Do You Depend On Others?

Hurt isolates us. When you suffer, you suffer privately, no matter how close someone else may be to you. Some people react to this isolation by becoming even more alone. They nurse their grievances in silence. They gain a sense of strength from toughing it out alone.

Other people react in the opposite way, wanting to pull as many people into their suffering as possible.

Both tactics defy the first law of healing, which is that it must occur within yourself. This isnít the same as going it alone or toughing it out. Thatís the egoís interpretation, and if you look a bit deeper, youíll find that whatís really going on is resistance. The ego is saying, I donít deserve to have this happen. Iím going to sit tight until someone notices and takes pity on me.

We all have ego reactions, and they must be overcome. If you face them for what they are, temporary energies that block your true self, you will realize that calling on your true self–the soul, higher consciousness, deeper awareness–will begin to move these obstacles out of the way.

When you gain access to your true self, even a little bit, you will feel connected once again.

Of course other people can be a comfort and a help along the way. As you reconnect with yourself, you will reconnect with other people spontaneously since they are a mirror of your self.

But depending on others to solve your problems never works, because even though you may feel connected to them, you are really reaching out as one ego to another.

Healing doesnít take place at the level of ego, however, and no matter how much sympathy and agreement you are surrounded by, no matter how many people tell you that you are right, you havenít removed the blocks that keep new life from rushing in to heal you.

Adapted from: Peace Is the Way, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2005).


Zee K.
Helen Porter5 years ago

Say no only if you prefer the lie.

We were happily one until, well, just before the big bang!

r l
Ruth L5 years ago

Very beautiful and helpful ~ thank you for posting

Dot A.
Dot A5 years ago

true True TRUE!
Certainly, I am so grateful for the spiritual guidance that aids in this healing, yet, the spirit seeks it's own resolution, solution, and evolution, = Healing*
I am most appreciative of the select few friends who embrace this process, and allow it to unfold, for the BETTER~

rene davis
irene davis5 years ago

Thanks for the info.

Heidi Aubrey
Heidi Aubrey5 years ago

I do think there is healing power in groups with similar grief/issues. One can often find valuable insight into one's own ability to deal by hearing how others are dealing with the same. There is power when a group comes together with similar issues, to heal.

Richard T.
Richard T5 years ago


Lindsay P.
Lindsay Partin5 years ago

I spent so much time after both my parents died (withing a year of each other) going it alone I ended up depressed. Since then I have gotten treatement and I am much better. I have also met wonderful supportive friends and they have helped me through it. I still grieve, especially this time of year, but I am back to living my life. I realize that everything happens for a reason, and although I still love my parents dearly if they hadn't have passed away some of the things that have happened since (many of them good) may never have happened.

Nils Lunde
PlsNoMessage se5 years ago


Nils Lunde
PlsNoMessage se5 years ago


Elena T.
Elena Poensgen5 years ago

Thank you :)