1. Always make grooming as uncomfortable for your people as it is for you.
2. Greet your people everyday as if they have been on vacation for weeks without you.
3. If someone is holding ice cream that must mean they want to share.
4. Your hair is white to make it easier to show off your mud rolling skills.
5. Any conflict can be resolved by standing on two legs and spinning around.
6. The best toys are the ones the people carry around on their feet.
7. The best spots to lay are the ones the people just got out of (or just the people if they won't move for you)
8. The best food is the kind the people are eating (sit like they do and they will likely share)
9. The best place to lay while people are doing kitchen things is behind their left foot.
10. At least once a day run really fast in a wide circle and make as much noise as possible while doing so.