The Child Support System is Unfair

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH THE CHILD SUPPORT SYSTEM?

written by charmaine




The Child Support System is Unfair

When two people create a child is it really 50% his and 50% hers? If
a woman in a relationship (be it marriage, dating, or one night) comes
to her partner and announces she is pregnant and is NOT keeping the
child it is "her right" to choose, however if the father wishes to keep
the child he has no right to do so. If that same woman chooses to have
the child, SHE can then choose not to work. If it takes two people to
create a child then those TWO people should work to support it. 50/50.

The Women's Movement

Feminist have been screaming for years "Equal Rights." They want equal
rights in the work place, in the government and in their homes. When
does it stop being equal? As soon as a woman discovers that she is
pregnant. Suddenly it becomes a "woman's right to choose." Notice it is
not a "couples right to choose"? How is it possible that a woman
can make a choice to abort a child because SHE finds it is not a
convenient time, or she is not ready for a child? Yet if a man were to
say those things he is known as a "deadbeat."
In a quote taken from the US Department of Health and Human Services
it says, on the matter of collecting support "we want to send the
strongest possible message that parents cannot walk away from their
children." Shouldn't it read that FATHERS cannot walk away from their
children? A woman can walk away when she leaves her local abortion clinic.
That would be like asking a woman to pay the government a percentage of
her income to get an abortion. Or maybe she should have to pay a man what
he feels his child was worth when she aborted it.
Maybe to a man that child was worth something and he didn't get to
choose to take care of it then. A woman can get pregnant and tell a
man she will get back to him on what role he will play in that
child's life, as to say this is all mine to decide.

That is not the only choice a woman will be making. Now, after she
decides to keep the child which is 50% hers, she then chooses not to
work to support her child financially she can have her partner do it.
She does not have to work if she has custody of her child. Even later
when she is still not working and gets married or in some cases
remarried, she can still collect her support for their child and have
a husband pay her bills. That is her option. She also has the option to
go to school if she chooses. As long as she has her partner take care
of the child's financial woes then she can attend school, work, or stay
at home. How many of those options are available to a man. What if he
wanted custody and money to raise the child while he attends school,
would he gain it? It is highly unlikely. Or should I say unheard of.
So my question is "equal rights"? For whom?

The Vicious Cycle

Here is the set up; (that is not only unfair but hurtful to men that are
trying to be decent working fathers) The system gives women the right
to decide if SHE would like to keep a child. Then once she has an
order of support issued it is time for the father to start pinching
pennies. Or in some cases try to make money appear that they do not
have. There are countless men like my husband, who were living hand to
mouth, paycheck to paycheck before they found out about their order.
Then it is time for the "formula" that can somehow determine what a
man must pay. This FORMULA is all wrong. When figuring out the amounts
and percentages it does not factor in many important issues which
result in too many men serving jail time. Many of whom have NO
criminal history & are being treated like thieves.
What about the unexpected? What if every dime of someone's paycheck
goes to their bills and then the remainder goes to support, what
happens when the hours at their job are cut back, what happens when
their job does not allow sick days and a man is sick, he is forced to
work because if he did not go to work he could not afford his support
& then ends up in jail.


My husband has a child outside of marriage and two children at home to
support not to mention a wife. If the child support declares that one
child is due X amount of dollars a month, shouldn't that same amount be
due his other two children for their same needs? If one child receives
lets say six hundred dollars a month and that leaves NO money for the
children at home. What is the message they are sending now? One child is
more important then the others? Who ever is born first needs the most?
They should all receive the same, but it is impossible to do so because
there is not an endless amount of money. In most situation a man paying
child support is lucky if can hang on to a dollar himself. How can he
better his life and therefore the life of his child if he is never able
to move up in the world? It's designed to keep him treading water for
18 + years. It's a shame the state does not see that if a man can get
ahead then so can his child. How is that man able to if they cannot
set anything aside, invest in anything, or go to school because the
must go to work? They are stuck and that is okay with everyone because
the government is getting paid.
This system is designed to punish men for the loss the government took
while supporting woman and children on the welfare system. What better
way to get it back, take it out on future fathers. Make men pay the
government along with the child and then leave him penniless or in jail.
It is not a question of want. If the money is not there, it is not
there.
If payment is not met on time, garnish his wages. Now it is impossible
for him to take care of his family & pay his bills, so he has to
apply for government assistance to be able to take care of his
family. Or better yet... throw him in jail because now it is time to
punish tax payers. So now what do we have? You have a man who had
limited means to get by, who can no longer afford his support order, is
thrown in jail, his family gets on welfare and his child is not getting
paid, and the tax payers get to pay for him to eat.
Who does this system work for?

If all the men with unfair child support would stand together and
& refuse to work until their voice was heard, the jails would be
flooded and no one would benefit, but for some fathers it would be
worth it if it meant that people would open their eyes to the grave
injustice.

Where Do We Go From Here?

I do feel that it is important to factor in all sides. Children are not
the problem.
So I am asking both woman, men, and government to understand the
harsh reality that there are too many men that are hard working and
at the end of a long and stressful work week are lucky if they can
save a dime. Or even worse they are left with NO time to spend with the
child that receives the support. Support comes in many forms but with
a man it is usually in dollar signs. Not to say that the child is not
entitled to it but the mothers are not, nor is the government. The
system is punishing men for the governments interest on collecting
money that was lost in the past. Men with children owe their children.
They do not owe the state. The dollar amount should not put a strain
on a mans ability to live and maintain a relationship with his child
or his family. Some women will argue that it is a strain to raise a
child. I agree it is difficult. However this is a question of what is
fair. Is it fair that a woman can abort a child without a mans consent?
Is it fair man (like my husband) is forced to work seven days a week to
keep his head above water because he has a child? Is it fair that one
child is worth more than others? Is it fair that a man must serve time
in jail when they are trying? Is it right for the state to collect from
men that already pay taxes and now must pay a percentage because they
reproduced?

Can we do something to fix this? I am hopeful that a child can come out
on top if we all open our eyes and make this EQUAL.
Please sign if you feel a man should be entitled to speak his concerns
in a court of law, and to have those concerns be looked into instead of
dismissed which majority of the time are. Each individual case is
different, not everyone fits into a "formula."
Does the child support agency think that just because they say that
you owe this certain amount that that money will suddenly appear even
though prior to his child support he was living hand to mouth? Then
they let you know you have a child and not only do you owe you owe
back as well, now fork it over. There is only so much that one
person can do financially. So it is about time that the system makes
support reasonable and obtainable for hard working men. So that somehow
the orders can exist without leaving a man poverty stricken and give
him the freedom to work less so he can spend quality time with his
child/children.