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Heather O.

"To be a pain one person at a time......."

Fairfield, NE, USA
female, age 45
committed relationship, 3 children
Speaks: Sign Language (American), german, italian
Joined Jan 22, 2007
What I Want to Do:

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My personal attempts at poetry inspired by animals and human alike - I try to give voice to what I see in the eyes......

~Tears of a Broken Heart~

Quiet and lonely


Rise, swell and fall

This is the sound of a broken heart

Once beating full of joy

Now only a faint pitter-patter

In an empty room

Before it was clenched

In the grip of pain

It was wild and free

On the wings of passion

Now it roams listlessly

In a dark and foreboding place

Never to feel the joy of love

Forever seeing...

    Tears of a Broken Heart

~ Song of the Heart ~
Hear me I call for you
I beat fierce and proud
Hear me I sing true
My song is clear and loud
Feel my rhythmic beat
Chanting and ancient song
Full of a primal need
Quiet and unyieldingly strong
Feel my torrent of emotion
Seething wild and free
A stormtide of elation
Flowing powerful through me
Hear this song of yore
A carnel singing from afar
Beating stronger than before
This lonely song of the heart

~Demon Lover~
It is the sweetness of your smile
   that takes me in its enticement
Drawing me into a world of pleasure
Of whispers and gentle thoughts.....
   where love is tenderness
In the dance of a wild wind.....
Where music is Debussy-
   the sea and the moonlight
Yet suddenly, your mood changes-
In the thunder of a cannons roar
A crescendo of alluring magnetism.....
Where simple pleasing gives way
   to frenzied loving.....
Gentle reassurance drawn
   into a hot house of ecstasy.....
Contrasting colors in rainbow vibrancy
Climactic cries in the midst
   of a soft barely felt embrace.....
Your love is like an emerald.....
Deep green alluring.....
   like an ocean of sensuality
Bright reverberating charisma......
Sparkling in its false innocence.....
A demon lover in a green velvet
   cloak of worldly passion.....
You are my rose and my thorn.....
My enigmatic garden.....
   of a myriad of sensations
You are my soul's delight.....
My demon lover.....
   dancing in the milky waves
      of an emerald sea.....

~End of Us~
An agitation caused by fear
A lonely and unnecessary flight
Left me with unwanted tears
As you turned from me that night

I stood in a disenchanted trance
Amid the pain that tore us apart
Amazed while a small voice chanted
The song of my sorrowed heart

Color faded to a dismal hue
As we broke from one another
I looked in your eyes and I knew
That part of my life was over

Already the iron doors of pain
Clang against my bleeding heart
The feeling of fear drives me insane
With my emotions torn apart

In times of need, All I do is pray
For the strength to get me through the day
But in my lonely hours of silent screams
I need what I can’t have, so it seems
I’m lonely and you only left a short time ago
I remember how you found me, lost in limbo
I fail when I explain, You don’t know what to say
I’ll cry a little later, you stole my breathe away
Wishing on silver, the light begins to fade
Driving a rainstorm, the water blurs my way
Shouldn’t have drove off, you didn’t take the time
Like a car speeding in the rain, that was my mind
My emotions are tattered from climbing out again
Being pushed away shatters dreams and causes pain
In late September the summer began to fade
Without knowing you stripped my soul away
When you’ve been let down, try to climb after the fall
Getting released you burst upon the wall
I want to know why I feel like I am to blame
I was waiting for love but no one ever came

~Rag Doll - tribute to a grey mare~
She has been broken before-
shredded to pieces, tattered and torn,
only to be mended again... she's a Rag Doll
If you ever need to make yourself smile
she will comfort you in her own style
just hold her in your arms - but not too tight
you still need her to sooth your plight

if you ever need to bare your heart
she will be the listener in your saddest hour
don't fill her with promises of love or tender words of woo
remember - one day, not meaning to, you will go...

And when the time comes for your childish dreams to end
walk away quietly - she will understand...
once you have gone and tread down memory's lane
you would think of the poor Rag Doll
that comforted you in your darkest hours

She had a beating heart and a loving soul-
which finally got broken enough
That mending is painful and ever slow.....

~Confusion - A Horse's Soul~
When shall I see you again? In a day? A week? A year? Some say absence makes the heart grow fonder, But for me it brings despair and loneliness. My faith deserts me, my courage fails, my spirits darken until they can lower no more.

Then, like a heavenly figure, in those few, precious moments when you walk by, You enter, brightening my heart’s imagination. I am with you for a day, one thousand lifetimes, a moment, all at once. I pray for no end to this brief meeting.

But then, just as suddenly as you arrived, you vanish. In your place you leave the despair and loneliness that are all too familiar. Yet, in my heart I keep you and our memories. Though it was just a moment, it is the image of you I keep. It seems that you wish to forget me, but from my thoughts, you are not gone.

My heart wishes for you to stay. I've heard that if you let it someone go, they will come back - If you love truly. Will you ever come back for me? I feel you going further away with each passing day. The ambivalence you hold inside is tearing me apart. What did I do to make you abandon me?

The answer I have been looking for... It lies within you. It's deep inside below the pain. Next to the laughter and joys that we have shared. Can you tell me what I did to make you stop looking at me? What did I do to disappoint you?

Do you remember all the tears you shed in my mane as I tried to comfort you with a soft nicker? Do you remember all the hours we spent in the lazy afternoon sun, just you & I? Can you tell me what I did to make you stop whispering sweet words in my ears or softly caressing my muzzle?

I just don't know if our time has passed or if you have just lost interest in me. I still love you, I just may always. Only time will tell. I cannot tell a lie, I feel so completely lost, dying slowly inside, waiting for you to look and find what lies within my heart again.

Keep looking and I'm sure you'll find the answer that I seek, if I'm here and I'll try to be. Just not sure if I can wait. Although I know it isn't fair, you alone now hold my fate in your hands. Stop pushing me away now when I need you, You can still make sure that I am here when you may need me.

~A Rescue Horse's Thoughts~
Thunderstorms enter my heart, a cloud of mixed emotions.
The rain is tears from my eyes no longer cried.
A pasture of grass once grazed on by us wild horses,
   running wild by instinct.
A natural desire to be touched by forms of beauty and not pain
   yet by love given whole heartedly.
The beauty of me is within, way down deep,
   looking for a place to hide.
I am wondering what I did wrong.
Can you tell why you don’t see me anymore?
Why do you not touch me with words or hands?
You turned away from me, hurting me, but I still love you.
Like yesterday, like today. It hasn't changed.
You move further away and I hurt more. Love me.
Do not fear me, I was put here to love and be loved.
Take the reins of my heart and lead the way into blue skies above.
No more hate, beating, or bitterness.
I am in millions of pieces needing to be put back together again -
   not by shame, not by neglect, or pain.
But by Love. Hold me, love me. I am here for you always.
Even when you are cruel with words and hands.
I can forgive you anything, as long as you love me.
Personal Professional Contact Singles
Joined Jan 22, 2007 Activist Aspirations Enthusiastic 
Here for Meeting Friends, Professional Connections, Support a Cause, Other 
Group Host of none yet
Groups Defenders of Wildlife, Demanding Tougher Penalties for Animal Abuse!, Justice for Horses, Nebraskans Care Too, Until they are Safe - People Against Horse Slaughter, What we can do to stop Global Warming
Hometown Fairfield, NE 
Birthday June 30, 1973  
Languages Sign Language (American), german, italian  
About Me Well let's see, I am out spoken and try to get people to talk when something is bothering them. Other than trying to help animals - I am pretty much "what you see is what you get"
  Introduce yourself to Heather
Pets rats, cats, dogs, horses  
Activist Aspirations Enthusiastic
Political Leaning Depends
Religions Wiccan/Pagan/Earth Spirituality  
Wild Fact About Me I am deathly afraid of clowns!!! Ronald would be met with a 12 gauge.....
My Philosophy Every day I live I am more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence of those that will risk nothing and which, shirking pain, misses happiness as well.
What Gives Me Hope My children's laughter when we play in the snow and the soft woof of breath from a horse nuzzling my ear as I feed them.
If I were Mayor, I'd make the world a better place by Banning people who cannot be at least civil to one another - you don't have to like them, but respect them - who knows, you may need their help one day......
What/who changed my life and why My friend Linda. If it was not for her, I would have lost everything at one point in time and she has been my rock of Gabraltor more times than I can count...... She has helped me to keep smiling and seeing the best in people....
What Bugs Me people who WON'T use their minds!, people who don't "listen", People who can't be their self, ignorance, Evil people, cruelty, Complainers and whiners, arrogance, Any one that would hurt an animal, Any one that would hurt a child, abusive people  
Passions earth, my horses, spirituality, nature, love, making a difference, laughter, family, children, animals, LIFE!!!  
Inspirations my horses, rain, godess, animals, good people, understanding, the beauty of nature, my children, a gentle breeze  
What Scares Me moral direction of our society, those who loose themselves in bitterness, Ignorant people setting our laws, animal abusers, Disrespect for others, Is how cruel the people of the world are, cruel people  
Role Models GaWani Pony Boy, Steve Irwin, Jane Goodall, Willy Nelson, my children, my mother  
Quotation Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind. - Henri Amiel 1821-1881
Interests HORSES!!!!!, humor, crystals, wildlife, pets, Mythology / Folklore, herbs, computers  
Books anything worth reading, romance novels, fantasy, Stephen King, Mysteries, poetry  
Music A little bit of everything  
Movies Too many to just put a few...., Excalibur, Star Wars, Aliens - ALL OF THEM!!!  
TV Shows Scrubs, Alias, Animal Planet, x-files, Will and Grace, Law and Order SVU, Law and Order  
Favorite Foods a little bit of everything..., CHEEZE!!!!, italian, pizza, pasta  
Favorite Places home, mountains, forests  
Can't Live Without hope, food, freedom, water, my kids, my horses  
  Introduce yourself to Heather
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    "If you lose hope in other people, then they will lose hope in you. However, if you continue to love them and be there for them, then they will always be there for you."

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