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The Big Steps - The Binkie, The Bottle, Her/His own Bed???? April 27, 2007 11:05 AM

IŽm starting this thread because my son, his father and I are facing a very big step this weekend, and I know these steps are critical, so this thread could give us the opportunity to support eachother, ask for and give advice, tell stories about our experiences etc.

The big step for this weekend is our son quitting his pasifier. Mind you, this is not a thread about pros and cons regarding pasifiers - letŽs save that discussion for another thread. Saturday is his 3,5 year birthday, and we figured this would be the time to let go of the habit - and give his teeth the chance to grow normally.

We have been to the library to get books about quitting, and weŽve been reading them for the past three weeks or so. WeŽve talked about it a lot, about what it means to be big or small etc.

It seems to have worked - weŽve planted the seed and given it time to grow in him, and tomorrow is the big day!

WeŽve planned to start the ceremony by tieing the passifiers to a tree that is being used for that purpose - this way they donŽt just disappear, and he can feel that he is part of the process - and he can go "visit" them if he needs to. Then weŽre going the the toy store, so he can pick out a new toy to comfort him when he misses the passifier and make him feel big. After a month or so - as an aniversary - weŽll give him a bike - like all the big kids at the day care have.

We know it will probably not be easy for him, but we feel confident and are looking forward to get rid of the passifiers.

So - do you have any stories about this, or about any of the other big steps? Post them here

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 April 30, 2007 11:24 AM

Am I talking to myself here..?

Just wanted to give an update:

Our day went well. We went to the toy store, and from all the things in there - he chose a music box - the cheep kind with three notes When he was tucked in he cried a bit, but his dad just gace him his new toy and a couple of extra stuffed bears, and off to sleep he went.

IŽm soooo proud!!

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 April 30, 2007 6:20 PM

I'm glad this is going well for you.  My son was never interested in a pacifier.  Now he's eleven and sometimes I'd love to stuff one in his mouth!!!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 April 30, 2007 10:56 PM

My son never took a pacifier, so I have no advice. My sister in law shoved one in sugar and gave it to my nephew as soon as he came home. 2 years later he was having oral surgery to bottle rot.

My son screamed for the first three months of his life and then just became a delightful little kid.

I don't remember how they got the boys off the things, but you have surely done your homework and it is paying off.

My little brother once had a 'stinky blanket'. My mom took it from him when he was sleeping one time, washed it and put it on the clothes line. He was about 3 at the time. He pulled it off the line and peed on it, stuck his thumb in his mouth and went back to sleep right there under the clothes line. lol

Great Job!

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 May 04, 2007 9:59 PM

I am so glad it went well for you.  With my son we did it when he was about 2 1/2.  He only had it at bed time or in the car for long trips at that point but his teeth were really pushed out.  We told him the Binkie Faerie was going to come to room that night, take his binkie, and leave a present.  That night we took his binkie, I can't remember how we got it out of his mouth, but anyways we took it and put a beanie babie pig in its place.  He actually was more ready for this then we were.

My sister did things differently with her twins and it worked really well, so well that I don't know why we didn't do it.  She cut the bottom half of the binkie off and said "oops they got broken".  The girls could still have them but the comfort was gone so they didn't want them anymore.  They did take them to bed for like one night and then it was over.

I remember with both kids we could never find a binkie at night when we needed it but boy did a ton of them appear after they were done with them, under the bed, couch, in the car, garage, yard, everywhere.

Oh and by the way Erik's teeth moved back to normal very fast.  We now laugh at his crazy binkie teeth.



This post was modified from its original form on 04 May, 22:00  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 May 05, 2007 10:47 PM

This is such a good and important thread in our little people lives, I'm going to pin it and just changed the title a little.

Thanks so much for starting it.

Let me know if there are other subject that you think need to addressed and kept for reference so that new and old members do not have to try to search the archives for answers or questions.

Thanks

Christy

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 May 07, 2007 7:18 AM

Signe, you are doing so well with this! You should be very proud of yourself and your child. My son didn't have a pacifier. They tried to give him one in the hospital when he was born but he would always spit it out. He didn't have a bottle either, he was breast fed. We were following a child lead weaning so by eighteen months he was only having a night feed. He was finally completely weaned due to a medical emergency when he was nearly two. Very upsetting at the time but it became fine surprisingly quickly. The bed thing has been an issue for us until very recently though. We tried him in a bassinet when he was first here. He would go to sleep relatively easily but would wake after about five minutes if he couldn't move to touch me. If he touched me, he wouldn't wake. So I decided to bow to the obvious: he needed more contact and reassurance. So we co-slept. We put his cot by our bed - so that it was an extension of our bed, but his place of preference was in the middle He moved into his own bed a couple of years ago when it was just too crowded and I was finding myself trying to sleep in the cot! LOL! Now he comes back into our bed first thing in the morning and has another half an hour of napping in the middle. It is working well for us. There were moments when I despaired of ever getting our bed back, or of ever getting a nights sleep without feet and arms draped all over me. Sure I knew that he probably wouldn't be doing it when he was eighteen but I didn't know quite how we were going to get from where we were to there. We introduced the idea of his own bed in the adjoining room when he was about six, which he liked as a notion. He would go to sleep there quite happily but would come into our bed by 2am. This time there was no cot for me to leak into! I know that six seems old for co-sleeping for heaps of people but it was working for us in general. My son had been very nervous of separating and I decided to do it at his pace, it was the least I could give him it seemed to me. Now we have some fairly lights up in his room which are his night lights, and they are on a timer. He is allowed into our bed when they go off. We started it with them going off just a little later than he would come into our bed. Slowly we have extended the time. Now we are up to about 7:15 which is just great. It has taken a while but we are all happy with the way we have done it. Sometimes with these sorts of issues I find that how well it goes depends on my commitment to the change. If I am determined then my son doesn't fight me on it at all. The fight disappears, it is weird. Peace, Fi  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 May 07, 2007 9:55 AM

One of my points of advise to all new moms is  ween them before they can climb out fo the crib. YOu have three days of hell and then they find the most wonderful gift you will ever give them and they will keep it thru their whole lives. TEACH THEM TO GO TO SLEEP ALONE, ALL BY THEMSELVES.

I wonder if this production going on for years is not the best way to give him peace. You know?

It just seems that there are so many things that he has to worry about and they keep changing. When the end result you are looking for is the same.

He sounds like he knows it too. He is looking for boundaries and LIKES it when you give them to him. As you say, when you put your foot down, he responds well.

All Children need boundaries. They should not be bothered with negotiating ther own lives just yet.

Heck my  baby just turned 18 and still asks me what time I want him home at nite. Maybe so he can argue andother 30 munites out of me and feel he has won.

I had the same problem when my son was little. My husband was the one that wanted him in our bed or would lay down with him to get him to take a nap. He would say, OK now I'm only going to lay here for 5 minutes and then you have to take your nap. Of course they both spend the after noon in a snoring contest.

I finally had to make an appointment with a psychologist whol told us that we were stunting his emotional growth . Not sure I believe everything thing they say, but it helped us on this one.

Good LuckChristy

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 May 07, 2007 12:09 PM

Thank you all for taking this thread up - itŽs turning out to be really interesting!!

We weaned our son when he was almost one. He would hardly ever eat anything but my milk, and it got so bad that only I could comfort him when he was upset... HeŽd practically use me as a passifier during the night and drink so much heŽd wet himself and we had to get up and change everything before we could get the sleep we so sorely needed.

Weaning went very well. I went to visit my mom, and father and son went on a trip on their own, so we were seperate for little over a week, and that pretty much did it.

My son has his own room and sleeps in his own bed. That has been working great for us since he was two and a half, when we moved to a new place with a room for him. Earlier his bed was in our bedroom, and he had a hard time understanding that he couldnŽt come over into our bed. We worked really hard with this from when he was about two. WeŽd tuck him in and leave - heŽd cry, weŽd wait for about five minutes, then come in and comfort him, leave, wait another five minutes etc untill heŽd fallen asleep. Some nights were really hard, heŽd keep it going for EVER, and I felt like biting him, . If he heard sounds from our bed, heŽd stand up jumping to get over to us, and I just knew thereŽd be no sleep that night -

Eventually - after what felt like forever - he learned it. Now he is very comfortable going to sleep on his own. We use about half an hour tucking him in, reading a story, singing, getting dressed for bed etc, and thatŽs it Of course there are times when he gets up, but we just tuck him back in with a smile..

My life has felt a lot easier after he learned to go to sleep on his own!! A lot!!!!

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