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Obama's Call to End Tragedies Angers Pro-Tragedy Wing in Congress -- Andy Borowitz

Society & Culture  (tags: americans, culture, humor, satire, society )

- 1036 days ago -
President Obama's call during his State of the Union address to "stop more tragedies from visiting innocent Americans" received a frosty response from the pro-tragedy wing in Congress last night.**HUMOR**

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Kit B. (276)
Thursday January 30, 2014, 6:57 pm
Photograph by Larry Downing/AP.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — President Obama’s call during his State of the Union address to “stop more tragedies from visiting innocent Americans” received a frosty response from the pro-tragedy wing in Congress last night.

After Mr. Obama made his controversial stopping-tragedies remark, prominent pro-tragedy members of Congress looked on in stony silence, refusing to applaud.

“I thought it was offensive and inappropriate,” said Sen. David Vitter (R-Louisiana). “If the President wants cooperation from Congress, he should refrain from his divisive and inflammatory anti-tragedy rhetoric.”

The pro-tragedy lobby is among the most powerful in Washington, spending millions annually to defeat politicians who oppose tragedies.

Another congressman with a strong pro-tragedy voting record, Rep. Joe Wilson (R-South Carolina), also blasted the President’s remark, accusing Mr. Obama of conducting a “war on tragedy.”

“If the President really thinks he is going to prevent more tragedies, he should be prepared for a fight,” Rep. Wilson said. “The American people’s right to tragedies is protected by the United States Constitution.”

By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |

Arielle S. (313)
Thursday January 30, 2014, 7:04 pm
LOL...funny how Andy consistently finds humor that always has a grain of truth in it. The stony-faced ones have this reaction to just about everything, real or Andy-ized.

JL A. (281)
Friday January 31, 2014, 10:49 am
Thanks for the double dose of AB Kit! Tragedians are such drama queens (or are they all kings?)

Elle B. (84)
Friday January 31, 2014, 11:56 am
Ty Kit ... "pro-tragedy" . . . "War on Tragedy" ... just too true . . . severe poli-blues relief ... just a dose of A.B. away . . . (still loling. . . )

"Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he/she is involved in tragic events." ― E.T. (Cy) Eberhart

PS. A.B. 's articles should be up on illuminated signs and reader boards across the nation . . . morale would tsunami --of course it would be a great "tragedy" to the "stoney-faced ones..." [1]

*[1] credit: ty Arielle--added to lexicon. . .


Panchali Yapa (26)
Saturday February 1, 2014, 1:47 am
Thank you :)

Jonathan Harper (0)
Saturday February 1, 2014, 2:21 am

Angelika R. (143)
Saturday February 1, 2014, 6:57 am
Andy for president! Thx!

Lois Jordan (63)
Saturday February 1, 2014, 6:14 pm
Noted. Thanks for the giggles, Kit. I think Andy's secret is writing what most people are thinking...just a guess.
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