Practicing Non-Attachment

To be unattached means that you are free from outside influences that overshadow your real self. This lesson isn’t one our culture teaches us. Modern people place a high value on being committed, excited, passionate, deeply involved, and so forth, and they fail to realize that these qualities are not the opposite of non-attachment. To be committed to a relationship, for example, ultimately means to have enough love and understanding to let the other person be who he or she wants to be.

I’ve found that moments of non-attachment are characterized by the following: I am present with my body; my breathing becomes very refined, approaching stillness; mental activity has calmed down; I feel no threat–there is a certainty of belonging; I perceive my inner world as an open space with no boundaries–awareness extends in all directions rather than being focused on specific thoughts; self-acceptance flows out into the environment. Things “out there” seem intimate to me, an extension of myself.

This experience of unity is also my working definition of love. Do not confuse pleasure with love. There are many things that give pleasure, such as watching television, with very little love in them. Love certainly brings pleasure, but in a more profound way.

Adapted from The Essential Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2007).


Ina d.
Ina d6 years ago

It is something I will work on the coming year. I find meditation helps.
Thanks for another great article.

Angela N.
Angela N6 years ago


Danuta Watola
Danuta W6 years ago

Interesting article! Thanks!

John H.
John H.6 years ago

My name is John.
In my world love is an action, not an emotion. My working definition of love is, "Having the highest regard for the welbeing of another person expecting nothing in return."

I practice unconditional love in my daily life which is often spent in the company of somewhat rough people. Yet I find it possible to love the people around me as long as I do not require quid-pro-quo. I do not have to like everyone I only have to love them in the sense of my working definition. However I find that the more I practice unconditional love the more I tend to "like" others.

Meg Graham
Meg G6 years ago

I am with you Luci G I haven't mastered this yet but I am learning ;-)

Lucie G.
Lucie G6 years ago

such a hard lesson to learn . I have not mastered it yet

Samantha Shira
Samantha Shira6 years ago

thanks for sharing.

Jewels S.
Jewels S8 years ago

It is a hard lesson to learn but brings peace when mastered

Faisal Mushtaq
Faisal Mushtaq8 years ago

Its a gr8 experience. We came alone and will go alone...

Rita M.
Rita M8 years ago

To be detached is to be free - nothing has any power over you. You most certainly can be in a loving relationship and remain detached i.e. you get to be who you are, you don't depend on the other for happiness, security . . . It's a relationship of abundance because no one needs anything and it blossoms. The word "detachment" provokes a negative connotation because that is how most people have used it in their lives. This is about your level of awareness - no one can take it away from you.