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All Lanes on George Washington Bridge Blocked By Chris Christie's Ego -- Andy Borowitz

Society & Culture  (tags: americans, culture, humor, satire, society )

- 1564 days ago -
Aerial images of the bridge showed traffic snarling for miles as Mr. Christie's massive self-regard shut down all lanes on the upper and lower roadways.***HUMOR***SATIRE***

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Kit B (276)
Thursday January 9, 2014, 10:38 am
Photograph by Tom Mihalek/Reuters

TRENTON (The Borowitz Report)—All lanes of traffic on the George Washington Bridge were blocked this afternoon by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s ego, traffic reports said.

Aerial images of the bridge showed traffic snarling for miles as Mr. Christie’s massive self-regard shut down all lanes on the upper and lower roadways. Tracy Klugian, a frustrated motorist attempting to head back to his home in Montclair, New Jersey, echoed the feelings of many drivers whose passage was blocked by the gargantuan ego: “First the polar vortex, and now this.”

A spokesman for the New York City Department of Transportation advised motorists to avoid the Governor’s ego by using the Lincoln and Holland tunnels “before Chris Christie remembers they’re there.”

But the spokesman hinted that Mr. Christie’s towering ego might be yet another traffic inconvenience, like potholes and road construction, that area drivers should get used to: “It’s not getting smaller any time soon.”
*****HUMOR ***** SATIRE****

By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |

Kit B (276)
Thursday January 9, 2014, 10:40 am

Andy is having so much fun with Christie-gate. The best satire is that which comes closest to the actual story. That sure does describe Christie and his huge - Ego and other things.

Roseann d (178)
Thursday January 9, 2014, 11:37 am
Blocked by his ego or his body bulk?

Kit B (276)
Thursday January 9, 2014, 12:05 pm

Maybe a combination of the two, Roseann.

Angelika R (143)
Thursday January 9, 2014, 12:09 pm
hilarious, once again! Yes, he does seem to really dig into this affair with greatest of fun! to our benefit. thx

Vivian B (169)
Thursday January 9, 2014, 1:35 pm
Christie is diverting all blame to people that are disposable!! That makes so much more sense!

Yvonne White (229)
Thursday January 9, 2014, 2:37 pm
Prime Presidential material, for a RepubliCON!

Joanne Dixon (38)
Thursday January 9, 2014, 10:31 pm
Not impossible some of the blockage was from his nose growing.

Mike H (252)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 9:03 am
If Christie just sits down on the road he will block all traffic.

Kathleen R (192)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 10:19 am
I can see Schultz the German soldier on Hogan's Heroes saying "I know nothing". Except Schultz (John Banner) was more loveable. Thanks Kit. Andy B comes to the rescue and straightens everything out. LOL

Winn A (179)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 10:41 am
No chance for a presidential run now . . . . . . . .

Mary Donnelly (47)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 12:50 pm
Thanks Kit--useful reminder of how politicians "fix" things.

Past Member (0)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 12:52 pm
It's not hard to believe that Christie would be trying to clog a major artery.

Though I must say, I thought Christie was bigger than that.


Arielle S (313)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 12:55 pm
Heh - we knew Andy would have something on this and he never disappoints! Also saw Jon Stewart's contribution - Christie hardly stands a chance....

Gary L (138)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 12:56 pm
thanks Kit great stuff now we just need a giant pin to burst the buffoons massive bubble

Yvonne White (229)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 1:41 pm
I hate to be the downer, but G.W. was a joke too..He bankrupted companies, states, and finally the whole United States, with his bullying & why Wouldn't the RepubliCONs pick him? They have NO Shame!

Gerry W (0)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 1:57 pm
Get rid of these brainless fat people as they care nothing about anyone but themselves and their stomachs. oh and the idiots that vote them in.

. (0)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 2:02 pm
I love the fact this is the first "scandal" in Christie's term in office. I just wish his empty promises about Sandy would be writen about.

Birgit W (160)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 2:03 pm
Thanks Kit.

Jonathan H (0)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 3:37 pm

Howard Crosse (21)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 3:55 pm
Well at least this man has had his 15 minutes of world wide fame. I live in the UK and heard this story on the BBC. I'm not sure whether he has achieved fame or infamy!

Carlene V (202)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 5:46 pm
Borowitz is the best! Thanks Kit.

Paul B (83)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 6:29 pm
It's a wonder how the jury system works in this country.

Jeanne R (1203)
Saturday January 11, 2014, 8:15 pm
I love Andy!!!

Karen Chestney (112)
Sunday January 12, 2014, 3:27 am
---Christie is a bully. and he's a vindictive one at that.

marie C (163)
Sunday January 12, 2014, 5:01 pm
Thank you Kit

Jonathan H (0)
Monday January 13, 2014, 4:32 am

Arlene C (44)
Monday January 13, 2014, 5:40 am
merci pour l'info.

Katie K (70)
Monday January 13, 2014, 1:10 pm
I was so hoping he was different and truly gave a heck. In his defense, he's just one that got caught among the many. I'm sure all politicians stick it to whoever don't play their way. All these guys have got to go. I'd prefer a computer running the government.

Rose Becke (141)
Monday January 13, 2014, 3:01 pm
sorry but I am having a good chuckle

Dot A (182)
Monday January 13, 2014, 3:22 pm
surgical excision
still failing to correct bulk 'ego' growth

funny and
not at all funny if we ignore the bloak's ill fated errors

fat chance of a good fix
skinny chance of success

“0” score
tally at the election poll

* it does not compute *

Dot A (182)
Monday January 13, 2014, 3:33 pm

0ps, correction of a word

bloke was misspelled, -thought it was corrected, but, now see it isn't

should be: bloke's ill fate

but, this hic cup has served the public some greater indigestion,... (?)

Diane K (134)
Monday January 13, 2014, 5:55 pm
Block Christy from running for office or being a Governor in office! thanks

JL A (281)
Monday January 13, 2014, 6:47 pm
Thanks for the dose of AB Kit--the ego could well have become inflated during the battle with the legislature over his unprecedented actions and related hubris on NJ Supreme Court appointments.

Charlene Rush (79)
Monday January 13, 2014, 10:49 pm
Andy Borowitz hit the nail on the head.
Truer words were never spoken.

Gloria p (304)
Tuesday January 14, 2014, 1:38 pm
Silly but true!

Muriel Servaege (53)
Tuesday January 14, 2014, 1:42 pm
Thank you, Kit.

Hector Rodriguez (4)
Tuesday January 14, 2014, 2:23 pm

Dotti L (85)
Tuesday January 14, 2014, 4:08 pm
I get Andy in my gmail Inbox. He is the best. I like what Michael had to say, that he could just sit down in the lane of traffic and block it with all his bigness.

Patsy Olive (0)
Tuesday January 14, 2014, 5:55 pm
noted.& tweeted.
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