How The Right Underwear Can Change Your Sex Life

By Ms. Kristina Marchant for

It’s no secret that couples have bedtime rituals that help strengthen their bonds and their sex lives. Going to bed at the same time, for instance, not only shows commitment to the partnership, but it also helps a couple sync up on a more intimate level. Pillow talk and gentle caresses can pave the way for better communication and respect to develop in a relationship.

But what about your budoir attire? Think of bedtime as a “date” with your partner, and change your whole approach to sleepwear. Throw away the old, ratty sweats (you know the ones) and slip into something sensual that shows your partner just how how much you love cuddling under the covers together.

More from YourTango: How To Choose Lingerie That Men Love

Celebrate Your Curves

But being sexy isn’t just about being a smoldering bedroom vixen ripped from the pages of a Victoria’s Secret catalog. It’s about sensuality and a healthy desire to connect on a physical level. Not every woman is a size 6 … or even a size 10. And that’s okay. You don’t have to be as fit as an athlete or as slender as a runway model to be attractive to your partner. Instead, you need to be comfortable and relaxed in your own skin. And one of the best tricks for accentuating your figure is to drape it the silkiest, most sensual sleepwear you can get your hands on.

Choose The Right Number (For You, Not Just Your Partner!)

Rule number one: You don’t need to go out and buy something horribly uncomfortable (itchy lace and bone bindings come to mind) to turn your partner on. Quite the contrary, in fact. Make sure that whatever sleepwear you choose isn’t just silky, but makes you feel “silky” in it.

More from YourTango: What Does Your Lingerie Color Say About You?

What do I mean by that?

Well, sensual sleepwear isn’t about your partner and what will turn them on. That’s right: it’s about you and what means you feel buttery smooth, silky and sexy, inside and out. Looking sexy in your lingerie has as much to do with confidence — how you feel in your unmentionables — as it does with fit and style. If you feel great in a slinky nightie or a sheer bra and panties, your partner will feel great looking at you in it. The confidence will translate.

So dress for bedtime in something that relaxes you. Pick natural, breathable materials, like silk and cotton; these will keep you warm in the winter and cool in the summer. Pick something soft — tactile pleasure is arousing. Your partner will want to feel the slopes and curves of your figure lingering underneath that thin fabric. Not into nighties? Consider a teddy or a pair of boy shorts made from eco-friendly fibers, which tend to be softest. If chemises, teddies, sexy nighties or any type of lingerie is not your thing, throw on one of your partner’s old, oversized work shirts — they’ll love seeing you in their clothes.

More from YourTango: Your Underwear Can Dictate Your Dating Life

Bare Skin: The Sexiest Of All Sleepwear

Of course, you can always forget the clothes all together.

Here’s a little secret I’ll share with you. I actually have a rule in my house: no clothes in the bed. My partner and I love to sleep in the buff together. I don’t have to worry about getting chilly because the body heat keeps me warm, and being naked together in the moments before we fall asleep allows us to be even more vulnerable with each other. When the clothes come off, so do the hard edges of our relationship. We’re able to connect on a more loving, caring and affectionate level.

Snuggling and sleeping naked together is a beautiful way to build the emotional and physical intimacy in your connection. Your exposed, fleshy curves are the ultimate sensual sleepwear.

This article originally appeared on How The Right Panties Can Change Your Life.


Alexandra Bruno
Alexandra Bruno4 years ago


Shanti S.
S S4 years ago

Thank you.

Jamie Clemons
Jamie Clemons4 years ago


Dimitris Dallis
Past Member 4 years ago

Thank you very much Kristina. Nice article. :)

ER C4 years ago

Still getting chuckles out of these articles.

4:42 am eastern time,

I got sucked into the CARE2 vacuum & MUST.......BREAK........ FREE............. BEFORE........... IT'S TOO.................... LATE !


Mary T.
Mary T4 years ago

thank you for the article...maybe its time to go shopping

Karen Foley
Karen P4 years ago

Sleeping in the nude is the way to go. Can't understand why people wear jim jams - wearing clothes all day long, it feels great to be 'buck nekkid'.

Shell S.
Past Member 4 years ago

I have to agree with the above, wear what makes YOU feel sexy. Geez, for years, I did the panties that give you a wedgie, the corset where you can barely breath, the thigh high stockings that cut your leg circulation off, the push up bra where I felt my boobs would actually fall out. So, after shoving, straightening, pulling up, pulling out, not being able to breathe, no...I don't feel sexy. Also, I have more of an athletic figure, so I kind of always felt like a guy in drag with my muscles and all that real feminine stuff meant more for curvy women. Same with really short skirts and heels. I don't feel comfortable at all. Once I started just being me, dressing more with long flowing skirts, shirts that showed off my muscles in a more feminine way, wearing sandals with no heals, and wearing underwear where I don't have to pull at constantly, I do feel comfortable and sexy. I get way more responses from men that way too. I think the trick really is confidence, not necessarily what you wear or look like.

ER C4 years ago


Lone Wolf
Lone W4 years ago

Sleeping naked together is great, but nice lingerie never hurt at the start of the night.