Should We Be Congratulating People When They Get Engaged?

By and large, the moment Iíve shared on social media that has received the most interaction from friends and family was my engagement announcement. My posts about finishing grad school, passing challenging licensure tests, adopting a new puppy and landing my dream job all received some congratulatory comments, but nothing near the magnitude of me announcing that Iíll soon be someoneís wife.

Many people can relate to this curious phenomenon, which leaves people asking ďWhy is getting married seen as more of an accomplishment than other things?Ē Itís a valid question.

Working your ass off through school, reaching a career milestone, completing a difficult project, overcoming an enduring physical illness and making big strides toward recovery with mental illness are all worthy of recognition – but, in comparison, they get lost in the fold.

Some people use comedy to poke fun at this current state of affairs, like the people who hold photo shoots with their medical degrees, job offers†and even host a ďgender revealĒ shoot where the big reveal is that theyíve adopted a puppy.

Here are some reasons why we should re-examine this custom:

1. Single-shaming

The media already tend to paint single people (especially women) as desperate, damaged goods and ravenous in finding a mate. The plot of many rom coms is a woman who FINALLY reaches the finish line that, apparently, all women are expected to cross: marriage.

The idea that a person isnít whole until they join another in matrimony is a little ridiculous, isnít it? It reinforces the idea that people who are single (including those who are single by choice), those who are divorced, as well as those who prefer serial monogamy or polyamory, or just donít like the idea of marriage are somehow not whole or worthy.

2. Reinforces outdated values

Letís face it: a lot of this stuff is pretty old-fashioned. And we cannot move forward from outdated customs that arenít always useful if we donít challenge how we perceive them. People still have value if they donít become wives, husbands, breadwinners or homemakers.

3. Overshadows other life accomplishments

Lavishing praise and congratulations upon those who get engaged or married often means that same enthusiasm isnít shared when people reach other important milestones. There are tons of accomplishments that are worthy, not just deciding to marry another person. Once we start to spread out our congratulatory comments, we can start to see real progress in acknowledging the broader humanity in all of us.

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107 comments

Kathy O
Kathy Osborn1 days ago

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Janis K
Janis K2 months ago

Thanks for sharing.

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Leo C
Leo Custer3 months ago

Thank you for sharing!

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Bill Eagle
Bill Eagle3 months ago

I think we should congratulate and help celebrate what should be a very joyful occasion.

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Dubravka T
Dubravka T3 months ago

I'll always congrate to engage ones. How will they live on together is completely to them

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Past Member
Past Member 3 months ago

This is my story, a true life story on how I survived an abusive husband(s). Please read and share.

Leaving an abusive marriage was life threatening, I was scared of the post-divorce lifestyle. I felt starting afresh with another man seems impossible at my age because my husband(s) always downplays my emotions making me feel like a worthless woman. Yes, I was married thrice.

I was betrayed by a friend, cheated upon by husband(s), beaten, jailed but I never gave up, I chose to ride or die with my current 5-year-old marriage because of love, our children and our shared finance. Though I love my husband to a fault and believed I can change his mindset through spiritual means before we go our separate ways.

After domestic abuse and emotional conflicts comes spiritual father, Dr. Wakina with redemption and restoration via dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail.com with the spell that ended my abusive circle. I also escaped social pressure.

I wasn’t wrong afterall sticking to my husband and changing our lifestyle through spiritual doctors. Believe me, we’re living our dream lifestyle for over 5-months with much love and respect for each other.

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Roslyn McBride
Roslyn McBride3 months ago

I think congrats given to a newly engaged person, are important as it contributes to their happiness.

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natasha p
Past Member 3 months ago

I could care less who gets engaged lol

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Denise D
Denise D3 months ago

Wow. I honestly never thought there could be such negative connotations to getting engaged. I will continue to congratulate friends and family when they get engaged, however.

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Richard B
Richard B4 months ago

Thank you

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