How Do You Choose Between a Man and Cat?

Every Thursday on Catster, singer/songwriter and cat lady extraordinaire Sarah Donner answers a question from readers about their cat issues — in song. This is one such question and answer. If Care2 readers have a question for Sarah, please leave them in the comments below and you might be featured in an upcoming edition of Ask a Cat Lady with Sarah Donner.

Some sample questions include: “Is it OK to trim my cat’s curly whiskers?“, “Can my cat get sunburned?” and “Can my pregnant cat have catnip?

Catster reader Blu asks: ďMy boyfriend has been staying with me. My cat, Vixen, whom I’ve had for eight years, isn’t adjusting very well. She hisses, growls, and lunges at him nonstop. He wants me to get rid of her by taking her to a shelter and doesn’t understand my attachment to her. Do you have any advice for me?”

Sarah Says: When I received this e-mail, my heart broke into little kibble pieces. Iím not a therapist, so please take this with a grain of litter. Now, I donít know everyoneís side of the story or how serious this relationship is, so Iím making a few assumptions here.

Blu, it doesnít sound like your boyfriend has made much of an effort to win your Vixenís trust. It takes a lot of time to win the trust of a leery cat, and Iíd recommend that your boyfriend try giving her special treats or catnip. Take small steps toward gaining her tolerance. Itís great if Vixen can hang out with your man in the same room without being upset. It doesnít sound like your boyfriendís safety is threatened. It does sound like his ego is a little bruised because of the special bond you have with your kitty. Some people just donít jell with cats, and you canít force it.

Even if heís not a cat person, your boyfriend needs to learn to live with your kitty if he values your relationship. An ultimatum is manipulative and unkind, in my opinion. You should sit down and make it very clear how much you love Vixen and that she is part of your family.

If your boyfriend still insists on getting rid of the cat, I say itís time to rethink who you want to spend your time with. Who knows — your kitty might be trying to tell you something about this guy.

Catster Editor’s Note: When we first posted this video on Catster, the response was pretty wild — check out the comments over here. Most readers were staunchly pro-cat as opposed to pro-man.

And see more of Sarah’s Ask a Cat Lady songs here.

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Helen C.
Helen Cabout a year ago

He has got to go... he may mistreat your kitty when your not looking.
some men care morons!!!

Jo S.
Jo S1 years ago

Thank you.

Carol Johnson
Carol Johnson3 years ago


Alvin King
Alvin King3 years ago


Amanda S.
Amanda S4 years ago

The cat was there first, the man is the invader. I definitely agree, if the cat and the man just can't make nice then he needs to hit the road.
I have a cat that just didn't care for my boyfriend. He'd purposely torment the guy by constantly asking him to let him in and out the front door (the record was 20 times in one hour while the guy tried to sleep!), he'd pee on the guys work clothes, and sleep on top of his head! I thought it was hilarious watching My senior, easygoing Maine Coon own that guy like a boss!
Complaints were futile because My cat is family and has seniority.

.4 years ago

please just dump him,thank you for sharing

Winn Adams
Winn A4 years ago

OMG this is a no brainer. If anyone doesn't like your pets they need to go! It doesn't matter if they are male or female.

Debbi Ryan
Deb Ryan4 years ago

OMG! Dump him now!!

Paul Girardin
Paul Girardin4 years ago

If it was up to me, I'd choose the cat!

Sonia Minwer-Barakat Requ
Sonia M5 years ago

The cat of course.I've got two cats,and they arrived first.No boyfriend in this moment, if he cames,he'll adjust or go