WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)--In what he called "a provocative and defiant act," President Obama charged on Tuesday that Russian President Vladimir Putin has started letting his calls go directly to voice mail.
Nick Clegg has called for brain tumour patient Ashya King's parents to be freed and reunited with their son. Brett and Naghemeh King are being held in custody in Madrid after removing Ashya from hospital in Southampton and travelling to Spain.
Declassified documents reveal that in the 1950s the FBI trained Alaskan residents to become agents behind enemy lines if the Soviets invaded. No women, Eskimo, Indians or Aleuts were included, with native peoples considered unreliable.