These 5 Things Make a Successful Relationship

Falling in love feels so good. Those first weeks and months are heady ones. Your brain is flooded with adrenaline and the feel good hormones dopamine and serotonin. The initial rush soon wears off, but thatís okay because youíre in love.

Youíve found your human, life is great. Suddenly you have a plus one, someone to have breakfast with and a warm body to snuggle up to at night. Sounds magical, right? Unfortunately, love alone isnít enough to sustain your relationship.

For it to go the distance youíre going to need more than one of Cupidís arrows in your arsenal. Itís hard work, make no mistake. But itís also fun and rewarding, not to mention totally worth it. Okay, so what makes a successful relationship?

BE TOGETHER FOR THE RIGHT REASONS

Maybe youíre choosing to spend the rest of your life with this person. If so, make sure theyíre someone you want to be with once the honeymoon phase has worn off. You can get divorced if things donít work out, but itís easier (and cheaper) to get hitched for the right reasons.

They might be easy on the eye and something else in the sack, but do they make you laugh? Can you have a conversation with them? Will they be there for you when things get rough? Do you†share similar values and life goals. Thereís no chance of a happy ending when you want a relationship for all the wrong reasons.

TALK THROUGH THE DETAILS

Get into the habit of talking through the details before you get married. Itís not enough to agree that you both want kids. What if you only want one child and heís imagining his own soccer team? What about education, religion and lifestyle habits?

There are plenty of other life details to talk about, too. From†finances and feelings to family and friends, you need to talk about everything. It may seem extreme, but itíll help you avoid those unpleasant ĎI didnít know that about youí curve balls.

If talking isnít your thing (or your partnerís), then find a way to improve communication in your relationship. Whether itís reading a book, seeing a therapist or asking Google, do what it takes to get better at it.†Remember, a big part of communicating well means learning how†to be†a better listener, too.

CHECK YOUR EXPECTATIONS AT THE DOOR

If youíre together for the right reasons and make a habit of talking through the details, there should be no need for expectations. But letís say one or two sneak in uninvited. The danger of expectations is that they can quickly lead to perpetual bickering.

As Tony Robins says, ďWhen our focus is squared center on our differences in expectations, rather than our appreciation for the things the other person does ‘right,’ conflict is always inevitable.Ē

When you find yourself expecting certain things from your partner, turn your attention to the things you love and appreciate about them instead. Itís hard to stay mad at someone when youíre appreciating them. When you look again your expectations will be gone.

BUILD A SOLID FOUNDATION OF TRUST

Trust in a relationship isnít just about the big stuff, like not having an extramarital affair, for example. While thatís obviously important, itís actually the small day-to-day encounters that create a solid foundation for your relationship.

If itís your turn to do the dishes, do them. If itís your night to make dinner, cook with gusto. If you say youíll be home at a certain time and youíre going to be late, call. Proving yourself to be a reliable human in these seemingly unimportant instances matters.

Avoid making promises you canít keep, don’t judge, be respectful, forgiving and supportive and communicate openly and honestly. Itís all about consistency and being a better human. Be the kind of person who looks for ways to build trust in a relationship.

DONíT LOSE SIGHT OF YOURSELF

When you fall in love itís easy to lose sight of yourself. Youíve met your person and youíre positively giddy with all the future holds for you as a couple. But you need to keep in mind that your person fell in love with you the individual.

If you start putting the relationship ahead of your own needs and wants pretty soon that individual will fade away. You donít want to wake up five or ten years into the marriage not knowing who you are.

Make a point of taking time for you on a regular basis. Indulge in relationship sabbaticals, go on artist dates, hang out with your friends and have your own hobbies and interests.†Your relationship will thrive when you have a life of your own.

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68 comments

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John B
John B3 months ago

Thanks for sharing.

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Paulo R
Paulo R3 months ago

ty

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Paulo R
Paulo R3 months ago

ty

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Jan S
Jan S3 months ago

thanks

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Jerome S
Jerome S3 months ago

thanks

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Jerome S
Jerome S3 months ago

thanks

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Jenny G
Jenny G3 months ago

Thank you for the reminder to appreciate! "When you find yourself expecting certain things from your partner, turn your attention to the things you love and appreciate about them instead. It’s hard to stay mad at someone when you’re appreciating them. When you look again your expectations will be gone."

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Jerome S
Jerome S3 months ago

thanks

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Jerome S
Jerome S3 months ago

thanks

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