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28 Ways to Spot a Real Man


Society & Culture  (tags: americans, children, culture, education, ethics, family, freedoms, GoodNews, society )

Kit
- 575 days ago - goodmenproject.com
Need a hero? Here's 28 ways to spot a man that'll be up to the job. These are not Hollywood heroes just good men in their daily lives.



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Comments

Kit B. (276)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 11:16 am

Thanks to Buzz Feed and The Good Men Project for giving us a open conversation on what a man can be.
The conversation no one else is having.

After fully bracing her step-son I heard this woman say, "Oh now you are going to cry? What are you, a girl? I will start dressing you in girl clothes."

First it's wonderful to be a girl and women that say these things are not just hurting the ego of boys but continuing a long standing a stupid idea of what girls are. Please not hurt both boys and girls with statements like that one.
 

Angelika R. (145)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 11:32 am
fantastic images, great post, thanks! Yes we know they are out there- however, unfortunately, mostly "invisible".
 

Kit B. (276)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 11:43 am

Maybe men are not always kind and gentle because society makes demands on how they must behave to meet the "man standard". Maybe these pictures are the real men and others are playing a role they think is expected of them.
 

Barbara F. (56)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 11:49 am
This was a great piece about REAL MEN! I know not all men are like this, but there are MORE AND MORE THAT ARE TRYING! I say we give men a break and START ENCOURAGING THEM TO BE MORE LIKE THESE MEN INSTEAD OF JUST FIRST THINKING THAT THEY CAN'T BE LIKE THEM! We really do have to stop judging men
before we really know them. At least, I DO! I'm not speaking for anyone but myself, so please don't take this the wrong way. I loved this piece and I even cried! THANKS KIT, FOR SHARING THIS!
 

Arielle S. (316)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 11:54 am
Ok, I said I wouldn't tear up, but I did - awesome men with beautiful spirits. Kudos to them and to you, Kit, for sharing this.
 

Craig Pittman (51)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 11:57 am
Wow what great role models these men are for the rest of us men. Pretty moving stuff. Thanks Kit.
 

SuSanne P. (190)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 12:08 pm
Thank you so much Kit. I am crying a river!
 

Frank S. (489)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 12:09 pm
Right now I don't care about role models, only tacos and what time the game is coming on, lol!
 

JL A. (286)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 12:11 pm
Gives an expanded meaning to the charge to become "All that you can be."
 

Theodore Shayne (56)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 12:13 pm
Noted & posted
 

Kit B. (276)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 12:16 pm

To the Taco Kid - the game is on late (7:30pm) and TACOS are being served!
 

Shelli S. (362)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 12:28 pm
Any man who luvs animals, is perfect in my book
 

Lois Jordan (60)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 12:34 pm
Noted w/thanks, Kit. What a pleasure to see this! I've raised 6 boys myself, and taught them much the same way my mom taught my brothers.....to be kind, courteous, gentle, thoughtful...never touch a woman roughly. Of course, it goes deeper than that; perhaps a deep respect for others in general, as well as empathy and compassion. When they cried, I hugged them and said, "just cry it all out." But, the world does get hold of them at some point, and tries to make them into something more "rough and tumble" or they are targeted by their peers. How they handle that is crucial, and does form them into what they become as adults.
 

Frank S. (489)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 12:35 pm
Now, that's what I'm talking about, Kit! Bring it on! ! Hmm, I'm getting to think maybe some nachos with jalapenos and a couple of burritos might go well with my tacos as well!
 

Kit B. (276)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 12:59 pm

I believe you are correct, Taco Kid.

Lois, thanks for that insight as a mom. I don't think I treated my son and daughter differently, but we are not the best judges of our own actions.
 

. (0)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 12:59 pm
I hope someday to be able to equal a few of these.
 

Kit B. (276)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 1:01 pm

Having the goal is half the war - good for you, Allan.
 

Barbara K. (70)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 1:11 pm
Thanks, my friend, for the really great post. Reminds me of my dad, and I still miss him.
 

Syd H. (48)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 1:22 pm

"Men" are only allowed two feelings. Happy... and Mad.

We are doing a disservice to men and ourselves by not allowing the full range of what a man, a person is, can be. I think men who cry are more full, more in touch than those who cannot, won't. I also think men who are vegetarian/vegan are also more "manly" because they don't let the narrow idea of what a "man" is keep them from doing what is right for them, for others.

Women have this going on as well. Who here doesn't cringe at the idea of armpit hair? Yet, 100 years ago no one shaved. We were led to it by advertising, propaganda, manipulation.

I will be back once I've had time to digest this. Currently trying to assimilate something else into my consciousness.

Thanks Kit. Hope this goes big. :)
 

Kit B. (276)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 1:41 pm

Most of the things we do are because of manipulation by advertisers via the Madison Avenue "think tank". To feed a baby with a bottle or by breast, that and so much of how we treat our babies was conceived by John Watson a psychologist that lost his credentials and sold his ideas to the infant Madison Avenue. Before this undue influence and the discovery of how easy it is to sway people, no woman would have considered any thing but breast milk. That is why it's there. Now, it's considered a legitimate option, though many will say their babies have a milk allergy. No, they are not allergic to mother's milk, not in the real world.

Men do have a great range of emotions, just as women do, but think about men on TV, in commercials and the shows. Men are depicted as breast beating "he men" nary a tear shall fall. I feel badly that men have been forced into this limitation on their full range of feelings.

Think about how many things you do every day and how much of that can be attributed to either advertising or just as bad, societal pressure. It's not just a few things, it's almost everything we do.
 

Yvonne White (233)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 1:45 pm
I have to admit that I'm married to a "real man"..though I got him young & raised him right!;) I don't let him know he's "different" (hehe)..after almost 40 years he has accepted his fate!:) He helped with the kids, loves his dogs & cats, helps with cooking & doing dishs without me nagging, and Quickly learned to vote Democratic!:) He can change oil & "manly" stuff like that too...but the best thing is I can listen to him talk without wanting to shoot him!:) That's always a plus!
 

Angelika R. (145)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 1:47 pm
armpit hair? SHAVE? NEVER me- hair is one of the most erotic things emerging from the human body i think-ok, that is just MY thought. however, TOO MUCH is not aesthetic either, true. Nothing wrong with just trimming a bit, tho!
 

jess b (26)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 1:48 pm
I enjoyed the photos and stories. I read some of the comments posted in the link. Someone objected to the word "real", noting we're all 'real', and spoke of men of good character. I can't remember,exactly, without checking back.
Thanks Kit
 

Angelika R. (145)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 1:50 pm
Congrats Yvonne-you must be one shining example with success in "raising a hubby" :-)) lucky you!
 

Kit B. (276)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 1:52 pm

American women now shave far more than arm pits and legs. Which has given me pause to consider the WHY of that trend, but most women under 40 are hairless, by choice. Or the choice of their lover.

I think Yvonne, in her own inimitable fashion is saying that she is married to a Real Man, and that marriage is a happy one.
 

Yvonne White (233)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 2:14 pm
I tell him daily how happy & lucky he is..;)
 

Angelika R. (145)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 2:22 pm
Kit, I know that and remember how SHOCKED I was about the pubic hair shaving habits of teens even-when Barbary posted that a while ago...beyond my comprehension and FORTUNATELY NO HABIT over here!
 

Angelika R. (145)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 2:27 pm
Ok, that is off topic here-but a final remark on the hair thing: that must be the reason then why so many-nearly the majority by my observation, of even older women in the US still wear long hair and loosely-and not really looking nice all the time-another thing you will rarely see over here as for women over say 50 at most, that is considered unsuitable.
 

Betsy M. (40)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 2:57 pm
Do yourself a favor and read this article. Amazing guys.
 

Susanne R. (249)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 3:06 pm
Very uplifting post, Kit! Some men simply don't realize that they appear to be most manly when they're not trying to create a macho image. I find my husband most attractive when he's playing with his grandchildren, acting uncharacteristically silly to make them laugh, and showing them love and physical affection without the slightest bit of self-consciousness.

Maybe it's just me, but the guy in Photo #20 didn't do a thing for me. Dangling a baby upside down while reaching for a beer would make me want to give him a swift kick in the ass --after taking the baby from him, of course.

I have to agree, Yvonne. Your marriage sounds like a great success!
 

Andrew C. (6)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 3:17 pm
What a great read, thanks for sharing.
 

Pat B. (355)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 3:20 pm
What a great post, Kit. Passing on to some men in my life that deserve to see this.
 

Christine Stewart (133)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 3:32 pm
Must love cats ;-) ....
 

Jonathan Harper (0)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 3:55 pm
Noted
 

Yvonne White (233)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 4:01 pm
Angelika, I don't get the hairless thing either - seems too close to pedaphile territory..but maybe it's so they can more easily identify STD possibilities? I do understand the aging women with long hair thing though - American men like long hair. Brian gets upset every time I cut my hair. So I usually wait until we're arguing to do it!;) Sneaky, but someone's always gonna lose...He still doesn't think it's funny when I introduce him as my First Husband.
 

Past Member (0)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 4:05 pm
Working with animals all my life I've always been around what I think of as perfect men. Dedicated, honest, hard-working, not afraid to get dirty or smelly or weird, always ready to jump in to lend a hand. Caring, compassionate, not afraid to cry ~ their smarts don't hurt either!
I stay in touch with men friends from years and years ago ~ and I've been with one of them for 33yrs.
Thanks, Kit, this was brilliant!
 

A F. (129)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 4:06 pm
Thank you!
 

Dytayja Cohen (3)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 4:36 pm
noted
 

Dytayja Cohen (3)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 4:36 pm
noted
 

Dytayja Cohen (3)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 4:36 pm
noted
 

Vivian B. (168)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 5:13 pm
Well, I must be one of those "aging women" with long hair. I have had mine long for so long, if I cut it, I would be so dizzy I wouldn't be able to stand up straight!
But I have one of those "Real Men" that doesn't know it. He just thinks that is what all men do! And we have two sons that are just like him!
Proud to say that if I cut my hair, my "Real Man" would be so incurably irritated that he wouldn't be able to function! And its not just a guy thing here. I love long hair on male or female.
This was a fantastic read, Kit! Loved it!
 

Angelika R. (145)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 6:03 pm
Vivian- that makes two of us and I would most likely freeze like mad-have had long hair all my life and still d But I am not keeping it because some man likes it, rather for myself! Could care less what others say or think.. but nobody has so far ;)
 

Carole Sarcinello (338)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 8:03 pm

Oh, yes!

THAT is a REAL man.

Thanks, Miss Kitty!

 

Eternal Gardener (749)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 8:14 pm
The reading went far too quickly for this one... wish it would go on and on, and on... :)
 

Yvonne White (233)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 9:09 pm
Being a hippie from way back, I love long hair on dudes as well as women. But most can't keep it long & keep their jobs any more. My oldest boy had to cut his for his job & my husband's hair just isn't the type to work long. I wish I had the right type face & hair to do a pixie cut, it looks so cute on young women. I usually cut mine when it gets too untidy. When I NEED to cut something, it's best for my husband if I cut my hair!;)
 

Sherri G. (123)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 10:01 pm
I really enjoyed this Kit. Yes indeed these are excellent examples of real men. Noted.
 

Rose Becke (293)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 10:44 pm
Brilliant Kit
 

Dimitris Dallis (30)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 11:28 pm
Thanks Kit :) Maybe I am after all...
 

Bryna Pizzo (139)
Sunday December 29, 2013, 11:47 pm
Thank you for sharing such an important article! (n, p, t)
 

Shelly Peterson (213)
Monday December 30, 2013, 12:23 am
AWESOME POST KIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...Sent to my Mom and her "new man!!", (whom I really , really like"!)...in their 70's, sailing on their sail boat, biking everyday, exploring, living and "NOT SKIPPIPPING A HEART BEAT AND MOMENT!!!!!..............GREAT POST!!! Thankyou so much!!!
 

kate K. (484)
Monday December 30, 2013, 3:12 am
the right man has to love animals ,thank you Kit :)
 

John Holton (357)
Monday December 30, 2013, 4:31 am
S and N
 

John Holton (357)
Monday December 30, 2013, 4:32 am
By showing and not speaking!
 

Daniel Partlow (189)
Monday December 30, 2013, 7:01 am
Kit, men or women either , all you need to be "real" is compassion, love, concideration, empathy, and a full range of emotion. Hopefully one where anger and greed are tempered with happiness and generocity. Hopefully one who can feel sorrow and pain and not let it turn them bitter and defeated. This is a tall order for anyone and sometimes we succeed and sometimes we fail. What is important is that we keep trying and don't let all the overwhelming sadness and evil in this world turn us hard and cruel. I just wish people weren't so selfish. Sending love to all and hoping the New Year will be a bit better y trying to make it so!
 

Winn Adams (216)
Monday December 30, 2013, 7:41 am
Thanks Kit, great post!
 

Ben Oscarsito (379)
Monday December 30, 2013, 9:35 am
"...Society makes demands on how they (men) must behave to meet the "man standard"..."
Well, don't count me in. I don't give a shite about that, and haven't done for at least 40 years...
If I'm a "Real man"...? -Who am I to tell...?
 

Ben Oscarsito (379)
Monday December 30, 2013, 9:37 am
And, I must say; -"Macho Men" are pathetic!
 

GGmaSheila D. (174)
Monday December 30, 2013, 10:20 am
Thank you for this wonderful post. Enjoyed it and also wished it went on longer. Have to say the man carrying the kitties in a basket through flood waters was a favorite - until I saw the man carrying the dog on his back. Of course I also loved the father and son superheroes, that brought warm fuzzies. So did the man pulling the boy on a broom...in other words, can't even pick a favorite, especially when I hit that fantastic last photo. Still smiling over all those happy kittens climbing all over a real man...how he kept a straight face I don't know.

Too bad we feel the need to define a "real" man in this day and age...there are so many men out there being "real" on a daily basis that never get acknowledged. Hopefully, they found "real" women who appreciate them.
 

Vallee R. (260)
Monday December 30, 2013, 10:57 am
Wonderful - thanks.
 

Nancy M. (201)
Monday December 30, 2013, 12:59 pm
Nice- thanks. Love the kitties.
 

Birgit W. (156)
Monday December 30, 2013, 1:24 pm
What is a real man or woman? Strange question. We are all unique.
 

cynthia B. (219)
Monday December 30, 2013, 1:51 pm
all men are real the question is are they compassionate, non-judgemental, ethical, honest and caring
 

Nelson Baker (0)
Monday December 30, 2013, 4:18 pm
A good article. Thank you.
 

Kamia T. (90)
Monday December 30, 2013, 4:21 pm
Great photos, thanks so much for this! Sadly, because of all the pressures on everyone in today's world, being real is harder and harder for both sexes. Kudos to the ones who have the courage to stay true to themselves, their life purpose, and speak out as needed.
 

. (0)
Monday December 30, 2013, 5:33 pm
The comments for this article have been very entertaining.
 

FinalCountDown BeforeMoving (80)
Monday December 30, 2013, 8:16 pm
Thanks Kit...wonderful article....real men..I've met so many..the barber really shone in my eyes..
 

Julie W. (27)
Tuesday December 31, 2013, 2:33 am
A real man has natural authority without needing to be aggressive to get what he wants.
 

Ruth C. (274)
Tuesday December 31, 2013, 8:29 am
My hats off to all those real men that make a difference in somebody's life.
 

Patsy Olive (0)
Tuesday December 31, 2013, 11:08 am
Noted.&tweeted.
 

Gene Jacobson (266)
Tuesday December 31, 2013, 12:16 pm
Liked it, shared it. :^)
 

Phil P. (93)
Tuesday December 31, 2013, 1:06 pm
Winning story and examples. But they forgot doing windows, floor and vacuuming. :-)
 

Irma Paulme (101)
Tuesday December 31, 2013, 7:27 pm

Rare breed, these men. Thanks.
 

Dave C. (236)
Wednesday January 1, 2014, 6:32 am
thanks, I had seen this the other day, but didn't read it until I noticed you mailed it to me....very nice.....
 

Kit B. (276)
Wednesday January 1, 2014, 10:16 am

Now that we all agree a Real Man, is kind, loving, generous and most important has empathy, maybe we can begin to give them room and opportunity for those emotions.

What is a Real Woman? Does she have to be a mother or have a career? Are all women able to express their emotions via estrogen? I think not. One definition might be that Real Women allow men to become Real Men.
 

Angelika R. (145)
Wednesday January 1, 2014, 12:29 pm
again most wise words spoken by Kit there! YES!!
And..sorry for it-but may I get back just one last time on the hairy subject and American women ;) ?:
Nothing at all against long hair even for aging ladies-as I love and have it myself, as said. BUT yesterday and today just offered me another fresh reason fo my objections for CERTAIN women: take the public and well known voices of CNN's Candy Cnd Barbara Stern for instance,..(although both recently just cut their hair a bit)-do you think they LOOKED GOOD? I DON'T: and worse: THIS WHAT MUST BE SOME TYPE OF HOLIDAY SUBSTITUTE for the DOS spokesperson I assume, a Ms Harp,-she in fact looks like a SLUT with THAT HAIR.
forgive me Kit ^^
 

Yvonne White (233)
Wednesday January 1, 2014, 1:41 pm
LOL! Brian wants me to get slutty hair..;)
 

Cal Mendelsohn (1024)
Wednesday January 1, 2014, 2:58 pm
A fantastic piece...thanks for posting this, Kit.
 

FinalCountDown BeforeMoving (80)
Wednesday January 1, 2014, 4:24 pm
Thanks Kit...I just ask...what makes a "Person Real" no sexism in our household...a good person is just, a good person..the same applies to a stupid person..both sexes can be..

Angelika - as for the hair thing..in Australia we have many older women that have long hair...I went grey in my 40's and everyone told me to keep it short so it will be easier to dye regularly, because grey hair isn't fashionable short or long. Not being a "dedicated follower of fashion" or to fall in line with Society's narrow thinking..I just let it grow and grow it did......my silver tresses fall down to my waist..and I get strangers coming up to me and saying what beautiful hair I have..."I just smile and say thank you..I'm a good farmer I grew it myself, it always ends in laughter"...as for "slutty" hair!!!!...LOL
 

Angelika R. (145)
Wednesday January 1, 2014, 6:28 pm
well, have you SEEN that woman , Ms Harp??? Besides, Yvonne and Ros-neither of you goes on TV, do you? Nor are you holding a posision of being a spokeswoman for the DOS.. ;)-she in fact looked like a slutty Barbie or something, bright red lipstick-pale as Miss Piggy, huge dark brim glasses and long blonde nasty looking hair- she definitely would never see a TV camera here! Long hair for people in public service needs a hairdo, the hair alone won't do.

Ros-wonderful-so was mine until some months ago but I did not wear it open then.
 

Yvonne White (233)
Wednesday January 1, 2014, 7:09 pm
I have not seen Ms Harp, I think I would remember her, if she's as you describe! I'm too lazy to dye my hair, so the red faded to blonde & white & silver..though I like it now, I did have to years that irritated me as it faded to flesh color on it's way to this "final"(?) look! I get what you mean, though - in the public eye you need to look professional ..hmm, Prostitutes are professional, maybe she has a side business???
 

FinalCountDown BeforeMoving (80)
Wednesday January 1, 2014, 8:37 pm
If I do my job correctly and professionally - why should people complain how I look..I don't get paid to look good or to fit into a sterotype....if they want me to wear a uniform, well and good they can pay for it. If I'm in a profession where my hair needs to be tired up due to safety/hygiene concerns so be it...all I'm concerned about is if that person is doing their job properly...No I haven't seen Ms Harp but from your description I have seen many like her in the public forums/tv etc...

Sad to hear that Angelika..not wearing it open..always hiding part of yourself..I've taken mine into Boardrooms, worked on multi-million $ deals .in male dominated industries and all that was ever said is "Your hairs grown since last time" and with that I would reply.."so have I, remember Samson, so who's ready to put the first offer on the table"
 

Kit B. (276)
Wednesday January 1, 2014, 10:41 pm

Angelika, I have worn long hair most of my life. I recently had it cut to shoulder length and may go a little shorter, but I can not imagine not having some length to my hair. I too like long hair on men. That may have something to do with the years that I grew up or something that I find attractive. I don't think that my hair makes me slutty Barbie, that would come more from my attitudes or my presentation of myself, my hair is just a part of a grooming choice.
 

Past Member (0)
Thursday January 2, 2014, 11:21 am
www.goodmenproject.com
Recommended .
 

Robert B. (59)
Thursday January 2, 2014, 1:33 pm
Great post Kit! Compassion and kindness are what make people real.
 

pam w. (139)
Thursday January 2, 2014, 7:37 pm
Loved the two CAPED CRUSADERS!
 

Patricia H. (442)
Friday January 3, 2014, 1:41 am
great guys, thanks Kit
 

Beverly M. (88)
Monday January 13, 2014, 12:12 pm
This is so wonderful Kit, so glad you shared with us. I'm such a sucker for these stories and these kind of men ~ and the one with the homeless girl made me tear up!
 
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