Famous WeHo Gay Bar Bans Bachelorette Parties

No more bachelorette parties for straight women until same-sex marriage is legalized. That’s the new rule at West Hollywood gay bar The Abbey, a popular spot that has lately attracted lots of hetero brides-to-be and their tipsy entourage. Owner David Cooley says the bar’s LGBT patrons are growing weary of these premarital shenanigans.

“Every Friday and Saturday night, we’re flooded with requests from straight girls in penis hats who want to ogle our go-gos, dance with the gays and celebrate their pending nuptials,” Cooley said in a press release, quoted on gay blog Unicorn Booty. “They are completely unaware that the people around them are legally prohibited from getting married.”

“The Abbey’s Bachelorette Ban comes on the heels of a ban on Gay Marriage in North Carolina and a number of other states across the south,” the press release continues. “The Abbey encourages other gay-owned and operated establishments to institute their own bans as a sign of solidarity until Marriage is legal everywhere for everyone.”

Chances are, these bachelorettes aren’t trying to rub their marriage rights in the faces of LGBT people, but celebrating your engagement at a gay bar is an odd choice when there are so many other options available. LGBT men and women go to places like The Abbey to unwind and have a good time — to get away from the culture war and homophobic politics forced onto us. A reminder of the civil rights we’re being denied is a definite buzz kill.

But maybe The Abbey and other LGBT establishments considering a bachelorette ban could compromise. Perhaps The Abbey could charge a special bachelorette admission fee and donate the proceeds to an organization fighting for marriage equality.

In the meantime, bachelorettes looking forward to a night at The Abbey will just have to go party somewhere else.

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Photo credit: Kurman Communications, Inc. (Creative Commons)


Annmari Lundin
Annmari Lundin5 years ago

Good decision! Not long ago you could be thrown out of a straight bar for dancing with someone of the same gender as yourself (still happens sometimes) so why should straights celebrate their upcoming nuptials at a place where most guests can't do the same?

Pat B.
Pat B5 years ago

Who says gay men won't dance with women? I've danced with them hundreds of times and took the same poppers and hot shots they did. I have more fun in gay bars than I've ever had in straight bars. They aren't interested in proving anything to me and I don't have to watch everything I do or say because some testosterone Romeo thinks if I'm there, I must be there for him. In a gay bar I can be as silly as I want. I can get drunk too and know that no one is going to take advantage of me. The worst they might do is take me home.

And why does a relationship between men and women have to be sexual? You're assuming the only reason women go to bars is to get laid. Most of the time I go out to drink I'm only interested in having fun. Straight men won't let me do that. I come in alone and they think it's a license to treat me like a tramp.

And in case you're wondering, I've also been in lesbian bars, but they're no where near as much fun as gay bars.

mike l.
mike lueras5 years ago

yeah that makes sense and seems fair indeed - those bachelorettes want to celebrate their last moment of freedom before slavery to Mr. Right Stuff (to Eve: "You will serve Adam and bear (HIS!) children in pain". (2nd chapter Genesis) They want to fool around with a male (submissive) who will serve THEM and who are not capable of (or maybe they could be if given a chance) impregnating them, amen? Because it is the STRAIGHTS (the ones who think they are without sin and good and perfect and who the gays want to be equal to in RESPECTABILITY - Mr. Right and Ms. Right) who are the ones who keep gays AND lesbians CONFINED to a position in society where they are the embodiment of every fear and doubt and dread that those STRAIGHTS cannot bear to see or feel or ackowledge in themselves (HOMOPHOBIA), amen? When the homo (what is that?) disappears the fear will disappear - when the fear disappears the homo (that's so gay???!!!) will disappear - the strength of fear is the thing feared and the strength of the thing feared IS the fear of that thing, amen?

Stefan Dwornik

Great comment Steven, it is unfortunate that there are not more REAL me out there( secure in who they are & their own sexuality). Ladies this man on the surface seems to be a great catch, and I don't think you'll meet him in a gay bar. This is the kind of man that respects women and is not afraid of having a compassionate heart.

Steven J.
Steven Johnson5 years ago

and by "male strip clubs" i mean clubs that are for women

Kynthia R.
Kynthia Rosgeal5 years ago

Oh yeah. Perfectly okay to widen the divide. Let's give straights something else to resent when they go to the polls. Negativity plus negativity equals negativity.

Who bar 0
Dumbasses 1

Marie W.
Marie W5 years ago

So sad women feel safe at gay bars.

Mari Garcia
Mari Garcia5 years ago

If I were at a gay bar/club and all these hetero women were at it celebrating the fact that one of them is getting married, I would start something. I would ask them and say to them, "what the hell are they doing here? We can't legally get married but we are supposed to be happy and celebrate you getting married? Go find a hetero club, I'm all for love but don't rub the rights you have, that we don't in our faces." I mean, if a hetero couple goes with their gay friend to a gay club, not one really cares, I know because I've been there done that. But this is different. Thing is, there are strip clubs with males, that aren't gay, since it seems that women like these just want to see dudes dancing around in their underwear and stuff.

Barbra D.
Barbra D.5 years ago

Way to go Abbey bar, and God bless you, Mr. Cooley, for having a caring heart. I am a heterosexual woman who always wanted to get married. I didn't find true love until I was 52. He was the one the one I'd waited for. But--from the time I was 16 until that happy day, I spent every Valentine's Day without a sweetheart; every New Year's Eve without a sweet, romantic date (I'm not making this up!). The older I got, the deeper the heartache whenever I heard a marriage brigade honking horns through the city where I lived. I was a bridesmade 7 times, every time without a date. In my late '40s I went to my 2nd cousin's wedding and the tears flooded from my eyes, not for the happy couple, but for my own aching lonliness. I had a full and happy life except for that--no one special to share it with. To see others so fortunate hurt me terribly. To go to a place and flaunt your happiness amid people who are legally forbidden to also have that happiness is not only rude, but cruel. Shame on you, you selfish brides-to-be. I feel sorry for your husbands.

Beth K.
.5 years ago

Steven, gays dance better than most straights, have a better sense of humor, and are in general much more fun if you're not looking for a relationship. In places where there are large gay populations, many women have a best gay friend. I've had several.

Another advantage is that your husband could care less, no matter how good looking the men are.

And who wants to go to a straight bar, with all the drunks hitting on you?