Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 20
Thinking of others has never come easily to me. Even when I try to
work the A.A. program, Im prone to thinking, How do I feel today. Am
I happy, joyous and free? The program tells me that my thoughts must
reach out to those around me: Would that newcomer welcome someone to
talk to? That person looks a little unhappy today, maybe I could
cheer him up. It is only when I forget my problems, and reach out to
contribute something to others that I can begin to attain the serenity
and God-consciousness I seek.
We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make
no requests for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be
helped. We are
careful never to pray for our own selfish ends.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 87
As an active alcoholic, I allowed selfishness to run rampant in my
life. I was so attached to my drinking and other selfish habits that people and moral
principles came second.
Now, when I pray for the good of others rather than my "own selfish
ends," I practice a discipline in letting go of selfish attachments, caring for my fellows
and preparing for the day when I will be required to let go of all earthly attachments.
[send green star]
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us
what we could not do for ourselves.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84
The last Promise in the Big Book came true for me
on the very first day of sobriety. God kept me sober
that day, and on every other day I allowed Him to
operate in my life. He gives me the strength, courage
and guidance to meet my responsibilities in life so
that I am then able to reach out and help others stay
sober and grow. He manifests within me, making me a
channel of His word, thought and deed. He works with
my inner self, while I produce in the outer world, for
He will not do for me what I can do for myself. I must
be willing to do His work, so that He can function
through me successfully.
[send green star]
If
we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be
amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new
freedom and a new happiness. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 83
My first true freedom is the freedom not to have to take a drink
today. If I truly want it, I will work the Twelve Steps and the
happiness of this freedom will come to me through the Steps sometimes
quickly, sometimes slowly. Other freedoms will follow, and inventorying
them is a new happiness. I had a new freedom today, the freedom to be
me. I have the freedom to be the best me I have ever been.
We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society. Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide underneath it. This self-centered behavior blocked a partnership relation with any one of those about us. Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 53
This message contained in Step Four was the first one I heard loud and clear; I hadnt seen myself in print before! Prior to my coming into A.A., I knew of no place that could teach me how to become a person among persons. From my very first meeting, I saw people doing just that and I wanted what they had. One of the reasons that Im a happy, sober alcoholic today is that Im learning this most important lesson.
almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never tried it enough. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 97
Having grown up in an agnostic household, I felt somewhat foolish when I first tried praying. I knew there was a Higher Power working in my life how else was I staying sober? but I certainly wasnt convinced he/she/it wanted to hear my prayers. People who had what I wanted said prayer was an important part of practicing the program, so I persevered. With a commitment to daily prayer, I was amazed to find myself becoming more serene and comfortable with my place in the world. In other words, life became easier and less of a struggle. Im still not sure who, or what, listens to my prayers, but Id never stop saying them for the simple reason that they work.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.83
Once I became sober, I began to see how wasteful my life had been and I experienced overwhelming guilt and feelings of regret. The programs Fourth and Fifth Steps assisted me enormously in healing those troubling regrets. I learned that my self-centeredness and dishonesty stemmed largely from my drinking and that I drank because I was an alcoholic. Now I see how even my most distasteful past experiences can turn to gold because, as a sober alcoholic, I can share them to help my fellow alcoholics, particularly newcomers. Sober for several years in A.A., I no longer regret the past; I am simply grateful to be conscious of Gods love and of the help I can give to others in the Fellowship.
Some of us, though, tripped over a very different snag. We clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 79
This Step seemed so simple. I identified several people whom I had harmed, but they were no longer available. Still, I was uneasy about the Step and avoided conversations dealing with it. In time I learned to investigate those Steps and areas of my life which made me uncomfortable. My search revealed my parents, who had been deeply hurt by my isolation from them; my employer, who worried about my absences, my memory lapses, my temper; and the friends I had shunned, without explanation. As I faced the reality of the harm I had done, Step Eight took on a new meaning. I am no longer uncomfortable and I feel clean and light.