Mayhaps a petition for stiffer laws protecting victims/survivors of domestic abuse. Of course this would be a state by state fight.

Or simply more stiff laws keeping violent offenders off the street.

These are hard to change laws. Seems to me, the guilty are protected more then the innocent.

They are more protected than the victim.I like your ideas,I had the same idea as you.Maybe we could work on federal laws?At least we wouldn't have to go state by state?

Although the laws should be more equitable this is true, but it seems to me that if the front line enforcers were trained by requirement to be educated on the fall out for any type of abuse, even pet and other animal abuse, child abuse, woman abuse, gay abuse, racial, economical  actually ANY abuse--we might foster a more equitable first line of help.  Am I off the mark here.  I'm not talking a sensitivity class given after the facts, but a required social science semster or two along with a short internship with a DHS social worker or others of those who see the results of these crimes on entire families and neighborhoods etc.

Just some random thinking.

Mary, that is a great point.

The unifying of training of our authorities is paramount. We are still faced with the old school opinions that domestic situations are different then regular assault or abuse..we know that is BS. Education is the most important part of even a police officers growth in their job. But we are still at odds with some that still have that old school attitude and belief.

Federal level does not come into play when it is a state by state law situation.

Cheers.

Jacki

I like the Education Ideas And that is something that could be mandated by federal law and enforced by withholding Federal Law Grants and adding educational Funding to Law  Enforcement Budgets.

However NO MORE Laws that take away the Rights of the Accused.! This Country is fast Turning into a police State! What about Innoccent untill proven Guilty There are WAY Too many people willing to Give up those rights to satisify Thier Special interests!

Anyone knows that The first Suspect is the partner so Why should an Innocent person Be Dissalowed Access to thier Partners funeral Just Because Lazy Law enforcement Jumps them with out a proper investigation?

There are other ways of Dealing with these issues if there is a history of Abuse or a Friend or Family member has A Reason to Fear the person then they Can Get a Restraining order to prevent contact ; yes I know restrainging orders don't always work but in the instance of a Funeral you Can have a police escort, a media presence and a Crowd of mourners to assist in enforcing the order.

We need to Think of how to use The Laws that are allready on the books And teach potential victims how to protect themselves instead of Takeing away more freedoms and further Corrupting the bill of Rights and our Justice System. 

It all sounds good untill some one you know or you ARE Falsely Accused; We All Know that Innocent poor go to jail and Rich Guilty Walk.

 Lets fix the System instead of making things worse! ! 

Hey guys, sorry to be jumping in so late.

I like a lot of the ideas being thrown around in here.  Most particularly, the one for Robert's granddaughter.  He has expressed a sincere interest in becoming very proactive in being a catalyst for change -- unfortunately (for obvious reasons), he is pretty spiritually exhausted right now.

As soon as he feels up to it, I think this would be a perfect catharsis for his pain.  And, in fact, I recently spoke to another member here who lost a 5-year-old daughter to the same type of violence . . . she too, is considering becoming involved.

Good on you!

Well - I would like to add something to this.  My husband was murdered, and although I was not the direct victim of the crime, it has been the worst experience I ahve ever been through.  To say that I have been experiencing PTSD would be an understatement.  Being a survivor of a loved who died by homicide is hideous. And my husband was killed out of the country.  We had to have him shipped back here to be buried in the US.  He had only had his citizenship for 6 months.

There should be counseling available for those who have had to go through this.  There are some programs, but it is not always easy to track them down.  If something is mentioned about this idea in a petition, it needs to be mentioned without my name, for many reasons. But I wanted to put a real person behind this for the group members.  This almost led to the end of the road for me.

Thank you so much for sharing that; I know it must be gut-wrenching.

Of course, your anonymity will be protected.  You, of all people, can use your painful experience to give guidance to others as to how best handle the grieving period of loved ones left behind . . . the "extended victims."

Bless you.

EXCELLENT!

Cynthia, I can already see that there are some differences of opinion within the group as to certain issues. 

I'll be right up front about one of them -- accuseds' rights.  We live in a country where people are assumed innocent until "proven" guilty.  I would strongly disagree with backing any proposed legislation which denied a "legally" innocent person of his/her rights.

That said, though, while it is good for each of us to present our viewpoints, I feel we should put some type of time limit on the discussion, to avoid an overly protracted, potentially redundant, and time-consuming debate.

At that point, I feel Cynthia's suggestion about a poll is perfect.  Provided, as I said, that members have had an opportunity to educate themselves on the merits of all sides of the issue.

Done!

It would take at least one person per state to become a member of an applical group to make this easier. Say one on domestic abuse, on on victims rights group, etc.

I suggest another membership to this group drive, Jakki. We will need a large base. 

I Feel that Thier should be more done to Educate potential Victims on Self defense.

 Ayone obtaining a Restraining order Should be Exempt from Weapons waiting periods and Given a Dedicated 911 Cell with an alarm wrist thong pull trigger As well as a loan of whatever weapons and training If They can show Financial need.

 To many women stay in abusive relationships Because they Can't afford to move out much less pay for Self defense and Weapons But without them They are Just Sitting Ducks.

 The Cell phone might Be a detterent But any Self defense Trainer that knows the laws and the attitudes of law enforcement will tell you the first reporter will get the benifit of doubt Even if they are Standing over the body of thier attacker! !

 Just remember to unload and lower your weapon when help arrives and don't run up on them Sit down and have a good Cry or puke Whatever you need to get past the Shock!

Head down and hands in front helps with shock and also puts you in a non threatening position so the officer can approach comfortably. These are just examples of the types of Proactive Victims Protections that Could be a combination of Private instruction; New Laws And something Positive to do with all those guns they confiscate! 

As a newly hatched member who has been reading some of the messages I realize that where I live right now, in the Netherlands, there is a nationa/local structure of what the dutch call Slachtofferhelp which means VIctim Help. If someone is in an accident the police let the organization know that there are people who may need help. My husband had a car accident where he left the road and was trapped in his car. I was called by one of these volunteers working for victim help and I realized while talking how shaken up I had been by what had happened to him.

This victim help organization has advisors/cunsultants who are paid by the government to provide the structure and advice and give training to the volunteers who are there to call or go in person to help those who directly or indirectly feel victimized. They recruit volunteers and train them to be able to provide assistance, deal with the emotional side of the problems, etc.

They can help victims get legal assistance and can help write letters, get assistance, get representation, get knowledge about the law, get mental and physical help.

The dutch are into starting clubs to deal with problems. Don't know if this is an idea you can use. It is something I could get specific info for you if you would like it. A friend of mine did this work for years and she helped a lot of people.

It is what rose in my brain when I was reading. It is essential that anyone who has been tramatized knows that they are not alone. That across on the other side of the world there is someone thinking about them and holding out a hand. You are not alone. You are never alone. I am hear. If you want to talk, I will listen.

Holly T

Thanks Cynthia...for sharing your knowledge and wisdom.  You said some things that made sense and some things I did not know.....

Phyllus

It took 50 years of underfunded schools, and a barrage of conflicting blurts issued by priests, peddlers, and presidents to stop children from attempting to think.

I am just starting to get regular daily digests...but if I can do anything, like research....if some one takes lead in this, I will be glad to contribute where needed...for Robert and his granddaughter.  Please let me know.

Phyllis

Speaking from experience, having worked with the Sheriff's Office and being a ranking black belt instructor, a gun can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Most attacks are by surprise and if the gun is not on your person at the time of the attack, what good is it, even with the best training. Most people keep a gun in a drawer or closet and if the assailant is between you and the gun, it is now your enemy. I know of many cases where victims were shot with their own guns!!

I am surely not against guns for protection, but like I stated in previous posts, I believe in self defense courses for protection, as well as a weapon. My daughter and sister have both been attacked in the past (both know martial arts taught by me) and they are survivors because they did not hesitate to use it. Unfortunately, in neither case was there an arrest, but in both cases, the perpetrators became the victims.....never underestimate anyone!!

I feel the bottom line to get some resolution, is tougher laws and enforcing the old ones. I have known many women in my life that have been in abusive relationships and I have even gone as far as hospitalizing 2 of these worthless excuses for men, for what they did to these women. Now please do not misunderstand me...I am not a violent person, but I will not sit back and watch a man beat a woman, as dangerous of a position that I place myself in by doing so!!