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In Landmark Decision, Supreme Court Strikes Down Main Reason Country Was Started - - Andy Borowitz

Society & Culture  (tags: americans, culture, humor, satire, society )

- 1506 days ago -
"The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years," said Justice Samuel Alito, writing for the majority. "Getting rid of it was long overdue." *HUMOR--SATIRE*

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Kit B (276)
Wednesday May 7, 2014, 7:51 am
Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — In what legal experts are calling a landmark decision, on Monday the United States Supreme Court struck down what many believe to be the main reason the country was started.

By a five-to-four vote, the Court eliminated what grade-school children have traditionally been taught was one of the key rationales for founding the United States in the first place.

“The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years,” said Justice Samuel Alito, writing for the majority. “Getting rid of it was long overdue.”

Calling the decision “historic,” Justice Antonin Scalia was guarded in predicting what the Court might accomplish next.

“Last year, we gutted the Voting Rights Act, and today we did the First Amendment,” he said. “We’ll just have to see what’s left.”

By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |

Sue H (7)
Wednesday May 7, 2014, 8:01 am
I guess that I'd rather laugh about this than cry.

Nancy M (169)
Wednesday May 7, 2014, 11:12 am
Laughing and crying at the same time. Thanks Kit.

Angelika R (143)
Wednesday May 7, 2014, 11:27 am
I'll tell him what's left : gutting him! Thx Kit for the bitter-sweet fun.

Sheri Schongold (7)
Thursday May 8, 2014, 1:21 pm
The Supreme Court is a joke and it needs gutting and replacing with people more informed. If our forefathers were around they would have a fit. As it is they are turning over in their graves. Some people are thinking it is sad but funny. IT IS NOT!! It is sad that they USA has come to this. At one time the Constitution was the law to be followed, not any more. Now it is nothing more than a joke to be stripped of it's purpose, one at a time. If the court follows thru, it will strip all term limits and say you can stay as long as you like, no election needed. Are we ready for Obama to run this country forever? We are becoming another Russia with the President and the Court setting the laws.

Birgit W (160)
Thursday May 8, 2014, 3:11 pm
I agree with all of the above. Thanks.

Joanne Dixon (38)
Thursday May 8, 2014, 3:13 pm
Please don't blame this Court on Obama. He did NOT appoint them The two justices he did appoint both voted against this decision - in fact one of them wrote the dissent which four justices signed. No, the fact is that he needs to be able to appoint more justices in order to reverse this trend. Angelika, I don't believe in violence (and I know that you really don't either), but if we did, what a great idea.

Mary Donnelly (47)
Thursday May 8, 2014, 3:25 pm

Freya H (357)
Thursday May 8, 2014, 4:07 pm
This nation is going to Helium-Double-Hockey-Sticks in ye olde handbasket. I fear that we are headed straight for a really serious meltdown: Citizens United, the rich getting richer at the expense of the poor and middle class, the Religious Reich gaining power, the gub-mint not giving a sh-- about the 99%, etc., etc., etc.

Julie W (32)
Friday May 9, 2014, 3:02 am
Ouch! Too close to the truth to be funny.

. (0)
Friday May 9, 2014, 5:32 am

Alan Lambert (91)
Friday May 9, 2014, 2:48 pm
If Obama gets to appoint another justice, may I suggest Anita Hill? And if the next Justice has to wait for President Clinton 45 then may I suggest Barack H Obama?

It will 100% piss the GOP off...

JL A (281)
Friday May 9, 2014, 8:14 pm
I like your thinking Alan--the scary thing is most predict the next retirements to be among the four who joined in the dissent.

Charlene Rush (79)
Saturday May 10, 2014, 11:11 pm
Justice Alito is the most dangerous Justice on our current Supreme Court.
The U.S.A. will regret ever having put him in a position of such power.
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