12 Practical Tips For Mending A Broken Heart

By Sienna Sinclaire for YourTango.com.

You may remember the old song “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” … and it’s the damn truth! Time will heal your aching heart, but the meantime can be a mean time and breakups are a real bummer. Thankfully, there are some things you can do to speed up the process and get that breakup in your rearview mirror ASAP.

More from YourTango: How To Break Up With A Man: Don’t Be Ambiguous

While recovering from a breakup, don’t deny yourself a good cry, but once you do, move on. Build a bridge and get over it. Everyone responds to pain in their own, unique way. Some people take longer than others to move beyond a broken relationship. The depth of your pain usually depends on how long you were with your partner and how much you really cared for them. Nevertheless, you should give yourself permission to express your feelings, mourn the loss of the relationship and heal the hurt.

Dr. Daniel G. Amen, author of The Brain in Love claims, “When we love someone, they come to live in the emotional or limbic centers of our brain. They actually occupy nerve-cell pathways and physically live in the neurons and synapses of the brain. When we lose someone through a breakup our brain gets disoriented. Since the person lives in neural memory connectors, we expect to see them, hear them, feel them and touch them. When we cannot touch or talk to them as we usually do, the brain centers where they live become inflamed looking for them.”

Dr. Amen also said that over-activity in the limbic brain has been associated with depression. This is why we tend to isolate, have trouble sleeping, lose our appetites and cry when we’ve got a broken heart. Dr. Amen continued, “A deficit in endorphins, which modulate pain and pleasure pathways in the brain, also occurs which may be responsible for the physical pain we feel during a breakup.” Fascinating!

Whether you did the breaking up or you’ve just had your heart broken, there are ways to make your situation just a little easier to bear. Read on for 12 quick and easy tips that will turn your breakup into a breakthrough:

1. Drink St. Johns Wart Tea. This may sound silly, but breaking up can take a toll on the body. This rejuvenating tea helps heal the mind, body and spirit. Intense emotions surge powerful chemicals to the brain which can be physically exhausting. Anxiety and rejection cause dramatic changes to the brain’s level of dopamine, also known as the “feel good” neurotransmitter. Because breakups initiate a fight or flight response the body often reacts with depression, anger and sadness. It may also cause a jolt of adrenaline to the body, which makes people irrational and hyper-sensitive. St. John’s Wart comes in both pill and tea form and is said to return the brain to a natural state and calm anxiety.

2. Eat dark chocolate. Who doesn’t love chocolate? Of course, you should never indulge in the kind of chocolate binge eating you often see in romantic comedies. In moderation, dark chocolate has a positive effect on one’s sense of well-being and cognitive health. Chocolate contains phenylethylamine (PEA), the same chemical your brain creates when you feel like you’re falling in love. It may be hard to pronounce and difficult to spell but PEA encourages the brain to release endorphins, which is why chocolate makes you feel happier. Darker chocolate is best because it contains less calories and fat than the richer, lighter chocolates. For a limited time only, it’s okay to eat chocolate and not feel guilty but be careful as you don’t want to put on ten pounds in the process of lightening your mood.

More from YourTango: Starting Over Tips From YourTango

3. Make a date with your girlfriends. Spend the first girl’s night out taking tequila shots and dish to your girls about how he did you wrong. Get it all off your chest and have one of your friends drive your drunk ass home. Cry into your pillow until you don’t have any tears left and your forehead hurts. Do this once when you first breakup but after that, he’s off limits as a topic of conversation. The sooner you stop talking about him with your friends, the sooner he’ll become a faded memory. Hanging out with your girls after a breakup is great way to help get your mind off so-and-so and focus on your future. Soon, you will see what a fool he is and it will make you realize he did you a favor. Have fun with your friends and enjoy your life as a single gal.

4. Show your smile. Chances are no matter who did the breaking up, your ex is still following you on Facebook. Let him know you’re not sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Take pictures of you laughing and loving life when you’re out with your girlfriends. Snap one with some random guy. Plaster the sexy, fun and flirty photos of you painting the town red all over the Internet. Don’t be fooled men are very territorial, even post-breakup. It will drive him bonkers seeing that you’re not at home pining over him. Then, after flaunting a month or two of your fabulous new life, simply delete him and block him. This is the best way to move on and regain control. He is yesterday’s news.

5. No rebounds. The most important thing to remember when you’re navigating the aftermath of a breakup is not to rush into a new relationship. Many people give in to the desire to be validated by looking for approval from a new lover. This is a recipe for disaster. Date and have fun but be cautious when it comes to letting the next person into your heart. Don’t create a quasi-relationship with someone just to get over someone else. It’s not fair to the other person and it will eventually bite you in the ass (and not in the good way).

6. Go away on holiday. Plan a break from your usual routine. Take a trip to a nearby town you’ve never visited. Hop on a vacation cruise across the ocean. Go to the spa and get a massage. Whether it’s by yourself, with family or friends a change of scenery will do you some good.

7. Show yourself some love. We tend to forget we’re loveable when enduring a breakup. Take care of yourself by staying healthy. People often get sick and depressed after a breakup and eat or drink too much to numb the pain. They stop exercising, wallow in self-pity, gorge themselves with potato chips and isolate. Be sure to continue your normal self-maintenance regime. Workout, eat right and be sure to take your vitamins. Do things for yourself like take a relaxing bath, go to the gym, get your nails done, send yourself flowers or buy yourself sexy lingerie. Get off your bum and take action so you can get him off your mind. Loving yourself after a breakup and taking care of yourself is the best revenge you can plot against your ex.

8. Masturbate. Yeah, I said it. Just because you’re not having sex with your ex anymore doesn’t mean you should stop having sex with yourself. Having an orgasm rushes the brain with serotonin and dopamine. These chemicals increase mood and appetite and will make you feel fantastic. Don’t feel guilty this is a natural aspect of the human experience and pleasuring yourself is completely normal.

More from YourTango: Advice for Single Women

9. Spring clean. Clear the clutter, girlfriend! Get rid of your ex by trashing any music that reminds you of him, gifts he gave you or any other miscellaneous items around the house associated with your relationship. Donate everything to your favorite charity. You will feel better knowing you gave to a good cause and you’ll get a tax write-off! Get rid of any photos of your ex. If you can’t bring yourself to do it, have a friend do it for you. Don’t forget to de-clutter your virtual reality as well. Remove and untag photos of your ex from your social networking sites. Keep in mind, you can always stash everything in a box if you’re not ready to give up on the notion that you might get back together. Ask someone to hide the box from you. In three months if you know you’re not getting back together, toss the box and your ex out with the trash.

10. Staying friends with your ex. When your ex says “Let’s be friends,” you need to move on. There is no being friends. But there is a difference between being friends and being friendly. Being friends down the road is a possibility but only when you no longer have feelings for that person. So until that time comes forget about being friends with your ex.

11. Join a dating website. Do this ONLY when you feel it’s time. Don’t rush it. Post your profile online and see what happens. You don’t have to go out on dates right away but it will feel good to know you’re still wanted. Because you’re fabulous, guys will be hitting on you in no time and it will be a real ego boost. This will certainly help with your confidence and make you realize you are desirable. You’re a great catch! Plus, we all know the best way to get over a man is to get on top of a new one!

12. Learn from your breakup. Recognize this as an opportunity to learn a life lesson. You can transform this experience into one with a positive outcome. Take time to cater to yourself and fulfill your own needs for a while. Ask yourself some important questions to see if there are areas of your life that need attention. Why didn’t the relationship work? Do you need to learn to be more responsible, more independent or more interesting? Maybe you need to focus on your career or work to get balance in some other area of your life? Take this sacred time to find out what you really want in your next relationship but do things you enjoy in the meantime. Partake in activities that will make you feel good about yourself. Go out and get a bold new look, change your hair color or buy yourself some new clothes. Make a commitment to exercise and get healthy. Get out and meet new people by joining a social club. Focus on how you can do better at your job. This is your chance to spring clean your soul, start over, rejuvenate yourself and get ready to rock the world!

Sienna Sinclaire® – The Single Girl®: Your Naughty Lifestyle Guide

This article originally appeared on YourTango.com: From Breakup To Breakthrough: How To Mend A Broken Heart.

1341 comments

Past Member
Past Member 3 months ago

A man I have loved for over so many years left me for a lady he met some weeks ago. According to his Facebook post, he is already planning to marry because she is good looking, he distanced himself from me and blocked me from contacting him.

He forgot so soon how we suffered together and vows never to leave each other, how I helped him recover from emotional instability and stress after his divorce, how I made his son who hated him so much speak to him again and made peace with him, he forgot how I cured him from a crazy bender which almost took his life.

He made me deny all my suitors by promising to marry me. I did not know what was wrong with him or if the new lady has done some voodoo on him. I became disappointed with myself for being a victim, for allowing him pay me back in such a disgraceful manner.

I was emotionally and physically hurt when I took the matter to dr aluda love spell temple through his email,not that I did not wish him well, but I wanted Dr. aluda to search through the spiritual realms to see who he supposed to be with. I love him so much and I wondered how I can live my life without him.

After the love spell, the man that blocked me unblocked me by himself, rushed to my house, crying and begging for another chance. He deleted link to the lady and vowed to fasten our marriage.

Am honored the spell was done according to his wish, we are happy together. All thanks to Dr. aluda love spell temple.

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Hayden Harriet
Past Member 4 months ago

Hello am Hayden Harriet from the UK. Am here to appreciate a man who has brought back the most precious thing back into my life .After Hayden left me for good 2 years i was in deep pain and so confused because i truly loved him so much because he meant a lot in my life,So i was at a shop one day buying somethings when i was listening to the radio hearing a lady talking about Dr Aluda on how he has helped her in bringing back her ex,lover i was like truly this Dr Aluda has really been the talk of UK now So which then i got home and had a re think about contacting this spell caster So then i got his contact when i went to meet them at the radio station,They gave me dr Aluda cell number and email id,Then i decided to contact him and i explained to Dr Aluda how my Husband left me for good 2years,He told me not to worry that he would surly bring back Hayden into my life within 5days i was so happy when i had that i was thinking if truly what Dr Aluda is saying is true So then i said if he was a scam people would not talk good about him in an international radio station here in the UK,What baffled me the most was that before the 5days completed i already got an email from Hayden begging me,i was like are you sure this email his real,i was doubting then the next thing was a call from Hayden telling me he is in front of my door i rushed to the door i opened it and saw Hayden standing and crying for me to forgive him which i did,i forgive him and he was so happy and

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Ibiezugbe Eromosele

Dr Lucky is a very genuine spell caster and a very unique and a powerful man of wisdom Email him now for any urgent love spell done Realspellcasteronline@gmail.com

Hey guys, I'm so excited of getting my husband back after he left me and our 3 kids for another woman. After 2 years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr. Lucky can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 48 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that Luckye day, with lots of love and joy, and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before,All thanks to Dr. Lucky. him is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the in

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Ibiezugbe Eromosele

Dr Lucky is a very genuine spell caster and a very unique and a powerful man of wisdom Email him now for any urgent love spell done Realspellcasteronline@gmail.com

Hey guys, I'm so excited of getting my husband back after he left me and our 3 kids for another woman. After 2 years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr. Lucky can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 48 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that Luckye day, with lots of love and joy, and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before,All thanks to Dr. Lucky. him is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the in

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Moriah K
Moriah Kingsley7 months ago

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Richiee L.
Richiee L.7 months ago

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Past Member
Past Member 8 months ago

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Past Member
Past Member 8 months ago

I read some testimonies about a love spell caster by dr patrick on how he has helped lots of people in bringing back their ex lovers within 48hours, Sincerely I was just thinking if that was real and if this man could really help bring back my lover whom I love so much. I decided to contact him because I love my boyfriend very much and we have been apart for a couple of months I really missed him so much, I have tried all other means to get him back but couldn’t.I contacted dr patrick and he told me that my ex will come back to me in the next 48 hours,dr patrick released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. My ex is now back to me again.As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up.All thanks goes to dr patrickt for the excessive work that he has done for me by helping me to get back with my ex boyfriend. I would like to drop dr patrick mail address and hope you see this testimony and contact him if you have a lover that you really want back so badly, His mail: drpatrickspellcaster@gmil.com or drpatrickspellcaster@yahoo.com or my page https://loveblogspell.blogspot.com or you can call him on his phone :+2347052303148

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Rebecca Z
Rebecca Zachary8 months ago

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Janet J
Janet Jabout a year ago

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