START A PETITION 27,000,000 members: the world's largest community for good
START A PETITION
x
 
 
This thread is archived. To reply to it you must re-activate it.
anonymous what do you do if you don't fit in anywhere? May 21, 2008 12:35 PM

i am one of those people who seems to find it hard to fit in with any sort of category.so how do we fit in with others?i have tried to join in with others but people just seem so narrow minded with everything. i do adapt myself so maybe you could say i change my self for others but then you seem to lose your own identity.you would think that if you like all sort things it be easy to find someone who really understands you and able to get on with most people.any idea's how to this and still be yourself?or it just me with the problem?send your thoughts.  [report anonymous abuse]  [ accepted]
 
 May 21, 2008 1:16 PM

Some times I to think I will not fit in anywhere, I am liked at my job but exept for a few close freinds most of my relasonships it seem superfichel. I know part of that is the depression I suffer and find it hard to open up to people but knowing can not make you feel less lonly.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 May 27, 2008 9:36 AM

I often find myself in the same situation. No matter how hard I try to fit in I am always seen as an outsider, as the tag along that no-one really wants there. Even my so-called friends only like the things i do for them and not me as a person. I rely on sites like this one to talk to people about how I'm feeling until they have enough and cut me off. I don't know what I have to do to be accepted the way I am. I'm the kind of person that will do anything for anyone to help them out with no hidden agenda, so I can't see any reason for people to treat me this way. I am all alone with no family or friends to talk to and I'm at a point in my life where I cannot accept this anymore. Theres only 2 ways to go from here for me. I can either make a fresh start where nobody knows me or I can join family on the other side. The difficulty in this decision is if I do try to start again and don't get accepted I'm worried that my mental health will deteriorate until i'm sat as a cabbage in some institution for the rest of my life with no chance of taking the second option.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 May 28, 2008 9:12 AM

hello, i wrote the message at the top and it was nice to see when i come on people have replied and put there feelings on who are in the same situation.in my experience loneliness is the hardest thing to deal with and i don't think it be any other way for myself.i live away from family and friends and i don't have anyone close to me anymore.i found coming on here and joining groups i was able to be more myself without feeling to different from others.maybe it is the same for you guys but sharing our thoughts and feelings does help others and maybe it could help ourselves in everyday life.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 May 28, 2008 9:41 AM

I have also joined groups thinking that it would be safe amongst people of like minds - however, I am still cautious as to how much to reveal about myself and my views as in most groups there are some that are very close and friends and I just find myself listening to my gut. But above all, even if I feel a bit leary, I always am true to myself and be who I am....I may not fit it in one particular group, but, there are more out there who may just welcome us with open arms...I think the key is to just be your true authentic self and people eventually will see that and will be drawn to you as someone who is real and not fake or a put-on....  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 May 29, 2008 6:26 AM

i think thats very well said sandy your absolutely right.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
yea im lonely too June 12, 2008 9:42 AM

well ive always felt like i dont fit in and i dont think that its my own fault i dont allow myself to get close to people i always just feel secluded even amongst a lot of peopl it really sucks so i move a lot i have lived so many places and its terrible i cant seem to fit in anywhere ive lived in many different states and i have only been look ing for a friend its sad and i want a friend so bad but i dont know lonelyness blows  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 June 24, 2008 7:49 AM

Hey people, Loneliness is something that ive been carrying for a long time. I find it unfair that it is the generous hearts that usually feel so empty, so lonely and it is the big hearts that get broken! i guess that too often we give yourself away to the wrong people. i am a person who gives alot to those i care about. But yeah ive fallen hard and flat on my face many times just like all of you have awell. I am a generous person by nature.I love helping people but its taken me many many, too many falls and letdowns to finally start growing some muscles. The more i live, the more im learning that my instincts and respect for myself are the most important things. my thoughts, my actions have to reflect that. if a person or a situaton doesnt feel right with you then you've got to walk away because if i dont eventually it will hurt you or dissapoint you somehow. in my own life i do find that people respect me more when i respect myself. pretending to fit in or compromising who you really are only makes matters worse. It too often leads to anxiety, depression and you'll hate yourself even more for being weak. Im a professional bellydancer and so i feel very lucky to have that outlet. Its my best friend.. Its what keeps me from tipping over the edge sometimes.. I hope some of you can find a bit of solice in this message somehow, even though i have waffled on. Just knowing that there are others who feel disconnection makes it just a little more bearable. lots of love to you all.. Ekaterini  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
none July 06, 2008 6:55 PM

Ever since 6th grade I have had pretty much the same feelings every one has talked about on this thread. What is making me worry is that I have started lashing out at everyone that is close to me. Trying to find reasons to exclude them from my life. It is hurting my personal relationship and my professional one as well. I am generally a very happy person and am usually able to overcome these feelings. As of late though, it feels like it is becoming a burden. I would like to hear more of how people deal with it, if anyone would like to please give some help full advice.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 July 07, 2008 10:57 AM

I try to take each day as it comes and know that if one day seems too hard to manage just to ride it out as the negativity will ease and i will feel ok again soon.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 July 07, 2008 7:51 PM

In my younger days, i focused upon writing songs and singing music that expressed how i really felt within myself. Later, i became an Award-Winning Songwriter/Vocalist. So, be true to who you are and follow your Inner Star, my wonderful friends.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 July 11, 2008 8:11 PM

WE ARE REAL.. WE ARE TRUE OUR SELVES, WE ARE NOT FAKES.. WE ARE FREE SPIRTS SO WE DON,T FIT IN THE EVERYDAY CROWD..BUT OTHERS LIKE US WILL COME OUR WAY.. LOVE WHO YOU ARE..I LOVE YOU ALL FOR BEING SO STRONG..HUGS TO YOU ALL  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 July 12, 2008 1:31 AM

ok here i go.. first i hate to type. i am 51 mom of 4 boys 2 at home.. single mom.. like try and find a date.. who wants to date me my age with kids,, so i say the right guy will come along 5 years ago i lost my 16 year old,thought i was going to lose my mind..harbor the anger for years,and no one to talk to.. but thats ok i still talk to luke above moved to this bible belt town 16 months ago and no friends, not one.. ok i stick out like a sore thumb.. thats ok i love who i am.. dont want to be a fake church person anyway,,ya know the kind that say they don"t do anything wrong but look down on everyone else i put some pounds on.. thats ok.. i have more junk in the trunk..lol i am still hot.. so i tell my self..not behind on the rent, thats ok.. i wake up and look at life threw rose color glasses never,never give up.. only a 20 min pitty party,maybe some ben and jerrys ice cream..that cures all email me if you are bumming.. i will give you a call..crap my hand fell asleep typing..lol..i am here,, your new best friend.........and i mean it..we all are friends.. we all rock..so today when you look out the window.. say good moring word and put the rose color glasses on!!!!!!! we are fights like batman!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 July 12, 2008 1:34 AM

do not type with pins and needle in your hands.. you make to many type o.. smile!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 July 13, 2008 7:02 AM

Laura that is really sweet of you to offer your help like that. He,he your hand really did fall asleep, but i got what you meant. Sorry to hear about your son, and having no-one? you are so strong kind hearted to be positive about the future. I suffer from real bad anxiety. the last couple of days have been crappy. im a walking contradiction.. somedays im invincible and other days im scared of everyone and everything. i think you are right that its hard for people like us on this page to relate to every day people. im a sensitive person (i dont mean that i cry all the time). Im sensitive to whats going on around me, im sensitive to other peoples aura, i care for things, i see things and people from underneath the surface. its quite obvious that we are living in a crazy world right now. people are crazy. selfishness is an epidemic, kids believe in ipods and myspace and the local parks are empty. i just wish people were'nt so closed off from their true emotions. i wish meaningful conversations were'nt such a rarity..  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 July 13, 2008 3:06 PM

Laura, not only is it difficvult to date, after 50. It's also difficult to find a decent jog, as well. But, things do change, over tome. BELIEVE!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Loneliness Really Is Everywhere April 09, 2011 12:26 PM

I am in a community college now in a music production class and everyone there has all this studio and recording xperience. They know all about compression, and hertz and they can make all these "engineers jokes" and the teacher is all with them. I am slightly jealous of two of these guys who are thick with the teach. I don't really have anything in common with any of them and if I do try to drum a convo I can;t talk about any of that stuff, cause I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't have a car in a town where you need one, no job, and when I tried to renew old friendships with old school friends to try to meet new ones through them, they pretty much blew me off. Never called me, I had 2 call them all the time. I got 2 phone numbers from 2 guys but they don't seem too enthused over me. Just an aquaintance to them I guess. I'm thinking maybe God has no place for me here. I'm thinking a big city where there's better public transport at all times would be best for me because I want to pursue singing and I can't busk here anyway. no car,job, money. This post was modified from its original form on 09 Apr, 12:27  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
You gotta rock out YOU April 18, 2011 10:59 PM

So I found this thread searching 'jobs for people who don't fit in' and I saw that even though the article started in 2008, the last reply was only a couple of weeks ago, so I hope others get some notification or something that this thread is still going (I started an account just to say a few things). So, I found that there are many things from each person's reply that I can relate to: I'm happy and outgoing some days, yet want to crawl under the sheets and die others, I used to be jealous, and I used to want to fit into a scene. I always call myself socially retarded because I find it so hard to talk about something that isn't so serious or informational. I'm not a nerd, well, maybe a bit, but I was apart of the popular crowd in high school but feel that nobody really knows me for me. My girl knows a bit about me, but that's another thing. Anyways, I'm really into urban culture relating to fashion, art, music, everything. I'm a white suburban 22 year old who is stoked about everything that I 'shouldn't be'. But I was down at one of my favorite shops a few months back and I was talking to the owner about how 'there is no scene here'. His reply was, whether it's here (small town) or in toronto (closest big city) there isn't a scene, there's never a scene. And although he said it without life changing context. It stuck with me. So i figure, I love to see people, young or old, embody the word remix. You can try to fit in somewhere, but question what you are trying to fit into, do you actually want to be that, or would you rather be everything that you are stoked about and love? I figure, I may be contradicting to many of the things I love, enjoy, and many of the things that inspire me, but I'm going to rock it out anyways, because there is way more impact with contradiction. Just don't be fake to yourself or anyone around you. Rock out the way you want to be and the things you're into. I, like mentioned from other people, have friends, but none that are really close or that really relate to me. I figure many of the most inspiring people I envy in my life were never based on something that already happened. They were unique individuals who rocked out what they loved. So, do that. And if there are haters, its most likely because they are, or are being, or want to be something that is popular and currently exists, Yes, they may fit in, or be popular, but who gives a %#&!*%, because you are you and you are going to rock out and love every single inch of what you love. Get stoked about loving the things you do and forget haters. You are something new, something they have never seen before, and it is in our human nature to react oddly to something that isn't familiar. I get stoked to meet nerdy people or people who are suicidal or people who have had disastrous lives or people who are completely opposite to the norm, it gets me off, i get so into that person... because they are unique. I don't care how twisted or perverted or uncool or whatever they are or aren't, I just love meeting people who are not 'normal' for whatever reason. And I plan to be not normal for the rest of my life, and absolutely love it. White suburban kid who has nothing in common with his family, no true super awesome friends, but I'm going to love wearing fitted clothes, tattoos, listen to offensive hip-hop and grimy dubstep, do modern urban art, and just be so proud of the things I love, nomatter if they are twisted or weird or whatever. I'm so far from everything that everyone thinks I am, or wants me to be, and it may seem my roots are artificial, but you have to find the things your really love, the things that really get your interest and then just love yourself, and love the things you love to the fullest. If you think you don't fit, that is so cool, the coolest thing in the world and it makes you so unique, and its going to make you fit in as people see you rock out on who you are. The more you love yourself and stay true to what you believe, the more people you'll meet who love that in you, and badda boom badda bing, I think you've fit in by not fitting in :) *By haters I mean anyone who doesn't make you feel good about yourself or makes you feel like you don't fit in. *If you know where I can find a job where the average person isn't so normal, let me know. I'm in the arts, design specifically, and tattoo artist isn't an option. Just be you, if you love flood pants, rock them out, if you love eating mustard covered pogos, rock it out and love it... I guess what I'm saying is never be ashamed of who you are, never hide who you are or your interests even if its the norm for it to be odd. Even if it is severe, or illegal, I still say rock it out, it came from somewhere, and I don't believe that anyone should be able to tell you that it is wrong or right, however, it may be unfortunate if you're into illegal things and you go to jail, or you're really into something so wack that its just insane... i still say do it, because it might change someone else, it might change the world, but it should never change you. Peace, love, hope to hear some more people speak on the topic.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 April 30, 2011 11:20 AM

You find other lonely people,Hi my name is Joseph and I don't fit in anywhere. Wanna be friends?  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
  New Topic              Back To Topics Read Code of Conduct

 

This group:
Lonely people
189 Members

View All Topics
New Topic

Track Topic
Mail Preferences