5 Low Moments From the 2014 Conservative Political Action Conference

Conservative activists, lobbyists and luminaries are once more gathering at CPAC, the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, and, unsurprisingly, like years past the event has been a smorgasbord of far right craziness.

With speakers like Sen. Rand Paul, former Governor Mike Huckabee, and funder Foster “aspirin between the knees” Freiss, you can expect there were a lot of low-points for the convention. Here are five of them:

1) Paul Ryan steals a kids lunch…story. It’s bad enough that Wisconsin Congressman and presidential wannabe Paul Ryan is continuing to paint federally subsidized school lunches as a bad thing. Even worse, his story to explain why free lunch is bad was apparently stolen.

Ryan told the CPAC audience: “The left is making a big mistake here. What they’re offering people is a full stomach and an empty soul. The American people want more than that. This reminds me of a story I heard from Eloise Anderson. She serves in the cabinet of my buddy, Governor Scott Walker. She once met a young boy from a very poor family, and every day at school, he would get a free lunch from a government program. He told Eloise he didn’t want a free lunch. He wanted his own lunch, one in a brown-paper bag just like the other kids. He wanted one, he said, because he knew a kid with a brown-paper bag had someone who cared for him. This is what the left does not understand.”

Ryan apparently didn’t steal the story himself, it was stolen by Anderson, who read something sort of like it in a book and thought it would make good congressional testimony, which is where it spread. Meanwhile, Ryan is very sorry he never verified the story before he told it, but not that he advocates for killing off school lunches for the poor.

2) Talk show host claims no state ever banned gay marriage. According to Media Matters for America, during a panel titled “Can Libertarians and Social Conservatives Ever Get Along?” right wing talk show Michael Medved denied that gay couples have encountered state-sponsored discrimination. “There has never been a state in this country that has ever banned gay marriage,” Medved said, also calling it a “liberal lie.”

Apparently none of these 30 states count.

3) Minority outreach panel, now with elbow room. The panel was called “Reaching Out: The Rest of the Story,” and media reports state that the information was both good and solid. But the reporters may have been the only ones in attendance. A picture snapped 10 minutes in shows a conference room filled with row upon row of empty chairs. But according to Mediate, those chairs were filled by the end of the session when they were grabbed by people preparing to watch the next session, featuring NRA executive Wayne LaPierre.

4) Jindal compares U.S. Attorney General to segregationist. Obviously, not attending the outreach panel was Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. Jindal, who was once believed to be a presidential hopeful before he was discovered to be a fairly hopeless public speaker, has cemented that idea with a speech about school vouchers, comparing the the Obama administration to George Wallace trying to keep black students out of schools. “We’ve got Eric Holder and the Department of Justice trying to stand in the schoolhouse door to prevent minority kids, low-income kids, kids who haven’t had access to a great education, the chance to go to better schools,” he said in his speech.

No wonder the minority outreach panel was so dead.

The Department of Justice, meanwhile, has responded by sending Jindal a book about the civil rights movement.

And finally….

5) These shorts. Seriously, how is this pair of shorts not desecrating the flag?

Patriot Shorts


Photo credit: wikimedia commons


Jim Ven
Jim Ven1 years ago

thanks for the article.

Carole R.
Carole R3 years ago

thank you

Ken W.
Ken W3 years ago

The GOP is Working Against America !!!

Mary B.
Mary B3 years ago

Michael T..... I saw the Jon Stewart skit.....it was priceless !!!

Linda McKellar
Past Member 3 years ago

Now the truth has come out about Ryan's "brown bag" speech. First the story was 2nd hand. Secondly it was from a book written by a boy who is now an adult & favours school lunches for the needy. Third, he wanted his lunch in a brown bag so he would not have to bear the shame of not being to afford a lunch made at home. Sort of changes the perspective a bit doesn't it? More twisting of the truth by an asshole who grabbed at a story about which he had few real details.

Cletus W.
Cletus W.3 years ago

Joseph B. --- looks like you also are also having your own, odd sexual response to the mastabatory spectacle of repeated catechisms being spewed to the true-believers at the CPAC. Try to calm yourself, and zip back up, before you post next time.

You say liberals/democrats don't have debating skills?!! What? Then why has your intellectual ASS been kicked all up and down this thread?

Please note that one does not have to sit at a sewer and filter through every single piece of excrement to know EXACTLY what the sewer is full of. Moron.

As I posted earlier, and repeat here:
God Bless our free speech rights, and the people who are stupid enough to use them.

Brian Foster
Brian F3 years ago

Joseph B Nobody can live off $7.25 an hour. Your republican party should be trying to raise the low minimum wage, to adjust for inflation. You blame the poor, for receiving food stamps, and government assistance, but they have no choice. The average Walmart worker receives food stamps which we pay for through our taxes. So bashing poor people for handouts is wrong. The real handouts are given to corporate America by dirty venal republicans like you who give corporate welfare and refuse to raise their low minimum wage. Living in poverty is not fun, but is a reality for most Americans, because the jobs have been outsourced, to other countries, and those that do exist pay too little. So your republican party is the reason poverty is pervasive in America, by your refusal to raise the minimum wage, and allowing corporate welfare. The average corporate CEO makes 354 times the average worker, and corporations have made record profits, thanks to your republican party that is bought and paid for by corporate America.

Brian Foster
Brian F3 years ago

Excellent comments from Michael T and Robert H. Joseph B. Your republican party is a criminal organization that is bought and paid for by corporate special interest. The GOP has done nothing but destroy this country, with wars that were based on lies, and tax cuts for the rich. Nobody wants a handout. They want a job with a fair wage. Your republican refusal to raise the low $7.25 minimum wage has forced millions into poverty and food stamps. Republicans also give tax breaks to corporations called corporate wellfare. The result is that corporations have made record profits well the poor have decended into poverty. So your republican party is giving handouts to corporations by refusing to raise the minimum wage, and allowing corporate wellfare. This myopic policy has created record poverty in America. Your republican party is bought and paid for by the billionaire Koch brothers, and the dirty oil, coal, and natural gas industries that are poisoning our air and water. You continue to lie, and say Global Warming is not anthropogenic, because the dirty fossil fuel industry pays you to lie.

Sean Goldberg
Tonya lee3 years ago


Robert Hamm
Robert Hamm3 years ago

THEY HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER BECASUE THEY INTEND TO DO NOTHING UNTIL OBAMA IS GONE. THEM if threy get lucky enough to get the Whitehouse back they will enable all the normal things they vote for that they wont vote for NOW becauee Obama might get credit. CPAC was the darkest comdey I have seen in decades. NOTHING important was discussed. NOTHING. Name calling and sick references to the browning of the country. CPAC PROVED the republicans have NO PLAN they are willing to implement as long as Obama is in office….no matter how much it hurts the country!