Russia To Check Recruits for “Gay” Tattoos and Other Awful Tests

In a sea of straights, how to spot a gay? There are signs, the anti-gay folks tell us and here is a list of a few supposed gay tests, some of them funny and some of them really, absolutely not.

Russia To Check Recruits for “Gay” Genital Tattoos

Putin’s military establishment has decided they’re tired of flagrant (fragrant?) homosexuality among the ranks and so they’re taking matters into their own hands by mandating a new series of hardcore screenings designed to weed out those Madonna-loving, same-sex snogging recruits before they can infiltrate anyone’s bunker.

And the only way they could do this? A check that sounds more reminiscent of an adult-film script: a strip search to screen for “gay” tattoos. How does one characterize a gay tattoo? Well, if it’s of Lady Gaga, SpongeBob SquarePants, or dangerously homosexual milk, no need to investigate further. But as Glee’s Sue Silvester once remarked, there are some sneaky, sneaky gays out there. For them, apparently, it’s all about tattoo placement.

That’s right, a tattoo on the ass and you’ve got yourself a (classless) gay. A tattoo near the face or near his other “special” place, another sure sign.

In case you’re wondering, according to details reportedly published Thursday by the military, this is totally legit. It is based on psychological advice published by a university and everything. Tattoos are like a Rorschach test for all manner of things, apparently, such as promiscuity, addictive behavior, a low level of education and, obviously, a general desire to join the military just so you can do the bed-bump through the ranks.

Some sense has, somehow, prevailed however and there are reports some military types have already rejected the guidelines as “impractical.”

Meanwhile, Russia continues to nigh-on encourage Orthodox extremists to go out and beat gay people through legalization of yet another “homosexual propaganda” ban and a continued flirtation with instituting a similar national edict.

Malaysia’s War On Gay V-Neck Shirts

Readers may remember this story from September 2012. Malaysia’s Education Ministry decided not enough was being done to curb young people becoming [sic] gay, and so they needed to educate parents, through handy pamphlets no less, on how to spot if their kid had gone over to the Pink Side.

The advice, well, it was quite stunning. To spot a male gay look for muscles, v-neck and sleeveless light-colored clothes and a propensity for bringing big handbags to social gatherings.

For a lady gay, the advice basically added up to: not liking the company of men. Didn’t put much effort in for the lesbians, sadly.

Deputy Education Minister Mohd Puad Zarkashi, responsible for the glitteringly ignorant list above, opened his mouth again recently to declare that being LGBT is a social illness that will spread if parents don’t do anything about it. No word on the success of his Where’s Wanda anti-gay witch hunt yet, however.

Cameroon Anal Probing Prisoners

This one’s not funny. This one, in fact, is a disgusting violation of human rights that is indicative of Cameroon’s wider disregard for any kind of tolerance of the fact that LGBT identity exists.

A new report by Amnesty International outlines in horrifying detail how Cameroon is using its justice system to systematically eradicate LGBT people from the general population by means of extra judicial detentions and extraordinary prosecutions without the slightest shred of evidence of wrongdoing. Prisoners are then subjected to an anal probing for evidence of homosexual sex.

Godfrey Byaruhanga, Amnesty International’s lead Cameroon researcher and report author, is quoted as saying: “There’s no justification whatsoever for this illegal, degrading treatment. It represents a severe breach of medical ethics and has to end immediately.”

Earlier this month, two men were released from detention after a judge overturned their conviction. Their crime? Looking gay.

Cameroon’s wider human rights situation is no joke either with the report outlining that prisoners attempting to escape the terrible conditions at the prison — being given only one meal a day and being beaten with such frequency it could almost be scheduled — have simply been shot. While Cameroon’s administration has said it is taking steps to remedy prison overcrowding and the human rights abuses therein, Amnesty points out that no such steps have been evidenced.

Some things you just can’t laugh off, unfortunately.


Related Reading:

11 ‘Gay’ Animals [Slideshow]

Watch Out: Gay Wedding Songs Cause Biblical Floods

Pope Decides Gay People Aren’t Fully Developed Humans

Image credit: Thinkstock.


Grace Adams
Grace Adams5 years ago

Why should anybody care who loves whom? Eros' has bad aim with his arrows--so often who loves whom is much to the distress of both sets of parents AND too many of the neighbors. And it is not always over the assortment of sexes in who loves whom.

Marianne Good
Past Member 5 years ago

Thanks for sharing.

Nikolas Karman
Nikolas K5 years ago

What Russia does is of no concern to anyone except the Russians and I would not believe anything the American Media has to say about them, its all lies for which they are famous for.
Putin is about loving his people and his country, American presidents are about loving the Zionist and killing their people just to have more power over them, and to enslave them. Just look at the lies they tell the people to justify going to war against a country who wont accept American funny money for their oil, Iraq, Libya etc. Afghanistan because Taliban destroyed the CIA's heroin trade which props up the American cash economy.

Sue Matheson
Sue Matheson5 years ago


Annmari Lundin
Annmari Lundin5 years ago

Putin's and the moronic, ridiculous and scared Russian orthodox church, blame LGBT for falling child birth rates. Well, they can't ban vodka, can they? Alcohol related deaths in adults, children born with alcohol related defects, suicides by alcoholists, a difference in ratio of men and women, wars with the neighbors are all factors in declining birth rates of Russia. But hey, blame the gays! That will get you the votes. Banning vodka will get you a one way ticket to Gulag!

Lynn Squance
Lynn S5 years ago

With all the real problems in the world --- economies, unemployment, poverty, wars, real crime etc etc --- the amount of time spent on such BS could be better spent in tackling real problems. I guess the problem is, make sexual orientation (emotional orientation) the issue to distract from the real problems. That way, governments don't have to show their total lack of creative problem solving. Obstruct and corrupt!

The world is made up of wondrous colours. Let people be!

Pamela Tracy
Pamela Tracy5 years ago

The religious right and left are both too extreme ... same with Russia

Andy Walker
Past Member 5 years ago

Russia and the religious right- what a combo

Hazel G.
Hazel G5 years ago

I almost want to laugh. This is just ridiculous.

Aud Nordby
Aud n5 years ago