Overcoming Underdreaming: Part 1

I got the most adorable email from one of my Get Out Of Your Own Way students the other day, and I just had to share it with you.

I just read my Daily Flame email today and at the bottom, you’ve got a blurb promoting Barbara Stanny’s Overcoming Underearning: A Five-Step Plan To A Richer Life.

When I first glanced at it, I read it as Overcoming Underdreaming… interesting :) I just thought I’d share this with you because it seemed so fitting.

Interesting, indeed!  Her email inspired me to write a post for those who want to overcome underdreaming!

Another student, who is trying to decide where in the world she wants to settle down, agreed. “Yeah, I have the same problem. Why can’t I dream of having three home bases?”

Because so many women tend to underdream, I included a whole module in the Get Out Of Your Own Way e-course about how to dream big, but this has brought up some angst from students who say they’re having a hard time dreaming big.

Here’s an excerpt from that module.

7 Barriers That Prevent You From Dreaming Big

  1. You lack practice at dreaming big. Dreaming big is a muscle that must get exercised in order to function properly. If you’ve never let yourself charge, unthrottled, into the fully formed fantasies of your imagination, you’ll wind up fidgeting and coming up empty when you’re invited to dream big.
  2. You lack confidence. You don’t trust your ability to create the life you desire, so you protect yourself by not dreaming.
  3. You’re too practical. You’ve lost your ability to engage in child-like fantasies, a skill we all master as kids and often lose as adults.
  4. You’ve internalized the criticisms of others. If you’re surrounded by people who cut you down, dismiss you, and lack faith in you, it’s no wonder your dreaming big muscle is weak.
  5. You don’t believe you deserve to have your real dreams come true. If you hold limiting beliefs about your worth and value, you will find it very hard to dream big.
  6. You fear failure or the sting of disappointment. If you dream big, you risk having your real dreams fizzle. If your real dreams fizzle, you may get bummed out. So you may avoid dreaming big just to protect yourself from disappointment.
  7. You worry about what everybody will think. If you dream big — and then you tell everyone, perhaps they’ll shoot you down. They’ll make fun of you. They’ll dismiss your real dreams. They’ll tell you you’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough, driven enough. Ouch. No wonder you don’t dream big.

One student said:

I’m afraid to dream big, because what if my dream doesn’t come true? Will I live the rest of my life feeling disappointed?

Recognizing how much resistance people have to dreaming big, I’m inspired to start a whole series about Overcoming Underdreaming!

So I’ll be offering you one tip on how to overcome each of these seven barriers in each post. So here’s your Dreaming Big tip for today from the Get Out Of Your Own Way e-course.

Dreaming Big 1: You lack practice at dreaming big.
Practice makes perfect, baby! The more you dream, the easier it gets. The more you exercise this muscle, the stronger you get. And the more you practice dreaming big, the more you’ll notice that you’re ramping up your real dreams. Get greedy. Pull out all the stops. Give yourself permission to want whatever the hell you want.

Once you start dreaming, find a partner. Speak your dreams out loud. Invite your partner to do the same. Having your dreams witnessed and bearing witness to someone else’s dream is very powerful. If you’re not sure who to choose as your partner, join the Dreaming Big posse in the Owning Pink Posse, where you can meet others who are committed to dreaming big. Send a message to the group, telling them you’d love to find a Dreaming Big partner, and someone will raise their hand and volunteer to skip-to-my-lou off into the sunset with you.

So go now! Start practicing! And for more tips on how to practice dreaming big, sign up for the Get Out Of Your Own Way e-course and join the other students who are skyrocketing to the stratosphere with me!

Encouraging you to practice dreaming big,


Lissa Rankin, MD: Founder of OwningPink.comPink Medicine Woman coach, motivational speaker, and author of What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend and Encaustic Art: The Complete Guide To Creating Fine Art With Wax.

Learn more about Lissa Rankin here.



jane richmond
jane richmond6 years ago


Camila K.
Kamila A6 years ago

I love that we are the ones to decide how much joy we want

Kristine Huff
Kristine H6 years ago

This artlicle reinforces my determination in life. After my husband passed away I was pretty much left alone to sort life out. I must say at 47 years of age, I totally changed my outlook. I became bold, daring and didn't care what people said. I started a new career, made a business venture and realized the confidence I had in myself. It was a dream of proving that I could do it. With positive thoughts and the Law of Attraction I have become successful, at least in my eyes-guess that is all that counts!

Sonny Honrado
Sonny Honrado6 years ago

Thanks for the information.

heather g.
heather g6 years ago

Thank you for the enjoyable article. I tend to tell people beforehand what I plan to do and when I've achieved my goal (or my dream has come true) some people, being negative, have openly said "She'll never do that". By that time, I've already done it. It takes perseverance and a lot of work to make many dreams come true. By the same token, some of my most persistent wishes and some of my strongest desires or dreams have alluded me in my life. Hope is still very much alive, because tomorrow could bring the change I pursue ....

Kimberly S.
Kimberly Smith6 years ago

I feel like I've spent my whole life dreaming about things that people around think are crazy. lol

Ernie Miller
william Miller6 years ago

For thouse of you that dont dream big. GO FOR IT! so what if the dream dont come tru at least you had it and tried. If it does come true WoHoo it came true you didnt dream big enough. Dont listen to negitivity, if your friends put you down for dreaming they are really just holding you back. look for people that will encourage you and inspire you to try harder and do more. SO what if you fail at a dream its no big deal it was a dream they all dont come true but when they do hold on and enjoy the ride. My momma always told me you can do anything you want, it may take a while to learn or get every thing it takes to make it happen but if you try you can do it. But only if you try, giving up before you try will never make it happen. Open your eyes spread your wilgs and do it. I dare ya!

Holly D.
Holly D6 years ago

Great article, thank you!

Bernadette P.
berny p6 years ago

Interesting article BUT I dont dream...probably do but dont remenber them...but then my life has been a happy one so that might be the teason...

Either way...I will not loose sleep over it....he...he...

Geetha Subramaniam

Interesting. Thanks for the post.