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The Wounded Healer July 04, 2004 8:56 PM

I've often wondered how a healer like me could have this gift, yet also be in need of healing. This puzzled me for awhile, till I began to realize the reason why. Especially since the support group concept become so popular, the answer became obvious. Having been abused, misunderstood, depressed, and abusing myself, before truly recognizing my abilities more fully, it all began coming together, as I reached out and touched those in similar situations. AHA!" The Light turns on, and the answer is right in front of me. Many experiences later, I came upon a message explaining the tradition of the wounded healer. It seems to be an ancient custom of some shamans, to experience the things they would be helping others heal from. Well I'm surely no shaman, but I do seem to be one who has suffered, and was lucky enough to find the strength to rise above it enough to help others. We come into this life destined to learn specific lessons, some which may be related to past lives. Without compassion and insight into another's situation, the ability to offer comfort is lacking. The best way to truly understand is to know those experiences personally. Although each person's life is unique, having similar things happen has proven to be truly beneficial in the healing occupation. In this life, although I am a healer, I am also disabled. I've faced many challenges from society and beaten down many obstacles, including those I put up myself. After being rejected so many times, I'm afraid to reveal my limitations, though I do if I feel it necessary. The only attention I want on this issue is that I managed to overcome a lot of mistreatment, lack of understanding and insensitivity, to find the courage to stand as a healer and answer my life's calling. I sincerely believe I've been prepared for this service, by being given these handicapps. Problems, challenges, mistakes, obstacles, unexpected happenstance, are amazing teachers. They show us the right and wrong path to follow, if we're able to recognize, listen to, and follow them. If our intuition is developed even somewhat, we will be able to know and embrace these bringers of wisdom, knowledge, experience, and insight. With these things in mind, knowing the deep compassion, sensitivity, and understanding I've been given from having these "wounds," I can see the larger picture in the grand order of nature. In the true spirit of realization, i am able to see that these limitations, pain and suffering, are not a curse, or punnishment, but actually a gift, a blessing, because they've made me humble, compassionate, sensitive, caring, and taught me the true values of life which include acceptance, forgiving, tolerance, and patience, anong other gems of knowing and being. As a healer, I want to do the best I can. The wellbeing of others is my main concern. At 48, I see my life coming full circle, smile contentedly, and say, "Thank You." Sincerely, a humble intuitive  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
beautiful, thanks July 05, 2004 4:36 AM

Thanks so much for sharing. What a beautiful story, and so full of humility. Isn't it interesting how the deepest pain often offers the deepest gifts once the pain is healed?  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
Thanks for sharing July 05, 2004 5:14 AM

The role of the wounded healer exists in many cultures. Our suffering and pain can be the process by which we become more whole. The ancient Greeks had the model of Chiron for the wounded healer. Chiron was a centaur who was mistakenly shot by Apollo while breaking up a fight between humans and centaurs. The arrow from Apollo caused unending pain until death which is especially awful if you are an immortal being like Chiron. Since Chiron was a teacher and a healer, he tried to heal himself. He created a great base of knowledge for healing, and became known as the greatest teacher and healer among the gods. Zeus became so impressed with Chiron that he asked him if he had any wish that he could grant. Chiron asked that he be made mortal.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
A Story with Heart July 08, 2004 6:55 AM

Dear Ariel, The telling of your story is beautiful, heartfelt and deep. Your surrender to the life you've been given and the courage you display are towering. You are following the path of the shaman, defined as the path of the wounded healer, modeled by Chiron and Askelpious and brilliantly retold by our friend Scott. The path of the healer is built not in an instant, but over many lifetimes. One day, I predict, you will awaken and the role you have crafted over these many years will fit impeccably and the title of that role, shaman, will be yours. Spirit makes very few mistakes. With Many Blessings, Ron L.  [ send green star]
it is an amazingly healing experience July 08, 2004 6:04 PM

just to realize that the wounds of your life are maps that show you where to find the resources to heal and to facilitate others' healing! Thank you for your story... Caroline Myss (author) has some good insight on the role of the wounded healer.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
Thank You Everyone (Blushing) July 08, 2004 8:44 PM

Thank you everyone for your insights on my experiences and realizations. Awakening, yes, though it has begun, it's still a lifelong journey, a wondrous adventure. Some days I still wonder, get down and have doubts, other days I just KNOW, and the Light shines brightly. I am deeply humbled by your words. Honestly I don't think of myself as a Shaman, though reading those words have touched my heart. All I want is to fulfill my goals of self improvement, helping others, and protecting our earth and the rights of all, animals, plants, etc. included. Sincerely, Ariel  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
thanks for sharing July 09, 2004 9:39 AM

we are human remember. my grandmother once told me: when you stop feeling pain you are dead. we need to balance the duality of light and dark. love and hate. pain and joy. you can't have one without the other.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 July 09, 2004 2:50 PM

Holly, you're right. I say that a lot too, about duality, having known deep sorrow and great joy, despair hope, etc. It took me awhile to figure it out, but when I did, I really saw the Light. (Big Smile) I spent many years in darkness, some created for me, much created by myself. When I realized only I could fix it, I did my best to change what I could, accept what I couldn't, and let the rest be. It isn't easy, some days are still hard, but that glimmer of hope hasn't let go of me yet. (Bigger grin) There's something I'll always have, love, whether anyone knows I love them, if they know but refuse it, even if they don't care, it's ok. I still have love. I love myself enough to respect myself, and do so for others. Love is really all we have. If we don't have it, something deep within dies. I think that pain is also the inner pain, of seeing people in need, with little or no hope, guidance, or purpose, the pain of regret, the pain of a lost and frightened world. Yes. What's done is done, make the best of it, appreciate what I have, celebrate life, honor, cherish, and revel in it. My pain helps me see the Light. I am very Blessed, and truly Thankful. And yes, your grandmother was very wise. Sincerely, Ariel  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
anonymous  July 17, 2004 1:58 PM

all the spaces of wounding can become spaces of healing. thank you for your story and the reminder to embrace all that we are and experience ourselves and our guidance in its entirety! jai!  [report anonymous abuse]  [ accepted]
 July 17, 2004 7:13 PM

What's been most amazing to me is how I can still be happy, even in bad times. I've felt joy and sorrow simulteanously, which I thought was strange, and impossible, till someone told me it was ok, that I was in Balance. I couldn't be the person I am now if I hadn't gone through all that pain. How I got through it, sometimes I wonder, but when I think about it, I remember the hope I felt, and my inner voice giving me comfort, reminding me of my good qualities. I also believed my situation wouldn't last forever. So it was a blend of hope, faith, and belief in myself and better days ahead. Now I also add my spirituality, insights, knowledge and experience. Learning humility, experiencing so many things, joy, sorrow, grief, love, anguish; finding inner peace and meaning, keeps me going. These experiences are like tasting different foods, getting a well rounded education of first hand knowledge. Our lives aren't always as we planned, but we can strive to learn, appreciate, enjoy, celebrate, respect, honor, and make the best of it, by living life as fully as possible, even in an unhappy place, and realizing it isn't all bad. The joy and peace I feel, all I learned and know, all I've done, are treasures I can take with me anywhere. When I have bad days, I look back on my life, my happy times, listen to that inner voice reminding me of my good qualities, the thank you letters I have from people I helped heal, among other things I have to comfort me. I am truly blessed. They say life is what we make it, so I'm making mine the best life I can, with what I have, and staying focused on that. Acceptance is a great way of lifting a heavy load from deep within us. I still have much to learn and accomplish, mainly in personal growth, in the self improvement area. Sincerely, Ariel  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
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