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What Happened When I Tried to Leave the Mormon Church -- 3 Times

Society & Culture  (tags: religion, mormon church, society, family, child, ethics, culture, abuse, rights, freedoms, dishonesty, americans, sadness )

- 2316 days ago -
I began to despair that I'd never free myself of the religion that had caused such heartache growing up.


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Michela M (3964)
Saturday July 14, 2012, 5:25 pm

Joe R (190)
Saturday July 14, 2012, 5:26 pm
Time to expose this silly "religion."

Carrie B (306)
Saturday July 14, 2012, 5:42 pm
There are too many so called religions with very disturbing practices.

Barb Knight (1694)
Saturday July 14, 2012, 6:31 pm
When I was a kid I had a crush on Donny Osmond. I was fortunate to meet him and his brothers on numerous ocassaions. They were always a hot topic in 'Tiger Beat' a magazine about entertainers that seems tamed compared to the publications that come out today. The day my crush ended was when I showed my sisters a pic of Merrill Osmond and his new bride Mary walking down the steps of the Mormon Temple. She was wearing a BLACK lace wedding dress , with a BLACK bouquet of roses and-drum roll please!-she wore Granny Clampette boots that tied up with shoe laces !!!!!!!!!!!! WE BURST OUT LAUGHING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and get this, Mormons wear BODY SUITS even when they make love; they are NOT ALLOWED to REMOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!! Mama shook her head and laughed saying; 'Well, Olive and George-the Osmonds' parents-must've removed their body suits 9 times because they had 9 children!!''

Barb Knight (1694)
Saturday July 14, 2012, 6:36 pm
That did it for me, buddy! No longer did 'I Dream of Donny'! I was strictly only a fan; purple bedroom and all!

Suruna WTF (38)
Saturday July 14, 2012, 6:58 pm
This story really speaks to the degree of indoctrination that exists. When you're done, you're done, why ask permission to go? So sad that she would wait, although "ready to move on with my post-Morman life."

Moving on requires letting go.

Carrie B (306)
Saturday July 14, 2012, 7:42 pm
You cannot currently send a star to BarbCat because you have done so within the last week.
You cannot currently send a star to BarbCat because you have done so within the last week.

Carrie B (306)
Saturday July 14, 2012, 7:43 pm
You cannot currently send a star to Runatik because you have done so within the last week.

Bianca D (87)
Saturday July 14, 2012, 8:58 pm
When a dear friend expressed her desire to separate herself from the church she had been raised in she was quite nervous and said, what if they don't accept my separation? My reply was, don't ask for their permission to leave, *inform* them that *you* have decided that this separation has occurred and you are letting them know out of courtesy... They can do with that information what they will, but your heart and soul have already decided on the matter.

Suruna WTF (38)
Saturday July 14, 2012, 9:56 pm
You don't "ask" or "inform", you sever. These relationships reveal the power you have given away, take it back.

Elle B (84)
Saturday July 14, 2012, 10:23 pm
TY Carrie.

An entire family i know feels obligated to the Mormon Church only because missionaries made it possible for them to come to America. They think the whole Joseph Smith story is very strange and don't really believe it they are just grateful to be in the U.S. for good.

“God has no religion.” ―Mohandas K. Gandhi


P A (117)
Sunday July 15, 2012, 1:37 am
Drat - can't give Bianca D another green star today! The poor people who have to go through such painful and apparently never ending rigmaroles!

John B (185)
Sunday July 15, 2012, 6:39 am
Thanks Carrie for posting Rachel Velamur's sad story. The LDS Church was one stop on my spiritual journey to becoming an Atheist/Humanist/Skeptic. I was not a model member and ask to many questions so when I quit there was no followup from the headquarters in Salt Lake or from my local President or Bishop. I honestly think they did want to be rid of me and I didn't need an "official letter" to acknowledge my departure. Read and noted.

Susanne R (236)
Sunday July 15, 2012, 2:44 pm
I agree with Runatik and Bianca. Why do you need to complete any type of formal process or get permission to leave the Mormon church --or any church, for that matter? It's not like getting a divorce. If it makes the author feel any better, she could send a notarized letter of termination to the Church Headquarters using certified mail with a return receipt requested. She will receive a receipt indicating that her letter was received and, by having it notarized, there will be no doubt that SHE was the person who sent the letter because a qualified individual served as witness to the act. As far as I'm concerned, that should be more than enough to sever the relationship.

Past Member (0)
Sunday July 15, 2012, 8:46 pm
-ty-Carrie for the post.

Espen jorge (235)
Monday July 16, 2012, 4:15 am
The mormons and those crazy people with the bible in their hand do and says a lot of lies, they can make one`s life miserable if one are trying to get out of their grip, I have been there,not the mormons(morons) but another kind of church that I found out stood for evil, not good..
The mormons were kind to me all the time I nodded and did what they said, when I got out of there, they sent me letters and letters that the devil had taken me and that I should at least give them compencation for all the work they had to do to get rid of my demons..(!)
ooooook. But everyone who speaks false with a holy book in their hands are cruel people, like the Westboro babtist church,they wanted to come overseas to Norway to protest and salute that the terrorist in norway last summer`s actions actually were the hand of God making him shoot down lots of young innocent kids on a camp,they were sooo happy that this horrible terror happened,it shook the whole country,as we only are 5 million people here, everybody knew someone or someones friends or families who had been struck by the attack..
The WBC wanted to get into the funerals celebrating the death of all the young people..
I DO NOT COMPARE THEM WITH THE MORMONS, BUT THERE ARE SO MUCH MONEY INVOLVED IN HE SOCALLED CHURCHES IT IS UNBELIEVABLE..Like the silly but very dangerous people in the Scientologic church,they are crazy paranoid,greedy evil people,anyone seen documentaries about them?Like the bbc documentaries?Says everything about how lowlife they and their huge income of cash donated by very powerful people,if one are against them,it is like living hell,I know that cause I felt their harm on my body and in my nerves..They are still after me.4 years after my visit to one of their places.....

Carol H (229)
Monday July 16, 2012, 5:19 am
noted! I agree with Bianca, sent her a star!!

Veronique L (209)
Monday July 16, 2012, 11:30 am
Very scary...

Gloria H (88)
Monday July 16, 2012, 1:57 pm
I was church visiting and sat in the second row of a church to try out. They had a guest speaker from seminary school who proceeded to hell fire and damnation lecture. I could sense the tension in the room...or perhaps it was only me. I was too chicken to get up and walk out and have everybody stare at me. It was WORSE than sitting in the dentist;s chair. You better believe it when the service was over, I flew out like a bat out of hell, never to return.
You can physically leave a church. Do so. You can find another path to God/Goddess/ the so. You are only mentally and NOT spiritualy bound to a belief. Get out, close the door and leave the collection plate behind (taking THAT with you is bad karma!) ;)

Gene Jacobson (290)
Monday July 16, 2012, 2:01 pm
Unbelievable. They still have those young MEN, always male, riding around in their white short sleeve shirts on bikes wanting to "share" THEIR idea of who God is with people. Not interesting in hearing anyone else's idea at all. I know cuz every time two of them show up, I agree, but only if they'll hear me out first. Not a single taker in all these years. They're as radical as any other fundamentalist organization and as hypocritical. You don't need their permission to leave. You just never go again. Toss their propaganda in the recycling. If they harass you at your home, file for a restraining order. They aren't in control, you are. Take back that power and use it. It isn't that hard when you are determined to be free to follow your own spirit. :^)

Aurea Aurea Walker (226)
Monday July 16, 2012, 3:21 pm
I parted with the roman catholic church at age eleven for the following: school fund raising money stolen by our "priest, drove off in the VW we were raffling off and left with one of the prettiest girls in our school age 15.
Had to continue going to my catholic school for my education, but even thought we were required/forced to go to confession and mass I never MISSED a chance to have fun with my confessor or making ugly faces at communion! Did all this before I truly knew how EVIL the robbing crook cult really is! So honey take the yoke the LDS cult has ensnared you with and send them packing! As Oscar Wilde so eloquently put it

Aletta Kraan (146)
Monday July 16, 2012, 3:53 pm
Wow , thanks , noted

marie C (163)
Monday July 16, 2012, 3:57 pm
No religion should make you do anything and no one should be frightened
If any religion suits enjoy it but never force it on others
We should all have a choice to believe in what we like or not and respect each other choices
We should never make fun or persecute any believer just mind your own business and live your life to suit your own beliefs . Different strokes for different folks.

Fred Krohn (34)
Monday July 16, 2012, 3:59 pm
This claptrap is relatively mild compared to how 'Scientology' and many Islamic sects respond. It is still illegal, heretical, immoral, and hypocritical of all those faiths to persecute apostatic ex-members.

bindy hopper (0)
Monday July 16, 2012, 4:05 pm
This was my exact experience trying not to be catholic anymore. I have asked, sent in letters and still no one, any higher than the receptionist on the phone line will answer me whether I am among the "saved" of catholic people. I deplore the Pope and have no faith in anything resembling Catholicism, and yet I'm fairly certain I'm still considered a catholic :(

Jeremy S (3)
Monday July 16, 2012, 5:00 pm
Any religion that won't let you go isn't worthy of your worship to begin with.

Christopher Fowler (82)
Monday July 16, 2012, 5:06 pm
Just like scientology, it is a cult. It was made up from whole cloth by a guy who just wanted to get rich off of religion.

Carrie B (306)
Monday July 16, 2012, 6:36 pm
Bindy, take heart. I don't believe the Catholic church expects you to ask to leave. You are free to do what your conscience tells you.

Tom Edgar (56)
Monday July 16, 2012, 6:49 pm
You don't have to ASK or TELL anybody If you are pestered tell them. "I am not interested in your stupid beliefs." then close the door.
Then get on living our own life in the way it suits you without reference to anybody. Mine was atheistic and at 85 I have been free from religion for 73 years without apparently any ill effects. Try it you'll be so glad you did.

Carrie B (306)
Monday July 16, 2012, 8:19 pm
The more of us who report SPAM, the more likely care2 might do something about it!

Talya H (10)
Monday July 16, 2012, 9:19 pm
Thanks for the article!

Teresa Cowley (274)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 12:11 am
Religion is meant to be both joyous and consoling--if it is not, it is not a religion.
Bianca, Runatik,Jeremy and Gene, you are totally right.
Bindy, I left the Catholic Church about 35 years ago--nothing formal about it. You just make the decision that it isn't for you, and you simply quit going.
Thanks for a most interesting article, Carrie.

Janet G (0)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 5:25 am
Very enlightening!

Kate Kenner (215)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 6:16 am
Maybe it should be called the Mormon cult.

Carola May (20)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 6:51 am
Disturbing! At least they don't call for your death if you leave like Islam does. Imagine what it is like trying to get out of the oppression of Islam with a potential death sentence over your head or at least threats of violence. So count yourself lucky that you can announce your renunciation of Mormonism and live to tell the tale.

Jay S (116)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 7:20 am
Good point Carola M!

One of us was a victim of Mormonism for years and didn't have a hard time leaving it in the end. He was always praised for his being such 'a good boy' - volunteer church organist, Sunday School teacher, many volunteer jobs helping the disabled and doing community work even as a teenager, even being a (reluctant) Mormon missionary - that was the real end of belief in that fairy tale, but the worry of harming the family kept him silent and afraid to publicly leave it, even while he left the church and joined another.

BUT once the Mormon church discovered he was gay (and always had been, even suffering with Mormon shame and guilt) and was publicly open about it then the Brethren solved the problem and excommunicated him, giving him a trial (which he refused to attend) and delivering the verdict with the comment that the excommunication was done 'in love' and if he had never been publicly open about being gay they would have ignored it, just expecting him to be celibate for life! Such hypocrites.

The excommunication document said he was being 'cast out to live with Satan and his angels for all eternity'. This is not a religion of love (but few are), tolerance and forgiveness etc as Jesus taught. In fact Jesus never said a word against gay people, but only taught love of all. That idea, unfortunately seemed to die soon after he did.

We had a friend who wrote to have his name removed from membership too, but he was refused. He told them he was gay and still they refused. He didn't come out publicly apparently.

So if you can't get out of Mormonism then tell them you're homosexual, do it publicly and mention you're a Mormon at the same time. You'll be out before the door closes. And what a joy and relief it is too!

That said, Utah has 10 towns/cities with anti-discrimination laws protecting gays from lots of discrimination and over 70% of Utahns approve of equal rights for LGBT people (just not 'marriage', but 'civil unions' are OK.) Compared to some other religious groups Mormons are quite individually more tolerant than their leaders, as are Catholics.


Carrie B (306)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 7:34 am
Maybe someday the leaders of these religions will learn what "Love thy fellow man" really means.

pam w (139)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 10:27 am
"giving him a trial (which he refused to attend) and delivering the verdict with the comment that the excommunication was done 'in love' and if he had never been publicly open about being gay they would have ignored it, just expecting him to be celibate for life! Such hypocrites"

++++++++++++++ Wait! There was a TRIAL? Did anyone speak for the "accused?" Did they send an excommunication document? Because, if so, I hope you have it FRAMED somewhere?.

Suzanne L (99)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 10:59 am
I have heard and read a lot of negative things about the Mormons. and these accounts certainly confirm that they are a religion to stay away from.

Roger G (148)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 12:33 pm
noted thanks !

Cristins Calloni (0)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 12:36 pm
increible stories!...I don't believed.

donald Baumgartner (6)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 1:50 pm
WHY anyone would join is beyond me!!!

pam w (139)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 3:01 pm
They're born into it, the same way as Muslims (who treat women like dirt.)

JL A (281)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 3:13 pm
the description is scarily like the cults in the news in the past...

Marie W (67)
Tuesday July 17, 2012, 10:56 pm
This is why I despise RELIGION.

Past Member (0)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 2:06 am
Creepy but not surprising. I heard much worse from people who had grown up in Jehovah's Witness families.
Those cults are a form of extremism that should be addressed by governments. Danger doesn't only come from suicide bombers and the latest scapegoat. It is really time to seriously investigate what goes on in those so called churches.

Lindsay K (6)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 5:01 am
Most true denominations in the Christian Church that I know of would offer a conversation if you requested to resign your membership, but the purpose would be not to hold on to you, but to a) make sure you were ok, b) to see if there was a particular reason eg. had someone upset or hurt you, and c) to say goodbye in a good way. Of course churches are sad when people leave, but they're mostly realistic too.

Wednesday July 18, 2012, 7:27 am
It does not matter whether it is Scientology, Mormonism, Jehovah’s witnesses or any other religion an individual must have the courage to leave it. If one is involved in a relationship which has turned out bad or is just not working anymore, you leave and that’s the end of it! I remain highly skeptical of a situation where “the door is plainly open” yet the person complaining does not just leave!” If the person is not tied up or held at gunpoint, or even threatened with physical violence, or retaliation, then there should be no problem in just saying sayonara, adios, or even a timid goodbye!


Nancy M (168)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 10:13 am
WOW. Most churches are looking to get rid of you the minute you stop contributing. I wonder if they will send her a bill for all that back-tithing.

Jeannette A (137)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 11:31 am
Any group that does not respect and honor the individual does not deserve to exist. Society is made up of individuals and true, willing, co-operative efforts are our greatest strength. When people feel bullied and forced into belonging to any group (political, religious, social or otherwise) we diminish the potential that humanity has to offer. So sad to find people trapped in groups whose main goal is to take advantage of them any way they can.

Barbara T (431)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 4:32 pm
BarbCat: Mormons -- ALL ADULT MORMONS -- MUST wear their "Magic Underwear" at ALL times. It has little crosses embroidered onto it at 5 strategic points. This Underwear, called by Mormons by the word "Garments", BOTH "protects adult Mormons from SINNING", AND, it "protects from bodily harm such as traffic accidents, etc."
They HAVE to wear it Sleeping, Bathing, at the Beach, and, yes, while MAKING LOVE. At ALL times. Next to the skin, UNDER OTHER UNDERWEAR.
The Magic Underwear which is the same for men & women, has BIG TRIANGULAR HOLES cut out at the bottom. That way, THEY CAN WEAR THE MAGIC UNDERWEAR WHILE GOING TO THE BATHROOM; AS WELL AS WHILE HAVING SEX.
They wear panties, boxers for men, etc. on TOP of the Magic Underwear. They can take THOSE off, just like we can! But not the Magic stuff..... oh yes, and they are NOT SUPPOSED TO WASH THEM IN PUBLIC LAUNDROMATS, where the rest of us can see the "Garments" -- and maybe LAUGH at them! They are supposed to be another one of those MORMON SECRETS.........

marie C (163)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 4:49 pm
So many religions are much more crazy than the Mormons
Its quite gentle in comparison to most
If people are happy with their idiosyncrasys let them get on with it as long as they do not hurt others
If you want to leave just leave they are trapped because they believe and there is little we can do about it they need professional help Unless you have experienced it I do not think we can help

Barbara T (431)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 4:53 pm
PLEASE NOTICE WHAT THE ARTICLE SAYS: "I have tried three times to have my name removed from church membership rolls. Three separate attempts and I still don’t know if I’m counted among the 14 million members to whom the Mormon Church stakes claim." "MY NAME REMOVED FROM CHURCH MEMBERSHIP ROLLS."

ANYbody at ANY time, can leave a Church, just stop going.
However, the Mormon Church -- and it's not the only one! -- wants to keep lists of names on its Membership Rolls, simply FOREVER. And ever. And ever!
The reason for this, is quite plain. It is so that the Autocratic, Dictatorial Mormon Church Leadership, can claim POLITICAL POWER, based on those inflated NUMBERS -- votes they claim to be able to deliver, "public opinion" on such issues as Gay Rights, etc.
It appears that maybe the ONLY way a person could get off those phoney inflated "membership lists", is to claim to be openly Gay!

The Roman Catholic Church, does EXACTLY THE SAME THING.
You can just stop going to Church; but, the ONLY way you can STOP BEING OFFICIALLY LISTED AS A CATHOLIC --
Obviously, the Catholic Church wants to make RENOUNCING YOUR BAPTISM as DIFFICULT as possible -- and, doesn't want to publicize it!
I have this from a Catholic friend who ACTUALLY DID THIS. All sorts of barriers, delays, non-replies, just as in this instance above.
And for the same reasons exactly -- the more "names" on the "membership lists", the more powerful the Church APPEARS to be......... even if those who really consider themselves members, are just a tiny fraction.....!

Barbara T (431)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 5:05 pm
Remember, the Mormon Church is NOTORIOUS for ADDING PEOPLE TO ITS MEMBERSHIP AFTER THEY ARE DEAD. Notoriously, THEY WERE DOING THIS TO JEWISH HOLOCAUST VICTIMS until asked to stop! {I think legally asked to stop, and sued!}

So, if you were born a Mormon, or converted at some time, they are NOT ABOUT TO LET YOUR NAME GET OFF THE MEMBERSHIP LIST. After you are dead, maybe, your name will still be listed THAT YOU WERE A MORMON.

And, the Roman Catholic Church DOES EXACTLY THE SAME THING.
Some people don't mind; while some ARE EXTREMELY OFFENDED BY THIS.
It is not enough to just stop going to Mass, stop giving money, etc.


Nice little RACKET the Mormons and the Catholics have going, huh????
I don't know if any other Churches do this, or not........

marie C (163)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 5:05 pm
It really would not worry me how many lists I was on its up to the individual what you believe
You know how the sayings go BORN A CATHOLIC ?????? MORMON ????? WHATEVER die a ????????
I have seen it a few time with non practising people when your time is up some people change
We are sometimes so deeply indoctrinated from birth so is it not so easy when our time is close
Its quite common for people to revert back probably from fear

marie C (163)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 5:10 pm
The gay thing is just plain stupid who would even want to be a Mormon
The couple of programmes I have watched the men were quite unattractive now I know why none of them were gay

Carrie B (306)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 5:28 pm
I have checked online and kind nothing verifying BMutiny's descriptions or practices.

Carrie B (306)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 6:00 pm
Since it is taking soooo long for comments to post, I was talking about BMUTINY's comment about Mormon undergarments

Barbara T (431)
Wednesday July 18, 2012, 6:29 pm
I got my info about the Magic Undergarments, from sites written by EX-MORMONS.
I accessed those sites thru Wikipedia.
I also looked at sites written by Mormons. Those have quite different statements about the "Garments"!

I would tend to believe the sites written by EX-MORMONS. They are not trying to make converts!
Those sites have great detail, and include pictures.
Mormons have a great number of "secrets", apparently, that they don't want "outsiders" to get hold of.
Maybe the lower-level Mormons don't know some of them!
For example, some of their "secret temple rituals" are said to be derived from Masonic ritual.
This just goes to show that their "founder", a known con man and convicted felon {for fraud}, was not "inspired by god" as they say.
The ORIGINAL "Magic Underwear" was like the one-piece Union Suit of the time -- from neck to wrists to ankles! and with the big triangular hole at the bottom, so you didn't have to take it off..... THAT part was different from the Union Suit "flap". Then a Mormon Elder had one of those "revelations" to bring the "Garment" up-to-date to conform with modern fashions.... now it is TWO-piece, and of course much shorter! But Mormons DO try to avoid talking about them with outsiders! For example, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT THEM ON AN OUTDOOR CLOTHESLINE WHERE THEY COULD BE SEEN FROM THE STREET......

Carrie B (306)
Thursday July 19, 2012, 1:40 am
Thanks for providing the info BMutiny.

Peace Monger (185)
Thursday July 19, 2012, 2:57 am
I find it laughable any religious organisation thinks it can use excommunication on anyone. As if they could cut me off from The Universe! Ha! Dream on.

Missy O (8)
Thursday July 19, 2012, 8:25 am

Michael M (5)
Thursday July 19, 2012, 6:28 pm
Sounds like any other cult!

Kerrie G (116)
Friday July 20, 2012, 3:59 am
Noted, thanks.
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