Rape Survivor Exposes ‘Don’t Tell’ College Culture

After you read Angie Epifano’s account of rape and “better not mention it” culture in The Amherst Student, you may think differently about Amherst College, one of those small (1,800 undergraduate) schools in New England that is consistently referred to as “prestigious” and “academically rigorous” with a long list of famous alums to match.

As Epifano’s raw and long first-person account makes clear, Amherst’s response, or lack thereof, has itself been traumatizing. When, several months after the attack, she first tells a sexual assault counselor about her being raped, she is in effect told that,

Pressing charges would be useless, he’s about to graduate, there’s not much we can do. Are you SURE it was rape? It might have just been a bad hookup…You should forgive and forget.

Epigano visits the counseling center and is “continuously told that I had to forgive him, that I was crazy for being scared on campus, and that there was nothing that could be done.” While she is told that her rape can be reported “as a statistic,” she is urged not to go through a disciplinary hearing in which she and a faculty advisor and her rapist and his faculty advisor would meet in a room together. The onus of proving the rape would entirely be on Epigano and, without physical evidence, she is told that she will not go “very far” in the process.

In other words, the rape that leads to Epifano making suicidal statements, being placed in a locked psychiatric ward and deciding to withdraw from permanently from Amherst, is treated as any other breach of discipline at the college.

“Don’t Tell, This Is a Prestigious College”

Epifano encounters blatant evidence of a “don’t tell, this is Amherst” attitude from patronizing administrators. When she tells a dean of her decision to withdraw, she is informed that she must not be “thinking clearly” as “Amherst is one of the best schools out there, it will be a transfer down unless you go to an Ivy.”

The day after the October 17 publication of Epifano’s account (over a year after she was raped), the college’s president, Carolyn “Biddy” Martin, released a statement that called for immediate action including administrative changes, a review of the conduct of administrators and an open meeting with students. This past Friday, the sexual assault counselor who advised Epifano not to report being raped resigned, says the New York Times. Martin has also noted that she is seeking to have experts in sexual assault adjudicate cases, rather than panels of professors and students.

The publication of Epifano’s account has certainly occasioned soul-searching and scrutiny in the Amherst community. The majority of rape victims do not report what has happened to them, the New York Times underscores:

In the last three years, Amherst reported an annual average of 12 “forcible sex offenses,” a broad category that includes rape, attempted rape, lesser forms of sexual contact, and possibly sexual coercion. A 2000 study by the Department of Justice, based on a survey of college students, found that for a school Amhert’s size, the expected average would be more than 100 such offenses each year, including about 18 rapes.

Circumstances are no better at other colleges and universities across the nation.

Bloomberg notes the case of a former Wesleyan University student who sued the school after she reported being assaulted at a fraternity. She received no services after the attack and no security from her assailant until he was arrested; he has pleaded guilty to assault and unlawful restraint and is serving a 15-month sentence.

“Changing the culture is much harder than changing the rules”

While President Martin’s quick response is notable, the reality is that the experiences Epifano, the Wesleyan student and who knows how many other young persons endure are the norm rather than the exception. As Colby Bruno, managing attorney at the Victim Rights Law Center in Boston who has worked with Epifano and other students, tells the New York Times, “Changing the culture is much harder than changing the rules.”

Even at this very moment, who knows how many high school seniors are hard at work on essays and applications to gain admission to schools including Amherst, Wesleyan and others where this “don’t tell” culture is embedded?

Rather than keeping her story silent as enjoined, Epifano took the bold step of telling all. I’m hopeful that other survivors of sexual violence on college and university campuses will tell their stories too, but I’m not so sure that other schools and administrators will respond quickly enough and with the compassion needed to make real changes for the sake of their current and future students.


Related Care2 Coverage

Rape Is “Something God Intended” Says GOP Senate Candidate Richard Mourdock

“Top 10 Ways to Get Away With Rape” Flier Found in Dorm Bathroom

Vice President Biden Says When it Comes to Dating Violence, “1 is 2 Many”


Photo by Daderot via Wikimedia Commons


Sarah M.
Sarah M5 years ago

Thank you for sharing this.

Annmari Lundin
Annmari L5 years ago

Pamela T. It's not the women that should have to think twice, or sit and hide inside or be wary every time they are outside. It's the men that have that responsibitity to not force themselves on others. AND it's the responsibility of the campuses to make sure everyone is safe. The administrations of colleges and universities are obliged to report all crimes committed on campus and if they try to silence wictims they should lose any federal funding.

Melania Padilla
Melania P5 years ago

Disgusting! So sick of women abuse

natalie n.
natalie n5 years ago

i've heard of these such institutions before where they rather not report a crime like that to keep up the good name of the institution. it happend in a school in indonesia too, where the headmaster said the girl brought shame to the school and had to be transferred! so its not as unbelievable as it may seem, but of course something has got to be done about it.

Winn Adams
Winn A5 years ago


MB RA5 years ago


Judie B.
Judie B5 years ago

Kudos to Angie Epifano’s courage that enabled her to come forward and shed light on this horrible crime! There are still FAR too many people out there that believe rape is a crime of passion, and not the crime of power that it is.

Amherst, take a lesson from the Penn State scandal and clean up your act, NOW!

Paul Fleming
Paul Fleming5 years ago

Rape is so disgusting how desperate are these young men they should be made ashamed of themselves any way possible and made look like the losers and cowards that they are it is so inexcusable to think especially in this day and age that rape should be ignored It is embarassing to think that there are young men out there that think it's ok to rape someone who is that person but an ignorent bully sadistic psycho a sociopath anyone with half a brain knows just how wrong forcing anyone to do something expecially something so intimate is a total disgrace to that person and they should be punished accordingly

Carol M.
carol m5 years ago


Susan Allen
SusanAWAY Allen5 years ago

Elaine A., I'm not so sure I buy that argument. There has always been drugs and alcohol on campuses. It's something else entirely. Not totally sure what that would be, but I'm just sure that's not it. I have some ideas I'd like to share, but too tired to make sense. I'll get back to you :)