They Say I’m Overwhelming!

“So, what ARE we looking for in parameters with partnerships (personal and professional)? This really is important to me. And how do we change/affect the partnerships we are already in? I’ve been told repeatedly that I am ‘overwhelming’ so I need guidelines for behavior here!” – A member of one of my small groups
If you’re a Wild One who’s ever been told that you are “overwhelming” or “intense” or “scary” or fill in the blank, then this is for you…

You may be “overwhelming” or whatever to other people, specifically, in all of the ways that you probably already know about, the things that I’ve gone to great lengths to encourage you to celebrate being — high achieving, uber-productive, satellite thinker, creative, sexy, WHATEVER. This is not to be confused with you saying, “I AM overwhelming” or me saying that “You ARE overwhelming.”

I’m clarifying that other people may feel overwhelmed by working with someone of your particularly WILD nature.

(People are sometimes overwhelmed by working with me.)

This is about them, not you. It is simply their reaction to you.

Again, them, not you.

Because of this, you want people around you who are strong, really strong, like “million pounds of steel sunk firmly into the ocean floor so the boat can’t move” strong. This way, they will allow you to be you, without being sucked into the tornado of awesomeness that you are. They can be awesomely them and you can be awesomely you. And the rest of the world can just sit around and wonder WTF?

Can you tell I’m a little protective here? It’s because I love the Wildflowers and I’m so done with people telling you that you’re broken just because you’re not like the others.

Wildflower Wisdom: You are not a weed. You’re just a Wildflower planted in a rose garden.

Boom. Any questions?


Jean Wall
Jean Wall5 years ago


Lindsey B.
Lindsey B5 years ago


Lindsey B.
Lindsey B5 years ago

Leslie R.: I understand! I live in Costa caricature and being an American woman makes it almost impossible for me to fit the expectations of the people I live around. Even loading my own hay into yhr truck gets me a look and a laugh! It is hard being so different.
I have always been intense but Here I must seem absolutely wild!
Glad to read your comment!

Ronnie C.
Ronnie Corral5 years ago

I have a problem w/people because I keep it REAL I tell it like it IS I HATE FAKERS I recently lost my friend of over 20 yrs because I refuse to keep on feedin' her over inflated ego tellin' her she looks gorgeous when she @ 5' 7" is now wearin' the same size as me a size 4 I'm 5' 2" hello she LOOKS ANOREXIC LIKE DEMI MOORE and the other Hollywood chicks over 40 who are becomin' human skeletons. To make it worse she has a million strangers on facebook tellin' her how great she looks DANGEROUS BEHAVIOUR

Andy H.
Andrew Harris5 years ago

What I read here is you reacting badly (as you should) to what is known as "disciplinary power". This is how we in the west are controlled, through discourses about what is normal that are created to manipulate us. . You can read Michel Foucault for more info if you are interested.
The question you need to ask yourself is why oithers opinions about you matter so much that you have to ask for advice on here about them. Surely you know yourself better than any outsiders do and that means that it is what you think about yourself that matters, not what others think. All you can really strive to do is to be true to yourself.My advice is be as outrageous as you feel you want to be and don't care about others attempts to. You don't need strong people around you to do this, just be yourself and the right people will appear.

Mari Garcia
Mari Garcia5 years ago

I'm just me, those who matter to me accept me the way I am.

irene fernandez
irene Fernandez5 years ago

I have no problem being me and not caring if people don´t get me, I´m used to that and time and time again the people who matter have shown me that they are here NO MATTER WHAT.
My problem comes at work where you have no choice but to have to have people around you that try there hardest to beat you down, what to do then?

Maria D'Oporto
Past Member 5 years ago

Noted!!! Lol, I like it because that feeling is very comun around hard workers, people tends to feel overstressed when they can't keep the rythm of some others, with a little bit of patience and another bit of care we can dance together no matter if it is counterpoint rythm.

Mary B.
Mary B5 years ago

Great article Kristy, and also what a great bunch of comments. THANK YOU Jane B for finaly shareing with us the narrative of your life story. Now your comments make some sense, but since we've all heard them before after different articles, would you please acknowledge that you have been heard, and stop spewing on us.And how about posting a current picture of yourself, and not lie about your age any more.What are you doing in your life now to make it and the world better.If you've been oppressed, anger is a step up the scale, but if you stop there and keep feeding it, you'll never get to happiness and contentment.And if you don't get there, what's the point of staying alive.
I love being alive, and it's a comfort and joy to me that I'll never get everything done that I want to do, because then there will always be more to call the desire to live thru me.

Sandi C.
Sandi C5 years ago

People come and go the important ones stay!