Tuesday November 3, 2009, 8:30 pm
Happy....LOL

Big Gorilly Hgus

Tuesday November 3, 2009, 8:35 pm
I am working on this right now..............yep.

Tuesday November 3, 2009, 8:40 pm
Happy,single kitty

Tuesday November 3, 2009, 8:52 pm
Single now, and can I say it, happy, yes I am happier now.

Tuesday November 3, 2009, 8:53 pm
I wouldn't have thought they were necessarily mutually exclusive.
However I have noticed that marriage tends to raise people's expectations of a partner and I've seen a few good long term relationships that were wrecked by subsequent marrige when the dynamic changed where one or the other or occasionally both the partners in the relationship altered the ground rules.
I'm not sure that many single people are any happier than many married couples, however if you're marrying with expectations (male or female) that life is necessarily going to be better because of the institution or that the other person is going to "take care" of you, you may be bitterly disappointed.
If you are relying on other people to make you happy you probably won't be.

Tuesday November 3, 2009, 8:57 pm
Very true John, no one should rely on someone else to make them happier, it is no one responsibity except your own.

Tuesday November 3, 2009, 9:21 pm
I wasn't happy when I was married; I am happier now...but one day I hope to be happily married!! :)

Tuesday November 3, 2009, 11:11 pm
I'd rather be happy. I've been in a 26 year committed relationship to a wonderful man and have grown happier each year with him. We are best friends, talk throughout every day, work together, laugh alot and make decisions together. It has not always been easy and there were low points over the years. Really low points. But we've been through alot together and know we can count on each other through thick and thin.

We made the decision long ago not to marry because we've both had failed marriages and for financial reasons. Would we still be together and happy if married? I don't know, but I think I would work at it just as much as I do now...every single day.

Wednesday November 4, 2009, 12:45 am
i was married now i'm single im happier now but i dont think being sinle suits everyone

Wednesday November 4, 2009, 1:14 am
Hmmmmmmmmmm?????????

Wednesday November 4, 2009, 3:39 am
Great to see this==thanks Daphna==always be married because you want to not because you have to! Women should always take pride in themselves--they can do anything they set their minds to!

Wednesday November 4, 2009, 3:41 am
Surely like most things in life relationships are highly individual and as we are all individual getting a partnership which ticks sufficient boxes without the ievitable compromises tearing the relationship apart then what's the problem. When for example one partner wants to "own" the other life can be intolerable for the one at the receiving end and if someone has the personal ability and resources to survive on their todd so to speak good luck to them! However the riligionists will doubtless chime in with cries of a single state being unnatural and agin God's Law and they should only being having sex if they are married and for the procreation of children not lustful desire and gratification! Sadly some religionist cannot conceive(sorry about the pun) of physical love between unmarriied persons of any gender!Of course there is no compulsion for single persons to have sexual relationships if they don't want too. Some obtain their fulfillment in different ways!

Wednesday November 4, 2009, 4:29 am
Can some one tell me what happiness is?If it is self satisfaction,then it doesn't matter.You can be happy either single or married. Thank Daphna

Wednesday November 4, 2009, 4:31 am
I am married for 42 years and I think I am happy.

Wednesday November 4, 2009, 7:39 am
You only think your happy Abdessalam! Perhaps you should not tell your wife that lol! She might prefer you to be happy! However as you say in your previous post what is happiness? You would perhaps have to ask a philosopher and that rules me out as I can never understand a word they say! However I have long advocated a Minister of Happiness for the UK as generally we Brits present rather a miserable persona to the rest of the world! I bags the post with full parliamentary expenses incase my moat springs a leak!

Wednesday November 4, 2009, 7:44 am
Maybe the question should be: What is happiness? John R touched on the answer.

Wednesday November 4, 2009, 9:05 am
Happiness comes from within ones self. That is the problem today I believe. People have to create their own happiness not expect it from someone else. it takes two whole people to make a "happy" marriage. It can be a real job if one is to emotionally dependent on the other. Love and respect yourself first and everything else will fall into place! I had to send a star to Cal I wish more guys thought like that!
Thanks Daphna

Wednesday November 4, 2009, 3:00 pm
You cannot currently send a star to Tierney or John because you have done so within the last week.

Happy is a place you come to in your heart..No one or nothing can put it there for you..

Happy I am..

Thursday November 5, 2009, 12:51 pm
Actually, this choice is similar to asking if someone would rather lose their arms or legs.

In actuallity, I have found that of my friends who are most happy, these are family people who are married with kids, and that most of the happy single people have a form of family, in the group of extended family and long term friendships they have.

The ratio of happiness to unhappiness seems to track exactly to grounding in relationships with others, whether romantic or not, and that people with the most friends and family and kids in their orbit of life are the most happy.

Married people who hate each other, and are distant, and isolated, and hermit singles with no social skills seem to rvial each other for unhappiness.

However, the unhappy singles seem to be less unhappy than the unhappy people in really bad marriages, which backs the idea that hell is bad relationships.

I am single, and extremely happy, but I have a huge number of friends, extended family, and work relationships so that I am awash in good and fulfilling relationships, but with very little free time.

Thursday November 5, 2009, 8:47 pm
Let me see... would I rather be a symbiote with at most 50% control of my life and pursiut of happiness and a less than a 51% chance of the symbiosis lasting and ending in what would more than likely be an almost PTSD inducing trauma or a free swimming amoeba with 100% control of my life and my pursuit of happiness? Can not actually say that I think there is much difference, which ever you choose, reality will do with you as it wishes whether or not you like it, happiness is how you feel when you do what you know to be the best you can with what you have. I was HAPPY when: I awoke from my surgeries, when chemo did not make me sick and I actually began to gain back th 70 pounds I had lost, when each day I could walk the 6 blocks to and from my chemo and radiation therapies, when one day I told my radiation oncologist that I was actually peeing normally and he got excited and ordered a new CAT scan that showed my tumor that had been just smaller than a soccer ball was gone to the point that radiation was no longer required,when I no longer needed opiates 8 times a day to deal with the pain of sitting down and feeling the radiation burn blisters pop and the skin rip off when I stood up, when my colostomy was reversed even though I knew the damage from the chemo and radiation therapies was permanent and would mean taking a pill every eight hours for the rest of my life with a strict diet just to be house boke enough to got out of the house for 3-5 hours,no sympathy please, I may heve journeyed through Hell and back but learned the lesson that happiness like so much else in life is what you make it. Childern are unhappy when they do not get everything they want because they have unrealistic expectations, the more realistic your expectations the happier you can be.Take joy when and where you find it, getting up in the morning,being able to walk,go to the park how ever you can to feed the ducks and squirrels, take joy in each and every acomplishment, it just does not matter what brings you joy or happiness, unless it involves intentionally causing unhappiness to those who do not deserve it, personally I find happiness is doing what I can to make Repugnicans and the Christian Taliban of America as unhappy as possible as they strive to define and control life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for everyone.