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Putin Receives Strong Words of Support in Ninety-Minute Conversation With Self -- Andy Borowitz

Society & Culture  (tags: americans, culture, humor, satire, society )

- 1570 days ago -
The invasion of Crimea was the main topic of the conversation, which Mr. Putin described as "extremely collegial and enthusiastic." ***HUMOR***SATIRE***

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Kit B (276)
Wednesday March 5, 2014, 12:10 pm
Photograph by Mikhail Klimentyev/AFP/Getty.

MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—Russian President Vladimir Putin received “strong, unqualified words of support” last night in a ninety-minute conversation with himself, Mr. Putin confirmed today.

The invasion of Crimea was the main topic of the conversation, which Mr. Putin described as “extremely collegial and enthusiastic.”

“We discussed a wide range of issues, including how everyone in Ukraine had invited us to come to Ukraine, and also how the soldiers reported to be in Crimea were not actually Russian soldiers but, in fact, local volunteers who looked a lot like Russian soldiers,” he said. “There was strong agreement on all of these matters.”

Mr. Putin pronounced the ninety-minute conversation “exceedingly helpful.” He added: “It was exhilarating to be able to talk at length with someone for whom I have such boundless love and respect.”

Buoyed by last night’s positive dialogue, Mr. Putin said that he planned to have many such conversations in the days and weeks ahead. “It was good to hear how splendidly everything was going,” he said.

By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |


Arielle S (313)
Wednesday March 5, 2014, 12:46 pm
I've been waiting for this one and it did not disappoint! A world leader who thinks it's cool to pose bare-chested would also think he was a brilliant conversationalist with himself.... (rolling eyes)

JL A (281)
Wednesday March 5, 2014, 1:32 pm
Thanks for this welcome dose of AB Kit! It also evokes images of Putin as an outcast, perhaps with narcissistic tendencies, with no one but himself who sees things his way...

Terry King (113)
Wednesday March 5, 2014, 2:31 pm
Vladimir Putin... A legend in his own mind! A Russian Ronald Reagan!

Pat B (356)
Wednesday March 5, 2014, 5:29 pm
Andy is spot on with Putin...Thanks, Kit for this.

Sherri G (128)
Wednesday March 5, 2014, 11:41 pm
Putin is a thug. Andy always brings a smile. TY Kit Noted

Lois Jordan (63)
Thursday March 6, 2014, 3:19 pm
Well, satire or not, it makes sense to me! But, there were a few giggles....thinking that Putin "isn't right in the head."

Susanne R (235)
Sunday March 16, 2014, 11:03 pm
This man condemns gays until he's blue in the face --and then poses in ways that make him look like Siegfried and/or Roy. Hmmm....
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