We're committed to making good parenting choices, but aren't always sure what they are! Sharing good advice & parenting styles in POSITIVE (non-judgemental) ways, we offer eachother fresh ideas and cheer eachother on. WE TRY TO DO RIGHT BY OUR KIDS!!
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This group is for parents to connect to eachother, to discuss parenting issues and to offer/receive support regarding the many challenges of parenting.
Please stop first at the "Getting To Know You" thread and introduce yourself. That way we'll be able to use this thread as a reference for having a little background info to be able to relate to you more easily. Feel free to read existing threads and add your point of view, and to start new threads opening discussions about what you're going through or your questions or ideas.
Parenting can (& should!) be one of THE MOST worthwhile jobs in our lives, and people who join this group are committed to being positive & loving guides for their children. Being in this group can help keep you anchored when parenting gets rough. We're also here to applaud your triumphs and appreciate wonderful parent/child moments that you'd like to share.
Please communicate respectfully with eachother, and honor eachothers' chosen paths.
I am writing to ask all parents to please sign my petition online. I need all of your support. I live in Florida and summer day camps as well as sleep away camps are not required to be licensed or accredited. There are no regulatory standards or required continuing education required of the director and staff. I need to make all of you aware. Please help me! Each state is different. Thank you
If you use punishment as a tool it may work to stop an immediate action or behavior, but what are we really trying to teach our kids? What are our real goals as parents? I’d like to think they are to prepare our children to be healthy, loving, responsible and thriving adults. With that in mind, how does spanking, grounding, sending them to their bedroom, removal of privileges, withholding of allowance and timeouts work? When a parent resorts to punishment both the parent and the child begin to pay attention to the punishment, its fairness and its enforcement instead of focusing on the actions that didn’t work. This takes the attention off of the behavior and allows the child to stop thinking about the decision process that brought about the action in the first place. Next, the child is not engaged in creating a new ways to handle situations differently in the future. A spanked child will think about how their rear end hurts, a child who has had something taken away from them will think about how angry they are at their parents, but seldom will they think about how to handle their next choice in a new way. One of the most effective ways I have found to teach my children is to help them figure out what need was being met by their behavior. Instead of making them wrong we focus on what motivated their actions in the first place. As soon as we uncover why they did it, I ask them a few questions and let them come up with their own answers. I ask… Did it work? Did your actions meet that need? What was the cost and impact on yourself or others? Is there another way you can meet that need without such a high cost? Usually at this point it is very easy for them to see new life serving ways of meeting their needs and handling similar situations differently. If they don’t see new ways I’ll help them brainstorm until we come up with something that works for both of us. When I asked my children what they liked about this technique, they said, “You don’t make me wrong when I make a mistake, you trust me enough to come up with my own solutions.”
In closing I would like to pose a question… As a parent would you rather punish your child hoping they learn what you are trying to teach them or have them practice and develop the skills of acceptance, responsibility, accountability and self trust? For more information and details about this technique you can check out www.cnvc.org website or contact me directly at www.care2.com/suzrock