6 Ways Men Can Be Better Feminist Allies

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published in October, 2016. 

I have some really great men in my life who are very sympathetic to feminist issues. They listen compassionately when I discuss the harassment I experience, recognize sexism in everyday life and talk to me about news they’ve read relating to women. They don’t get grossed out over periods or think women are weaker and over-emotional.

As much as I sincerely appreciate their efforts and interest, I also feel like it’s not enough. Existing in the world as a woman is often exhausting, and trying to promote gender equality can wear a person out. Women shouldn’t have to do all the work to make sure the world is a more equal place, and while lending a sympathetic ear is helpful it isn’t really work.

Men can and should be doing more to promote gender equality, because a more equal world is good for everyone. Here are some ways they can start.

1) Learn the Lingo

Of course, you can be a feminist without a working knowledge of feminist vocabulary. You can absolutely be aware of certain issues and inequalities and just not know exactly what to call them. However, if you’re a man who wants to be a better ally, taking some time to learn at least some feminist lingo can be a great step.

First of all, knowing some feminist jargon can help you participate in and understand conversations about feminism and you’ll be less tempted to interrupt a woman while she’s speaking if you’re already on the same page.

Plus, learning the vocabulary helps you learn about issues you might not realize exist. For example, before I knew the word “intersectionality,” I understood that sexism and racism both existed but I didn’t know how much they affected each other. Or homophobia and sexism. Before I heard the term “body positivity,” I didn’t know there was an entire movement behind loving your own body and accepting all body types.

While learning feminist vocabulary is a great first step, don’t rely on women to teach you. Women have more important things to do than give men vocabulary lessons. Learn about feminist terms on your own.

2) Educate Yourself on the Issues

Life would be so much easier for feminists if our friends and family already knew the details of the inequality we’re working to solve. And if you know more about feminist issues, maybe you’ll be able to find specific ways you can help.

There are countless ways you can learn more about the issues affecting women. You can read feminist books or blogs, listen to feminist podcasts or just listen to women about the issues affecting their every day lives.

Knowing the vocabulary can make this a lot easier, because you’ll have an easier time learning more about specific issues if you know what to look for.

3) Donate to Feminist Charities

All men should donate to feminist charities. If you are financially able to donate even a little, this is something you should be doing. Women earn between 15-45 percent less than men for the exact same job, depending on race. One very small step men can take to start to make up for this inequality is to donate to charities that support women and their rights.

Men can also support petition campaigns on Care2 that fight for women around the world.

4) Stand Up for Women in Public

If you see a woman being harassed in public, say something. Women are harassed and assaulted in public every day, and far too often bystanders just look the other way. Don’t be the guy who looks away, be the guy who does something. Whether you witness a girl being assaulted on public transportation, a woman being harassed for wearing a hijab or you see a racist white woman spewing hate at innocent shoppers, stand up for women when you witness misogyny, violence or bigotry.

5) Call Out Other Men for Misogynistic Behavior

One of the best ways for men to support women is to call out other men on their sexism, whether the comments or behavior are in front of a woman or just with men. Most of the time, people feel free to say sexist or bigoted things because they know they’ll get away with it. Be the person who doesn’t let them.

Often, misogyny is presented as a joke. It’s easy to laugh along when someone makes a sexist joke, but behavior like that is more damaging than it seems. Sexist jokes normalize sexism and make men think misogynistic behavior is okay. If you see or hear other men behaving in a sexist way or making sexist comments, shut it down. When people act like sexism is normal, it becomes normal.

6) Check Your Own Privilege and Sexist Behavior

Identifying as a feminist is great, but it doesn’t mean you’ll never say or do anything sexist. Be aware that you will still make mistakes and be willing to listen to those who call you out on your sexist behavior. It’s not a character judgment; it’s an opportunity for improvement.

Also, pay attention to your own privilege. Women get less space in public and in conversations than men. Make space for women on public transportation, don’t talk over female colleagues and make sure the women around you get credit for their work. It may sound like a lot to think about during the day, but you can make the world a better place for women just by being more self-aware.

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