How to Handle Your Emotions in a Healthy Way

Sometimes emotions can be overwhelming. Your chest tightens. You lose your breath. Your face flushes with red heat. Maybe even your palms get sweaty. These feelings are uncomfortable, and itís embarrassing if youíre with other people or someone significant. The last thing you want is to seem uncool or emotional (as though it were a bad thing).

Whatís bad is suppressing your emotions to the point of disconnecting yourself from the heart. When you lose touch with what and how you feel, you lose touch with what makes life so beautiful and what makes you human.

Humans are meant to feel. We are sensuous creatures. It can be easy to feel good, but feeling bad is part of it too. The depth at which you allow yourself to feel the “bad stuff” corresponds to the heights at which youíre able to feel the “good stuff.”

Thereís a healthy way to be in relationship with†your more difficult emotions rather than giving them the cold shoulder. What if you viewed your emotions as messengers? Messengers carrying the answer to a more fulfilling life.

Healthy Ways to to Handle Your Emotions

If you want to develop a healthy relationship with all your feelings and emotions, then implement these four steps steps on a regular basis. Make it your new practice. The keyword being practice: something you do over and over again to get better over time. No need to be perfect. Just do your best.

1) Become Aware

First things first, whatís going on? Creating awareness around a tense or triggering situation can make a world of difference in and of itself.

When you have the guts to step back and simply say, “Thereís something here,” you create the opportunity for transformation. Itís only in this place of awareness that youíre able to make a new choice: suppress or express.

2) Get Into Your Feeling and Emotion

Now that youíre aware, youíve got to really get in there and feel the emotion. Drop into your body. Feel your head, chest, belly, arms and legs. Where does the feeling reside? Is it a tightness in your chest? A ball of fury in your belly? A heat rising from your head?

What do you feel? Be specific. Use feeling words not thinking words. Like, “I feel anger which feels like heat rising from my head.” Or, “I feel sadness which feels like tension squeezing my lungs and chest.”

3) Explore

Dropping into your feelings sets you up to explore and listen for the message. Now is the time to break out your journal, whether thatís with paper and pen or on the computer. From this feeling, write. Write what you discovered in step two: the specific feeling.

Then write about all the thoughts associated with the feeling. Dive into the feeling to explore the story that your mind and body weaves about the feeling. Write and write as though itís an onion and you are peeling off the layers. Each new thought or expression that rises from the feeling is another layer. Dive deep into the feeling, and express whatever needs to be expressed.

Donít hold back. Are you angry at someone in particular? Do you blame someone? Be petty. Be negative. Donít spiritualize anything or dampen yourself. Let yourself be on fire. Itís in the heart of this flame where true transformation occurs. In the center of your deep expression youíll discover the truth – the message.

4) Identify Your Desire, Want, or Need

It may take awhile to dive into the core of your feeling. Give yourself the time and space to do so. Keep going until you feel the emotion begin to dissolve and your heart open. As that space is created, ask yourself, “What do I desire, want or need?”

Your heart may encourage you to take certain actions, like speak with the person at the center of your rage, be witnessed in your grief or nothing at all. Maybe the self-expression was enough.

Whatever it is, this is your point of power. Youíve heard your heart completely and given yourself space to create from a new place.

Final Thoughts

Handling your emotions and feelings in a healthy way is a privilege and journey that not everyone undertakes. Sometimes itís easy, and sometimes itís horrendously difficult. But for those who are willing to let their hearts feel, emote, and break open are those who are willing to be and express their humanity fully. Your emotions and feelings have great value to offer should you be willing to accept it.

Image via Thinkstock

40 comments

Shirley P
Shirley Plowman3 months ago

THANK YOU, SUCH ARTICLES ARE HELPFUL.

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Clare O'Beara
Clare O4 months ago

go for a walk, think it through calmly

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Clare O'Beara
Clare O4 months ago

if you are angry, why? Because you are jealous? because you were caught out? because someone corrected you when you had not done the work? maybe it is your fault.

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Clare O'Beara
Clare O4 months ago

you would want to be fairly stupid not to recognise your emotions and fairly dishonest with yourself not to understand them.

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Clare O'Beara
Clare O4 months ago

th

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Lisa M
Lisa M4 months ago

Noted.

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Lisa M
Lisa M4 months ago

Noted.

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Winn A
Winn A4 months ago

Noted

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Lesa D
Lesa D4 months ago

thank you Paula...

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Lesa D
Lesa D4 months ago

thank you Paula...

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