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And what is Worry?
14 years ago

Many of us may indulge in two kinds of speech, dialogue - speaking out, and speaking within.

Speaking out is speaking objectively, sharing thought, opinion. Speaking out may be constructive for most of us, as in this Group.

But when there is a soundless, ceaseless, uncontrolled inner conversation harboring doubts, mistrust, or wishful thoughts or even undue expectation, then the mind is absorbed in chatter, unpleasant most often, and the person is in a state of worry, anxiety.

Worry does not seem to leave a moment's respite, a sort of mild madness for the one who worries. And worry often disturbs sleep, apetite, and one's digestion!

An example,

Bob's parents gifted him a new expensive car, and Bob lived in an apartment on the 5th floor. And he could park his car only on the street below. The first few days Bob was overcome with worry, and couldn't sleep well, worrying about his newly fond attachment, parked on the street below.

Would you be equally worried as Bob is? What would you suggest him? 

And a few may worry constantly...
14 years ago

An example,

"I have found an exceptionally wonderful friend, who is so much more than I, and I am worried whether this friendship will last!"

This is worry at its peak! To worry in anticipation of a friendship that may not last is to invite a break-up!

Would you agree?

:)
14 years ago

Oh goodness, Rajan. You are so right about that insipid voice we carry around with us. It is destructive and does very little to help us. It can be nasty about others but it is most cruel when it speaks about ourselves. If we were to hear some of the things it says said about other people we might leap to their defense, but because it is about ourselves...ME... we seem to think it is OK to let it carry on. I think this is common to everyone and we allow this self bullying perhaps because we think we "deserve it".

Worry is the same thing. It is self cruelty and we would not allow it regarding anyone else but ourselves. Also by now, it has become somewhat of a habit. We don't even hear what it is saying so much as take the meaning into ourselves and add it to the long list of "failures" we keep because we "know ourselves so well".

It really distresses me sometimes to think that there is a world of people out there beating themselves up on a daily basis. How can we practice self love and gain the ability to love others better if we allow this?

We need to recognise this voice and start telling it "NO". We need to start countering the "bad press" we have given ourselves over the years with conciously telling ourselves that (at the very least) we are doing the best we can. That "all you can do, is all you can do and all you can do is enough". Acknowledge and accept compliments from others. Not only is it not very nice to dismiss their kind thoughts in some kind of modesty, but it adds to the good in the world.

Worry is a waste of time, a waste of energy and a waste of spirit.

Thank you for bring this up Rajan. This is something I feel very strongly about!

Heidi

14 years ago

Yes, we do worry and for very various reasons.

But here's the quote I found once and liked a lot (can't remember who it belong, though):

Worry is worthless if it can't change anythig." Then followed the advise to stop worrying and let things happen or let the God take care for them.

14 years ago

well I would not be worryed like bob is over a car it a matralistic thing, and can be replaced,   worry about people for thy cannot be replace, like loved ones, family, friend, i lay awake at nught and worry about my children who arw 6 and 2 what kind of word will they live in a loving one or the one we have now where some just trun the other cheek on on homeless elderly other issues that pretain to a person, (LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING THIS WAS THE PROUDSEST MOMENT IN MY LIFE AS A MOM I KNOW IT DOESN'T HAVE TO DO WITH THE SUBJECT BUT I CAN,T HELP MY SELF,  ME  AND MY KIDS WHERE AT THE VIDIEO STORE THE OTHER DAY AND I AM REAL GOOD FREIENDS WITH THE OWNER SHE IS AN OLDER LADY AND ME AND HER WHERE TALKING AND SHE WAS TELL ME THAT IT WAS GETTING HARD FOR HER AND HER HUSBAND TO MAKE END MEAT, BECAUSE BUNNESS WAS SLOW AND SHE HAS A HARD TIME EVENING GETTING GROCERY MONEY THEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN MY SON WHO IS 6 TOOK A PEENY OUT OF HIS POCKET AND GAVE IT TO HER HE HAD FOUND IT ON THE STREET HE TOLD HER IT WAS ALL HE HAD BUT SHE COULD HAVE IT BECAUSE NO ONE SHOULD GO HUNGRY ME AND HER BOTH STARTED TO CRY  SHE ASKED ME IF SHE COULD KEEP THE PEENY TO REMINED THAT THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR THE FUTURE I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD IN MY LIFE

                                            LOVE TO ALL

                                               DARLENE

:)
14 years ago

Oh Darlene!

What a marvelous story! Your generous child gave all he had. That is very touching.. and what a lesson to us all. He heard a problem and, as a child, there is not much he can do in a world full of problems.. (just like the rest of us feel at times). But he did what he could... which is all any of us can do. He made the world a better place by a small but very meaningful action. Good for him! And good for you!

Heidi

:)
14 years ago

Austra! I love your quotes.

I know from personal experience that we so desperately want to "take care" of our own problems it is only when we are at the end of our perspicasity and energy and we cannot take any more that we learn the lesson of asking for help or "give the problem away". Sometimes there is nothing else to do. Often, I find, it is the best thing I ever did!

Heidi

14 years ago

Heidi,

thanks for taking care of us in this group

Ausra

14 years ago
thank you heidi yes my son is one of a kind in my eye he has a from a Autsium it call Asperbreg sydrom, he doesn,t see the world like we do there is days when he lives in his own world and not even me can get in . But it must be a wonderful place cause when he comes to ours his heart is as big as the sun even though he only 6 he understand that having a open heart can let in pain but also let in love joy and hope when he does something thats so kind and loving i ask him why and he always tells me you reep what you sew, when i asked him where he heard that from he tell me his mind tells him that THEY TELL ME PEOPLE LIKE JC GROW UP TO BE SOME OF THE GREATEST THINKERS OF THE WORLD I JUST WANT HIM TO GROW UP AND BE HAPPY
:)
14 years ago

Thank you so much Austra, You are so sweet!

Darlene, I am glad your little one has such a good mama who recognises his potential. He is a blessing for you and for us all. Please let us know how things are going for you all when you can.

Heidi

opps
14 years ago

Opps. I am sorry Ausra. My fingernails must need clipping. Sorry about the extra "T"

Heidi

Worry not!
14 years ago

Worry not!

As if a small child with a small coin, but a rich father, worried about how he would be able to get his food.

You have a rich Father. Turn to Him, Trust Him for everything. And the right thing will happen at the right time!

...
13 years ago

I once read a book where some men were trained for a mission inside of a secret service. The book was not about a real action; it was just a story. But there were some paragraphs about their psychological training.

Well, during their mission, they are in an enemy area, in a room of a hotel, in a foreign country, not knowing the language and being different from the rest of the population (meaning that they were easy targets) and waiting for a phone call. The action of the story radiates their tension and the period of waiting is a torture. They start to talk about their worries and everybody shows the way he tries to escape the tension. All of them are trying to do something to keep them busy and to stop their dim thoughts. One of them is scanning the street from the window, another boils some water to make some coffee, another meditates and the last one makes origami. So, the key for not being worry is to get as busier as possible.

Easier to say than do, when I am in a stressful situation myself!

Suggestion for Bob:

Find/buy a garage!

Don’t worry; your parents bought the car, so it’s not your money!

Make a contract of insurance for the car!

Pray to God and hope for a bright future!

Dear Cezar
13 years ago

Bob is well advised!

Actually, Insurance Companies gain the most from our ceaseless worries! People insure their homes, cars, their lives!

13 years ago
like heidi said, i also believe that worry is a non-productive bug that creeps in like a virus.
 
it does nothing but sap your energy and create more bad feelings.  in the end it doesn't change anything for the better.
 
i've often been "blamed" for not worrying ~ anything by someone who is a major worry-wort.  i joke w/him that this is why i have less gray hair and feel younger at heart. 
 
i just feel that to worry ~ something that is out of your control, something that hasn't happened brings you nothing positive.
 
i've just had some medical things i've been dealing with.  some in my family where very worried, when in fact there was nothing to worry ~ because we hadn't even gotten any test results back. 
 
so wouldn't that worry just allow for more negativity to further weaken you?  i believe so.  in the end so far all is well.  so as i've told my family (mom, especially) better to put your energy into thinking good thoughts and making those come true. 
 
it's wise to let go of things that you can't change and change the ones you can.
 
i think that once you can clear your mind of the clutter of negative thoughts and feelings, worry just goes out w/the trash as well leaving room for positive thoughts and outcomes.
 
aurora 
to bob - if you're to worry, expend that energy on more personal things and not material ones.  the material comes and goes, but the personal stay w/you longer. 
...
13 years ago
I agree with Aurora. There are a lot of things that are not under our control and this makes us feel uncomfortable. Trying to be positive, to focus on happy things so as to relieve the stress, might be hard in certain situations. And at those moments, I try to remember what my mother told me some years ago: “Do you have something to blame yourself for, regarding that particular situation? If the answer is Yes, you should do your best to change things! If your answer is No, then there is no need to worry, ‘cause you do it in vain!” This advice stays in my mind ever since and it never let me down.
You cannot change things....
13 years ago

"You cannot change things by worrying over them!

But you will find miracles happen when you hand over your problems to God - and then forget about them."

O mind!
13 years ago

"O mind! why dost thou wander from object to object?

Whatever has happened had to happen.

Knowing this, do not worry over the past, nor be concerned about the future.

Meditate on God and find true beauty, joy and peace!"

...
13 years ago

Thank you Rajan! I put your words from the first post on the wallpaper of my desktop, so I can see them every time I open the computer. You can’t imagine how huge is the pressure on my shoulders, knowing that the autumn exam will determine not only my career, but also my future.

I needed that.

Wise words
13 years ago
both of your mom, Cezar, and of you, Rajan.
Dear Cezar
13 years ago

Thank you for your appreciation, and it is a wonderful quote!

I do realise that you need to devote most of your time to your studies, and you must! Please do not worry about the well being of this wonderful Group! Worthy members here, will take good care and post often, I'm sure! 

To worry or not to worry...
13 years ago
Yet another great topic and more great responses! I would only like to add one thought. I have come to believe that when we worry, we need to look to our souls and ask ourselves how much faith we have. For it has seemed to me that when I do not have enough faith about a thing, I have more worry about it.

Love,
Rosie
Dear Rosie
13 years ago

I thank you again and again for being here, in numerous threads. Your share of knowledge, experience and much Wisdom benefits us greatly!

Yes, we must have more faith, and little or no doubts at all, to keep us away from needless worry.

I need to read this thread again.
13 years ago

And this sentence in particular:

"Worry is worthless if it can't change anything..."

I know that... I know that but I'm worrying. I'm worrying a lot .

I can't help it....

13 years ago

But you will find miracles happen when you hand over your problems to God - and then forget about them."

I can try to do what's in the first part of this but it's impossible forget it right now. It's too alive and urgent, something that doesn't let me to think about anything else no matter what I do to send my minds some other way... We need the vet to come soon!

13 years ago

"You cannot change things by worrying over them!"

This is true, but I would guess that the purpose of worrying over something that may go wrong is to come up with a plan for how to proceed if it does.  That is my excuse for my worrying.

"But you will find miracles happen when you hand over your problems to God - and then forget about them."

I do find that to be true!  There was a time when I was very concerned about my finances.  When I quit worrying and just put all my trust in God, more than enough money came into my life, immediately.  And that is just one example of many.

When I worry it is because I do not have enough faith in God.  I think I have to handle everything all by myself, and I worry over how I will do it.  I know that's not true, that God is there, but it is such a great temptation to see life this way - that we are separate from God and have to fend for ourselves.  That's what the senses tell us.  But our faith must be greater than our senses.

Dear Ausra
13 years ago
Please keep us informed about the well being of your cat. We hope the Vet arrived and he (the cat) is well now!
Dear Sally H.
13 years ago
Thank you for a wonderful post, and we always benefit from your experience and experiential Wisdom, which you willingly share with us. Faith is higher (in Consciousness) than our senses.
...
13 years ago
I guess we should know that there is a difference between worry and being preoccupied about something. You worry when you let the negative energy of doubt to invade your soul. And worry is, by definition, useless. But being “lost in thought”, actively using your brain to make a plan, being creative… this is very well. And this is not worry. God gave to us a brain. And our problems/challenges are silent impulses to use it. God will never help lazy people, as you probably know. But when we do what we can, I’m sure God will help us with what we can’t. So, let’s think in a constructive way!
Rajan,
13 years ago

I wish I could bring only good news here but...

 We had a tough day today- Runciukas, my beloved kitty fell sick again. Third time in a row. He's been getting injections for 2 days first time and felt quite healthy and gay then I left to Vilnius. I was away for a week and dad said he (the cat) was ok. Eating and using his toilet normaly. But soon after I came back he stopped eating again and we had another visit of the vet. Three days with injections again. Two days of good apettite and then again.... Runciukas was mewing and asking for food yesterday in the evening but ate nothing. Nothing today too... We went to the vet and got one more dose of injections (vet changed one of the medicines) and we have to make two more shots tomorrow and two after tomorrow... Poor kitty
I thought it's his kidneys (had problems when a small kitty) but no it's pancreatitis. At least the vet thinks so. He didn't take blood sample because there's no lab in our town and it's quite difficult to do that as he sais. We'd need to put my baby asleep to take 2 ml of blood from his vein. The vet hopes that new medicine will help. If not he'll take a blood sample and send it to the lab.

So, we're not in the best mood today...


Hope you're having a better day. And I'll try to think positive. I'll try.

Worry is a sick friend
13 years ago
Ausra, I am so very sorry about your sick kitty. i do know how this feels as I have 9 dogs and 2 cats. They are my babies, my children and I hurt when they hurt. It is always so difficult with animals as they cannot tell us where it hurts or how they feel. We have to guess and hope we guess right before it is too bad for them. Love your kitty and look deep into its eyes, for then you will hear its little soul telling you what it needs. This is a blessed kitty because it has someone who loves it so and therefore verifies its existence. I will pray for you and your kitty that God watches over you both and gives you strength.

Love and Blessings,
        Rosie
Rosie
13 years ago

thanks for your nice and heartfelt words.

Runciukas feels a bit better. He ate some food the vet gave us and something else. We'll see how it'll be tomorrow.

Kitty love and worry
13 years ago
I am sorry I was not able to write earlier. We had a bad storm last night and it knocked out our electricity all night.  I hope your kitty is feeling better.  Try not to worry about him too much.  Instead put him in God's hands and ask that God bathe him in the white light of His love.  You know, the Native American Indians in my country believe that when an animals physical life comes to an end, that animal gets to come back in the next stage of its spiritual development-a human.  I am not saying your kitty is dying, but this experience does give an opportunity for growth for you.  Do take care.

Love,
Rosie
...
13 years ago
A canary, a goldfinch, lots of parrots of all colors, a hamster, rabbits – lots of them, even 30, an aquarium with colored fish, many dogs, hens – entire generations of chicks, noisy geese, dirty and wet ducks, lots of turkeys, and finally cats… I had them all. But when my dear cat Pussy left me, more than 10 years ago, I decided that I don’t want to pass through this again. Since then I never had pets. I hope your cat will be well, Ausra!
Worry...
13 years ago

brings about the unwanted circumstance. It's odd how we humans create suffering. The worry about the car, I can identify with Bob, having just gone through two within a year.

I read somewhere that the stars were slowing me down, and it sure enough happened. My worry was, how will I get to work? Without my job, I can't pay my bills, I'd lose everything. Not just sleep.

Then, on top of the car problems I started to have problems at work. I stood up for an underdog and then the petty, top dogs came after me in full force.

It seemed that if it weren't for the bad luck, I had no luck at all.

Even the men in my life were coming in threes, and no matter what, men cannot be friends with the 'other' men. And one is always getting neglected.

It was like decisions, decisions and choices, choices! Worry worry, anger and more!

God! Why do you do this to me?

Well, God isn't DOING ANY of this to me. God is the Creator example...the constant. God provided me with everything that I could possibly need to accomplish anything that I desire.

God doesn't change our circumstances...God changes our character! If you rename 'worry and suffering'...to the word challenge, it makes it sound a little easier, doesn't it? God changes our character through the things that happen to us, the decisions that we make are what change us. If your foundation is faith-based in God ( GOD=GOODNESS ) then you are aligned with the most positive spirit in the realms of existence! Positive prayer, prayed continuously influences your entire being.

When you worry, you forget to breathe, your muscles tighten until you are a mess. A wreck!

If you don't have a loving human to gently knead your shoulders and kiss away your fears, then sit. Sit down in a comfortable position and think of your most favorite experience.

Focus on it, breathe, relax the tense muscles and inhale God's glory and hold it in until you can't any longer, then exhale. Don't exhale anything other than that very same glory. Because your neighbor may need it, next. Share the glory air!

Do you know what made me lose the worry?

I made affirmative steps to drop out of the world of worry. I said, I don't NEED this. I will not be trapped and be made a slave to this world. When we believe that this time is all there is, that there's nothing else, no supernatural realm, then we lose faith and act as though anything goes! We become pagans, thinking that this is all there is so we should enjoy it.

Then we lose contact with God, we let the materialism of the world take away our faith in goodness and become mean and full of hatred.

Each time that I encounter troubles, the still-small voice that resides within (because I believe in that truth which is love) the spirit in residence, provides the nudge to look for something good...it's there. Open your minds eye, breathe, relax and be inbetween realities. That is where the answers to all questions hover. The GoodGod place. The place that excites you as to what is to come.

If what you see is darkness...you must keep looking. Open the minds eye until you see the light. It floods over you like a warm wave and brings the utmost peace.

In the book of Matthew,

Chapter 6, verse 19-21

Do not store up for yourselves treasure on Earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Do we want our hearts to be trapped in the Earth or do we want our hearts to be free to fly with our spherit in the Heavens? If you think that you are lost...then you are. If your faith is in the goodness of God...then THAT is what you will have.

You do not have, because you do not ask God. James 4:2

"Whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith." Matthew 21:22

Dear Margaretha Z.
13 years ago

All that you've posted is Wisdom, and we thank you for this post!

I like this very much! It is truth expressed in its purity.

Chapter 6, verse 19-21

Do not store up for yourselves treasure on Earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

It is said ...
13 years ago

"What won't happen can't be made to happen!

What will happen can't be made otherwise."

Why do people not drink this antidote,

That removes the poison of anxious thought?

obstacles..
12 years ago

Worry.. anxiety.. the mind is again using tricky ways to demand our beings..

I see this is an old thread, but decided to write anyhow.. the reason I write is as I meet the worry all the time.. my son.. the girl I share the house with now.. (a friend I impulsively asked to share house and costs with) and other ppl around me at work aswell as myself occationally..

examples.. my son worries for the future, the reason is valid as swedish future for the young people are indeed troublesome.. the obstacles are raised by politics thats hard to force if not belonging to the "richer families".. I try each day to explain how to proceed and understand different obstacles as they arise.. THe worry is useless by all means.. in the end it will all turn out to the best possible..

The girl.. is afraid to be alone and got medical treatment that is said to "make her mood lighter".. she is also worrying of her personal future.. and personal relations.. from the conversations and communications we had I understood she is deeply hurt by other human actions from childhood and havent worked it through properly, but given medical treatment more then loving care and compassion in a correct way.. I feel sadness to see the people around me more and more is getting such treat, but little or none interaction that would actually help in a positive way.

For myself.. Yes, I do worry from time to time.. as before.. I noted that after a while when struggling enough.. I "give up" and sudden most of the obstacles are vanishing!! I cannot explain this, but I have repeatedly experienced it.. So my task is for now in this, to help my friends atleast to understand this?

S

Don't Worry - Be Happy
12 years ago
alfred_e_neuman.jpg


God's in your heart. You're there with God.
God directs your steps. You don't have to
worry. It's the secret to happiness.
Dear Sarvo
12 years ago

Was there a need for you to post that picture?

What does the picture convey, or express? Would you kindly clarify?

Only, to retain this wonderful thread as meaningful and clean as possible, I repeat one of my posts,

    "What won't happen can't be made to happen!

      What will happen can't be made otherwise."

      Why do people not drink this antidote,

      That removes the poison of anxious thought?

12 years ago

Yes, I agree with Rajan and those thinking alike.

Indeed, we invite the break-up worrying in anticipation,  thinking, it´s not worthwhile anyway, assuming "this too" will be a washout because we´ve made a bad experience, whenever...So bitter many an experience may have been, we need to pick ourselves up and start all over again, retire though for a while, but some time we need to start all over again...I think, rather another disappointment (it depends though, sure), but yes, rather another disappointment than sit there musing, moping about the house,  a situation that can be the beginning of languishinhg. Motion keeps mind and soul alive...Sweet or bitter, it´s all part of it; and we need both to be strong enough to start all over again..We always need that balance that´s no balance if no counterbalance.

I think, we should let pass some time until we rebound, live it down and get over it.  By nature, time will decide some time when we ought to start all over again, if we give time the time... 

 

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