Hello everyone, My name is Jesse, I was dating for a very short time this women that I fell in love with very hard. We met on E-harmony and from the start things just clicked, we shared a lot of things in common and both felt a strong connection. We shared some of the most heart felt e-mails with each other, thought, desires, and hopes. Then the big day came when I would meet her face to face. We had already shared pics so we had some idea of what the other looked like. We met and she was a knock out, we went on our date and almost from the start I felt something was wrong on her end, but I tried to make the best of it thinking that it was just nerves. I asked her threw out the date if she was ok and she would say yes she was fine. Well I finialy sugested we go some where we could talk in private and then I asked her are you not attracted to me for some reason? She said that she had a problem with my then long hair and the way I dressed. I was hurt and eneded the date and took her home. She e-mailed me the next day to say how bad she felt. I was still hurt and was not to kind in what I had to say, I didn't tell her off but I did tell her how hurt I was that she made me feel that way. Well we still talked and I told her that if it made her happy I could cut my hair and change the way I dress if it made her happy. I did all that. We seen each other again the next weekend I had my short hair and I got some new cloths and I could see she could not keep her eyes off me and she was so affectionate. The next day we went to see her cousin sing so I met her parnets, bother, and other family members. She was so affectionate with me in front of them always making sure she was close to me and that I was near her. It was perfect and I was falling for her. I got an e-mail from her telling me how great it was to be with me those two nights and then she said to me what I had hoped to hear one day. She said she loved me. Then later that week I seen her again, I asked if I could visit her and she said yes I will get out of work at this time. It was nice I messaged her feet and we shared out first deep kiss. It felt like nothing I hd ever felt. We had planned to go to Knots Scary Farm and she asked if she could take one of her sons I said yes it would be great to meet him. It showed me that she was moving forward with this relationship to take that step. Well that day came up and I met her at her place to pick her up and something felt odd. I figured it was cause she was neverious me meeting her son. I with drew a little my self. On the way to the boy's dad's house she told me that her boys have never seen her with anyone other then their dad. I figured ok then I will have to hold back on kissing her in front of him but I didn't think it ment that she would be real distant with me. As the date went on I felt like I was not on a date with her and her son but like an on looker. So I became more distant. Well we left and didn't talk the whole way back. The plan was for me to stay with her and spend the next day togther. Well I didn't feel I should after that. She asked if I was ok to go home I said yes, as I left I didn't like not talking about what happen. So I called to her and asked what happen she said it was you. I said it wasn't just me you shut down on me I said I only shut down cause you did. Well I figured there was not reason to try and talk it was late we were both up set and very tired. She never called me to see if I made it home ok that night or inthe morning. She didn't call to talk to me like she said we would. I e-mailed her telling her my feeling on what happen. I said I was dissapointed that she didn't care enough to call me to make sure I made home safe. She didn't respond. That Mon I didn't make any contact with her. Things got to me and I needed to know what happen and apologize for my actions. She didn't take any of my calls, and when she did respond it was threw a text message. The next day I tried to call again same result would not take my calls on send me text messages that said it was not all about the other night but me I will explain when I get home. I went later that daye before she got home to leave her flowers, a card, and not, telling her I was sorry and hoped we could work things out. The next day she didn't call to tell me she got them. So I called again would not take my calls, just said yes I got everything thank you. Then I asked are we ok is it over between us. She said I will explain I don't want to say yes or no. Well it wasn't till today that she said that she was up set about Sat and that she thought about taking her son different then I did and her thought about how the date should have gone different then I did. She said she looked deep in her heart and found that she did have the complete feelings she needed to continue with me. She said she was sorry for leading me to believe that she did. I don't understand how she could have gone from e-mailing and telling me some of the most wonderfull things and telling me how she was glad I was in her life to this. She would text message me while we were at work at least 5 times a day to tell me she was thinking of me. She neve bought me cloths and a wtch to help me dress more the style. I thought of all these things as I read her e-mail letting me that she thought she could feel the way she needed to to make the love she thought she had for me complete. I was confused how someone could express to me what she had and do the things she did for me and then say she was trying to make it real for her. Now I don't know but I find it hard to believe that if someone didn't mean what they said that they would buy you cloths a nice watch, be as passionate with me in front of family and alone as she was with me. I responded back asking her explain tome how you can go from one extreme to the next over a matter of 4 days? I asked her was anything she told me and did for me real if not did she know then that she wasn't really as in love with me as she wanted to be. I asked her is she that shallow that my appreance is still an issues with her even after I have shown I will change and that I could give her the love that she told me she knew she would get from me. I asked her does the way I person look out weigh the heart of the person? The I sent her the e-mails I kept that she sent me when she was telling me how much she loved me and would never let me go that I was all she ever hoped and prayed for. And asked her when you read these ask your self was this real and from the heart or were you like you said trying to convince your self that it was? I told her that if leaving a man that she knows would love her like she knows I can and be the best to her then I would repsect her wishes and walk away. So for those who read this I need to ask these questions of you. Can someone go from being so in love or showing a person love then just change that fast? How can someon buy and show a person that that affection when they say they knew down deep they weren't complete? Do you think that she said what she did cause she was still up set with me about Sat? Could it be that cause of her past with her Ex-husband that she is so afraid to love someone that treat her right and nothing like her ex did so she doesn't feel she is worth being with that person? And my last question do you think if I don't call her and leave her lone that one day I will hear frm her again after she thinks about what she had with me and misses the way she was treated and how I made her feel even though at one time she had issues with my appearance and still might be the reason for the break up that she will come back or is she really gone? If anyone can shed some light with an experiance that you had similar to this one or know someone that has been where I am I'd be vert greatfull to you for your imput.