Be a Perfect Lover

To the extent you know love, you become love. Love is more than an emotion, it is a force of nature and therefore must contain truth.

To some extent we all fall in love with images. We carry these images around inside ourselves, waiting until we find a match for them in the external world. Usually we are searching for someone either to reflect our own self-images or to repair them. One kind of love seeks a mirror, the other wants to add a missing piece. In both cases there is an underlying sense of need. Feeling incomplete in yourself, you try to bolster your lack through someone else.

“If you want to feel love as God feels it, you must fill all your voids, for God can love only from the state of fullness,” Merlin advised.

To be a perfect lover would mean to have no secret weakness or wound you want someone else to fix for you. Searching out your own voids is the first step, filling them with being or essence is the second. This process is usually called learning to love yourself, but we must be careful with that term. Too often it is synonymous with learning to love your self-image. In the wizard’s eyes self-image is simply ego; it is denial papering over the void of lack.

The real process of learning to love yourself would be better termed to love your Self, meaning your spirit.

Adapted from Twenty Spiritual Lessons for Creating the Life You Want by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 1995).


Luisa Barr
Luisa Bar5 years ago


Sarah M.
Sarah M5 years ago

Thank you.

Nicolas Bourel
Nicolas Bourel5 years ago

Thanks ;)

Sh C.
Sh C5 years ago

thank you

Ro H.
Ro H5 years ago


Ermes B.
Ermes B5 years ago


Victoria McFarlane
Past Member 5 years ago


Cyrille D.
Cyrille D5 years ago

Very, very true ! Loving your Self and not yourself. The distinction is essential ! Thank you for this !

rene davis
irene davis5 years ago


Nikhil D.
Nikhil Dutta5 years ago

I would say this is all individualized, everyone has their own definitions and expectations.