Sex on the First Date?

So you’re going through your first date rituals. Paying special attention to where you shave. Going for the sexy bra, not the functional bra. Picking out clothes that make you feel good and look hot, but not like you’re trying to look hot. Stashing some breath mints in your purse.

Suddenly you stop and wonder: What if we hook up tonight?

Now, hooking up can mean a lot of different things, but in this case, we’re talking about having sex. Turns out that 29% of Americans have had sex on the first date. If you’re dating and trying to decide if you should do it that soon, here are a couple ways to look at it. (And prepare for it.)

Doing it.

Maybe you’ve known each other a long time, and your mutual trust, friendship and attraction have lead to a first date. Or you’re absolutely sure that this is the right guy, right now. If you’re both cool with having sex—and can handle the sudden intimacy—then that’s a beautiful, exciting thing.

Protection will be very important. Seriously. When things are so new and moving so fast, the health history talk can get skipped. Be smart and guard yourself against pregnancy and STIs.

Words of caution: Sex on the first date can lead to more dates, a one-night stand, friendship or even marriage. Who knows. You could fall in love or end up breaking it off. It could be orgasmic and awesome or totally awkward. You could feel great after or a little empty. We’re not trying to burst your bubble here—we’re just trying to say that sex on the first date can result in any number of scenarios, from hot to cold. Be prepared. Own your choice. If you do it, don’t regret it. And learn about yourself from the experience.

Waiting to do it.

Is your first date too soon for sex? There’s a lot to be said for letting your lust build up over a few dates. Like everything about sex, it’s important to do what feels right to you. There are no rules. There’s only your comfort zone. Honor it. You could wait three dates or 33. If he’s a good guy, your date won’t rush you.

Words of caution: Anticipation can lead to very hot sex. (Have your birth control ready!) It can also create tons of pressure or performance anxiety. If you do wait, try not to over-think, over-plan, over-analyze, or over-worry about it. Instead, when you know you’re both ready to have sex, have a date and get really into the moment. Focus on how you feel with him. How your attraction makes you feel electric. How you could kiss him on and on. And let things flow. Let it happen. Let yourself enjoy what you’ve waited for.

Research Finds Sex Can Still Feel Good With Condoms
4 STI Myths We Keep Believing
Do Kegel Exercises for Better Sex

Originally published on


Viviane K.
Past Member 4 years ago

Since American goes on date with several different persons at the same time, maybe it is best to wait ?

James Travers
James Travers4 years ago

Ya know, people really do make too big an issue about stuff like this. If it feels right, and you are both attracted to each other, enjoy.

Kathy Perez
Kathy Johnson4 years ago

to each their own. either way sex can be an amazing, beautiful thing. treat is as such

Leigh R.
Lisa S4 years ago

if your old enough to know you are attracted to each other and are careful, whats wrong with 2 people enjoying a wonderful thing together...when your young you get called a "slut" if you do, when your getting older they say" go one girl get while you can" as they say folks " Go on get it while you can! " lmao...its lovely...i could do with some

Stanley R.
Stanley R4 years ago

Always honor your lady with sex on the first date, if she consents.

Franck Rio
Past Member 4 years ago


Lone Wolf
Lone W4 years ago

Women should decide when they are ready to have sex with a particular guy. But they also should remember to take into account the guy's feelings and readiness to have sex, do not rush him either. The best is when both of you are ready and anxious to have sex with each other.

Gysele van Santen

it's 2013, do what you do. besides, it's not what you do it's how you do it. be safe. i'm not going to sit here & call someone a slut for having sex on the first date. it's really not my business.

Elena T.
Elena Poensgen4 years ago

Thank you :)

Deborah W.
Deborah W4 years ago

Slippery slope if that's the ruler by which you measure what's important. No wonder society has become so shallow ... hook-up first, get-to-know-you-later ... or not, also acceptable. Like to think I have more value than that.