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What is Love?
14 years ago
| Blue Label
What is this thing we call "love"? The very basic mechanism we establish (or supposed to establish) a relationship on? How do you know when you "love" someone? How do you know when you are "in love" with someone? Is it truly possible to love someone more than "yourself"? I expect this one to carry one for awhile... Welcome all...
Ahhh ...
14 years ago

the basic question:  What is love? 

It's hard to define, but you definitely know when you are in it.  I've been in and out of love about a billion times. 

Reminds me of that song...
14 years ago
from...  damn..  what was his name??
14 years ago
Is it this song . . ."What is Love, Baby Don't Hurt me, Don't Hurt me, No more . . ."??
Ya know that song you bob your head to as you sing it . . .
Yeah Caroline!
14 years ago

I got that song too when reading the posting subject (and now it's looping in my head) We have it in an e-card: (warning, it'll drive you insane) Love is what I felt when those guys in SNL started bobbing their heads!!

14 years ago

Love is something that I consider a strong affection and I don't believe that love starts out as love in most relationships. Love is something aquired over time, from when one first meets a friend until the day it hits them...omg I don't think I could honestly live without him/her...and they realise that their emotions and lives are so tied together in their mind that to be with out the other would hurt deeply.  Of course I could just be speaking for myself and otherwise be full of it  

The above doesn't really answer the question it seems, but it is a very difficult question and such a personal one as well that it would be hard to fully describe.

14 years ago
Camilla, lol! So glad to know I wasn't the only one thinking that! Hmmm, perhaps I should use that e-card to invite people . . . Nah, I would get too much hate mail.

Lilly, I think you did an excellent job describing love. Better than what I could have come with! And I think it is something that is acquired over time. Love is something that grows and develops, I think only rarely does it just happen "overnight".

BTW, Welcome to the board both you, I think you are both are our first "official" members!
Word association
14 years ago
Strange, most people thought..."what is love, baby don't hurt me"....and I had ..."is this love, that I'm feeling"...start going through my head...go figure lol
14 years ago
This was part of my wedding vows... the second part is a traditional Apache Prayer:

Love is a chain;
a chain of emotions
Link by Link to each other
Starting with caring
From Caring to friendship
From friendship to understanding
From understanding to respect
From respect to liking
From liking to love
From love to forever

Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there will be no loneliness;

for each of you will be companion to the other

Now you are two persons,
but there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
to enter into the days of your togetherness,
And may your days be good,
and long upon the earth.

What a great thread to start with....
14 years ago
I guess we are talking about love in a relationship and not about the "ultimate love" in general, though I believe that basically there is not really any difference between them...

My philosophy...
I believe that love is always within us. It has nothing to do with our external-world. We perceive our external world through our 5 senses always in the same way, but the meaning we give to what we perceive and how we feel about it, always happens within.
We believe in the illusion that external things give us feelings because they are usually triggering it, but in fact the feeling is created only within.
How often we feel while dreaming when the external world is not there... how often we can feel just by having a thought... how often an emotion takes over and makes us behave as we do... and how often, when love takes over, everything around us is being effected...
So it is not the external world that give us love - it is us that create it and give it to our external world...

How do we know that we love someone?... I don't know... but we surely know when we love if we are aware of the motives that makes us create it... we can see it on the results of our actions!

Is it truly possible to love someone more than "yourself"?... a very good question... Yes!!! but only if we create the love for pure reasons and not for loving this "feelings of love".
(the ego thing... you know..)

Robert Crumb said once...
"I've just thought of something brilliant!! Let's all stop playing EGO GAMES right now! Okay? No more EGO GAMES when I say "go"!.....


WOW!!! Now wasn't that a great idea?..........................

OOPS!!!!!!! "


The song and the card ...
14 years ago
Hilarious!  I've never heard that song before.  And yes, Camilla, I kept watching and listening until it DID drive me insane!  I can't wait to send that one to someone
Uno, you may send it to me...
14 years ago
What is love?
14 years ago

I don't necessarily agree that love grows over time.  From personal experience, I know I've been hit squarely in the face with it.  I think it depends on the person and maybe the person's past experiences.  It's totally out of one's control. 

As for giving my life for someone I love ... I KNOW I would do this for my kids.  I can unqualifiedly say this. 

I'm not sure about dying for, maybe, it's really hard to say with any kind of certainty.  But there have been times where the person I was in love with was in some kind of ... situation ... and I'll jump right in there without a second thought.  I think that most of us would do that - put ourselves in danger for someone we love.  It's instinct more than anything else. 

Good afternoon/morning, Amos!
14 years ago
I will do that post-haste! 
Good afternoon/morning Uno!
14 years ago
My BeeLoved one is dead scared of dogs, but when a big angry dog tried to attack me she jumped right in between. She was shaking for hours after that... then it was my turn to comfort her.... I agree, it's instinct more than anything else. As for giving our life for someone we love - well we'll never know till we are there... and then it will be too late to tell anyone. ar
This is the song!!
14 years ago

What Is Love?
by Howard Jones

I love you whether or not you love me
I love you even if you think I don’t
Sometimes I find you doubt my love for you
But I don’t mind
Why should I mind, Why should I mind

What is love anyway, does anybody Love anybody anyway
What is love anyway, does anybody Love anybody anyway

Can anybody love anyone so much that they will never fear
Never worry never be sad
The answer is they cannot love this much nobody can
This is why I don’t mind you doubting

What is love anyway, does anybody Love anybody anyway
What is love anyway, does anybody Love anybody anyway

And maybe love is letting people be just what they want to be
The door always must be left unlocked
To love when circumstance may lead someone away from you
And not to spend the time just doubting

What is love anyway, does anybody Love anybody anyway
What is love anyway, does anybody Love anybody anyway
What is love anyway, does anybody Love anybody anyway
What is love anyway, does anybody Love anybody anyway
What is love anyway, does anybody Love anybody anyway
What is love anyway, does anybody Love anybody anyway

hit squarely in the face with it
14 years ago
Uno, I know totaly what you mean! Meeting my husband hit me like a tonne of bricks! I was still a teen at the time, and only met him the once before I went home and told my mom that ' I met my husband today!!!' ....
We went on one date, where we we arguing about where we would live after the wedding ... just a for-gone conclusion. Then I went to Europe for 2 months, came back, and moved in with him after two more. And we were married four months after that.... 8 months from the day we met.
Now I realize that these whirlwind romances NEVER work... and don't you worry I'm on the look out for trouble....
But he's held my soul in his hand for 13 years so far .....we can barely manage an eight hour workday apart....   so ... so far so good I guess
OOOOOhh Tom,
14 years ago

I'm a huge Howard Jones fan.....great song, that one!

The other song that was being referred to was by Brit pop singer "Haddaway"....

(sorry, I'm a bit of music encyclopedia!)

What is love?

It's that feeling you get when somebody makes your insides go "ahhhhhhhhh"....

I wrote this about the 1st person I had feelings for after my divorce
14 years ago

I had been married for some 20 years to a flat out b@stard. I learned a great deal about life, love and compatibility.

What do you think?

Letter To A Friend


I will tell you a secret that very few people come to understand. I will tell you and, I know you. You will sit and listen quietly and probably make no response at all, but you will hear me. You said I could tell you anything. I remember laughing then. Sure. You have this image of me that is, well, not totally accurate. I’d love to change it for you.


But this is not what I wanted to tell you. I came to tell you that, when it comes to Love, there are two types of people: Those who learn about sex and power, they learn technique, for good or bad, and they learn manipulation. Then there are those who proceed from their mother’s womb knowing how to love. They don’t need to learn anything because they know from the beginning how to let people inside themselves and, in turn, how to open a soul and crawl

inside someone and reside there forever, (even after they are gone, if they ever leave).


The Former; they can do without “sex” in their relationship. They can take it or leave it. But the power it gives them; that is another matter.  They yearn for the power. There is no intimacy, just an exercise of power, benign or malignant, in someone else’s heart. Sex is a tool or a weapon. These people could come and go in your life and the benign exercise of power leaves no trace on you, the malignant leaves scars.


Oh, but the Latter, this type of person doesn’t equate sex with power. She sees sex as intimacy and not the only form of intimacy. For these people, love is like breath and it sometimes includes a touch. Their fingers don’t stop at your skin and their lips don’t stop at your mouth. They fall, soft as an angel’s sigh, to the center of your soul and you may not even notice their presence, they are so gentle with your heart. Not at first. But you begin to see that they are part of you. They are with you in spirit when they aren’t in the flesh. This is because they have taken up residence in your soul, where they tend the hurts from day to day living with gentle, fairy hands. When the Latter type is in love, she can’t ‘take or leave’ sex, because sex is part of the loving process. That is one of the reasons you come together: to love, to make love.


When a Former One meets a Latter One, he knows there is something here he will never see again. He knows it in his cold and brittle heart and sees it in an apparition. Like fog, he cannot grasp it, he can’t get a firm hold on this thing. The Latter One is just as capable of opening him up and crawling inside him as she would be her own kind. But she won’t be happy there, where there is no fire to keep her warm, so she will leave, and he will know he was briefly full and now he is empty (or she is empty if the Former One was a woman).


They can be empty, though, these sort of people. Because when a Latter One takes up residence in their soul, it does what it can to keep warm in that cold, dank place. It will build a fire, but the fire goes out. It will open a window to let in the warm sunshine, but the shutters are drawn and locked against it. Building fires and forcing windows is painful to the Former One and emptiness is preferable to pain. They are much happier with their own kind, these Former Ones. They may play each technique against the other in their relationship and do no damage, for they both recognize the elements of their love to be control.


But when a Latter One meets a Latter One, here is where everything real and profound and beautiful happens. Latter Ones are stupid, though, sometimes. They do not recognize their own kind. But I? I have escaped from a twenty year sojourn through the cold soul of a Former One. I know them well. And, true to my type, it took time to learn the lesson.


You, my sweet friend, are a Latter One, like me. And true to your type, you cannot see me as I am. So you don’t yearn for my touch. But if you understood, if you knew what you are and you knew what I am, you would, as I do, lie awake at night with your heart calling out to God for a chance to love one of your own.




14 years ago
"Love Was Here"

Baby tonight
If you come home
I'll make it right oh no
Love was here and gone

I ask myself
Now why have I been dreaming
2 bring imaginary
Real 2 life
I've done some searchin'
And prayin'
That you would always be stayin' (oh)
And I would learn
Learn 2 treat you right yeah

(So if)
So if you ask yourself
Does he really love me
(Yes I do)
Will I be true
Throughout the time
(Ask yourself)
Do I know how 2 take good care of you
The answer that I truly love you
(And I really need you)
Will pop right in your mind

Love was here Baby
But now you're gone So far gone
Baby please Baby please
Please come home

Love was here Love was here
But you're gone
Baby please Baby
Just come back home Come home, come
home, come home
Come on home
Come on home Um....

I've given you a reason
Let me know (um yeah)
2 make your leave, it must have been
That I don't show
(You love)
You love the way you need
So girl I can't complain
Let's try to work it out
My heart's truly ashamed
(So if)
So if you ask yourself
Does he really love me
(Yes I do)
Will I be true
Throughout the time
(Ask yourself)
And do I know how 2 take good care of you
(Well, well)
The answer that I truly love you
(And I really need you)
Would pop right in your mind

Come home Come home come home
(Come on home Girl just come on home
come on home) This time I'll do you right
Let's ignore the
fuss and fight
Just come back home

Try to bring us back girl
So don't you ever leave

I used to love you But you're gone
I wanna hold you So come back home
I wanna be with you You and I alone
So baby please Oh

I used to love you But you're gone
I wanna hold you Please come back home
I wanna be with you I wanna be with you
So baby please Baby come back come
back home
Love was here yeah
Now you're gone
Baby please now
Come home come
14 years ago
Anon E.
That was an amazing letter!!! It really made me think. Thank you for sharing it.
Define love?
14 years ago

Love doesn't hurt!


Yes ... amazing ...
14 years ago

I wish I knew if I were a former or a latter.  I'd like to think I'm a latter, but I think others often mistake me for the former. 

Anyway, I'm overanalyzing that beautiful piece of writing.  Thanks, Anon ... truly. 

I promise
14 years ago
I promise to read this whole thread through after I get some work done here. Anon E. Can't wait to especially read your letter I too have learned TONS from all the toxic people in my "past life". Looking back, I would not have wished it to be any different, as when you find, real, honest, pure, love, you recognize it, and learn to leave the unhealthy so called ones that say they love you, but don't know how to without poisoning you, alone (obvoiusly, nothing is perfect, but love does not hurt hurt you purposely!!). As the saying goes, "I Know Your Pain"!!!
14 years ago
Love. I think there's the emotion humans refer to as Love, and then there's pure, divine Love. My view is that the emotion 'most' people feel and call Love is a selfish thing based on all kinds of conditions (when is the last time someone 'fell in love' with someone they considered to be physically ugly?), while pure, divine Love has no conditions. It's not called "the game" of Love for nothing I realize humans have physical attractions, and emotional attractions, and we use those attractions as a compass in choosing a partner/mate/friend/whatever ... but there are some, like myself, who believe it's the physical and emotional attraction that humans are supposed to overcome - not satisfy - so that they can know divine Love instead. What is divine Love? Well, to me, it's when one can view and treat every single living thing, not just themselves and "loved ones," as an extention of themselves. Divine Love, imo, is what everyone is so desperately seeking - not a Love based on conditions. After all, who doesn't want someone to love them without conditions? And what human can deliver that? .
Oh! NN,
14 years ago
"Love doesn't hurt" ........... Yes ! I was going to say "Love means never having to say you're sorry" - which means the same thing – but that sounded too "Love Story" cheesey There is no human love that doesn't hurt. In fact, it's the only Love that does. .
14 years ago
To me love is something that changes in my life as I grow. I used to believe that I was in love with the world, I felt such inner peace with myself. Now, I don't feel that anymore and I don't know why.
The love for my family is different for the love I have for Joel. I don't know if I could EXIST without Joel. Which I suppose that sounds rather needy, but I just can't imagine having the will to want to live without my total and utter best friend in my life. I also believe that God or whatever surpreme being is out there is Love. It is the total absence of hate. It is the light, the true divine love, the thing we all strive to be, but as humans we tend to fall short. Unless maybe we are Buddha or Ghandi or someone like that . . .
I think I have become distanced from the idea of love in the last year or two. Perhaps I have been "in love" too long and it has become mundane, I don't know.  Love no longer equals passion for me. It is much more quieter in my soul. Maybe I just love without thinking consciously about it.
Well, that is my rant on love for now. A few months later, I may be thinking something entirely different!!
And on Love Hurting
14 years ago
I don't think Love itself hurts, but it is rather the absence of love that is so painful. Or when your partner uses your love against you, that hurts. Love should never be a weapon, just a pure form of expression and feeling. 
My Love
14 years ago

Love...hmmm...kinda deep for a 21yo, but well, here goes. Something i could never understand but it makes me do crazy sh*t jst for the person i love even though i didnt even realized i loved him. makes me feel so hollow and empty and aching when we're apart. makes me howl in pain and in laughter...makes me feel happy and contented and at peace with the world.

It is that fluttery mushy sappy feeling i feel when i look at my husband asleep like a baby beside me while i read my books. That something that makes a tomboyish, taekwondo trained, rugged girl like me, get up early in the morning (when i usually wake up 9) jst to cook and prepare breakfast and be womanly to that big log of a guy who invaded my world.

Something that made me open up my heart, my home and my soul to an awfully wonderful person. and That something which makes me stay when he's being one helluva b*astard.and i mean B*ASTARD. Its that feeling that makes a normally spoiled and possesive brat like me share her life, room, bed and toys joyfully and gladly. u go define jst makes life a lot more beautiful and colorful

Love to me means
14 years ago

For me love means having someone who accepts you exactly the way you are. 

You can accept one another for their strengths as well as weaknesses, perfections and faults and only see them as beautiful.

When I first saw this thread I thought of the song from Foreigner "I wanna know what love is"

14 years ago
You're right, I think, but it's only "human love" that can be absent – divine love is always there whether or not one knows it, feels it, seeks it, or finds it. .
14 years ago

Love is the strangest emotion. You feel it always for someone. There a number of 'loves'. They are all good, innocent and sometimes naive.

Love is this feeling that hits you for that on person and makes you the strangest things for him/her. Then if you picked wrongly it breaks your heart.

I don't think people can live without love... Whether he is the former or the latter.

I think one of many answers is provided by the movie "love actually".

14 years ago
That is such a beautiful poem, thank you for sharing it!!
Just gorgeous Amos!
14 years ago

Bee is a lucky woman -- and you are obviously a lucky man!

Sweet, Amos ...
14 years ago
I think love sometimes DOES hurt... and sometimes you SHOULD have
14 years ago

to say you are sorry. But what love DOESN'T mean is LIVING in a place of pain. Love DOESN'T mean living in a state of constant betrayal. Love doesn't mean trusting blindly or fooloshly or accepting unacceptable toxic behavior because because you "Love Him/Her".

I know some of you are not Bible readers, but there is a dissertation on how love DOES behave in there. It's at 1 Corinthians 13. I love it. And while it is talking about 'divine love' (agape' - K. Gk - that is, love based on principle) those thoughts and principles are equally applicable to the love we should feel for one another. Romantic love simply adds another layer to it. It doesn't take anything away.

THe thing is, if someone is treating you badly, they don't lovbe you no matter what they say. It may be because they don't know how you treat others lovingly or it may be because they simply don't love you, but you have something they want. People who love you treat you well.

There is a REASON the phrase was coined "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."

This isn't rocket science. Love acts a certain way and it he/she ain't acting that way it aoin't love no matter what he/she says!

Just for reference - 1st Corinthians reads like this:
14 years ago

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels but do not have love,

I have become a sounding [piece of] brass or a clashing cymbal. 

And if I have the gift of prophesying and am acquainted with

all the sacred secrets and all knowledge, and if I have all the faith so as to transplant mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

And if I give all my belongings to feed others, and if I hand over my body,

that I may boast, but do not have love, I am not profited at all.


Love is long-suffering and kind.

Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, 

does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests,

does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury.

It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth.


It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.


Love never fails.

But whether there are [gifts of] prophesying, they will be done away with; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will be done away with. 

For we have partial knowledge and we prophesy partially;

but when that which is complete arrives, that which is partial will be done away with.


When I was a babe, I used to speak as a babe, to think as a babe, to reason as a babe; but now that I have become a man, I have done away with the [traits] of a babe.

For at present we see in hazy outline by means of a metal mirror, but then it will be face to face. At present I know partially, but then I shall know accurately even as I am accurately known.


Now, however, there remain faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.. . .

I Corinthians 13, that is
14 years ago
My apology,
14 years ago
I've deleted my post "My Crystal Ball". I wasn't comfortable with it being on the net. ar
It was very pretty Amos
14 years ago
Thanks for sharing, even if briefly.
Amos...never apologize
14 years ago

for following your heart in order to do what's right!  I feel very privileged to have read it, but completely understand that you might have wanted it removed.

Thanks Guys
14 years ago
Love between two persons is a very personal thing. I believe that we can love more than one person at the same time, I know I can, but it is always only between me and the one I love. In my relationship I am completely monogamous, but I can't help it loving those who touch my heart. As I said before, I don't need to have everything I love. Things are good as they are. Having the feeling is more then enough. ar
I agree, it is extremely personal :- )
14 years ago

I believe when any one of us speaks of our personal feelings and experiences of love, it is our copyright....not one single other person can feel or have the same as we ourselves do.

For instance, when I say "Love does not hurt", I mean, the people currently in my life.  May it be romantic/partner love, or deep-frienship love, I can honestly say that I am totally respected, and my heart is held very softly in their hands. Exactly how I am to them. I have never been hurt by these people, and trust me, I too (like all of you) have been hurt so bad in the past, that I never thought I could find the love the surrounds me today. It's taken a lot of analyzing and reading to know it can be a possible place for all of us.

I have a future husband (any month now!) that has never hurt me...he is a man I prayed for 10 days before I met him, and I saw a circle of light around his head. In this, I knew.... I know it was a devine intervention as, I've had a couple in my time and they are powerful..  I actually knew the first time we spoke on the phone after a friend put us together, that he was the nicest man I ever laid ears on. We talked of marriage a month and a half later (its been three years, but long distance relationships can be drawn out) I as well have a couple of SPECTACULAR gal friends that were as well, sent from Heaven. They have all taught me unbelievable lessons on love.

All of the liars, and users are not in my life...

I've gone through heck to have these wonderful people in my life, and learned that someone continuously hurts you (in my case emotionally), and keeps doing the things you ask they don't, knowing it hurts you deeply, and they do not, then they should not be in our lives to continue it. Of course there is unconditional love one can have for these people, but, to actively keep them in our lives, means distruction of our soul. You will NEVER know what you are capable of being and doing in this world until you shake them all lose. I know, as I've had ill'ness in the past that I know was brought on by these relationships, starting from parents, siblings and friends that live dysfuntionally.

We are not perfect, but we deserve to get the love we give and vice versa.

(I don't know why my Fiances computer does not allow me to call up Care2 emoticons *cries and cries)

By the way
14 years ago
I have a ton of "self-help" books that I am putting up for sale :- ) One thing I hope never goes away is Oprah. Over the years, that wonderful lady has helped me evaluate more in my life than anyone I've ever come in contact personally. Maybe oneday I will get a chance to visit her show in Chicago. I actually haven't watched her show the past couple of years, things tend to get recycled after a while.
14 years ago
I've gone through heck to have these wonderful people in my life, and learned that someone continuously hurts you (in my case emotionally), and keeps doing the things you ask they don't, knowing it hurts you deeply, and they do not listen <-----should have been!
ok, an hour later
14 years ago

And something just occurred to me.

There are different levels of hurt.

I take I've been so deeply hurt in the past(growing up in a very dysfunctional home, but not as much as some others I've heard of late :- ( ) that things that would hurt others, are minor to me, and I shake off. That's been a big one for me of late. It took a lot to get there, but its slowly crept to this point.

It's okay, Amos ...
14 years ago

And I agree with everything you said up there.  Although I have absolutely no qualms saying in public, "I you, Amos." 

NN ...
14 years ago

I think love hurts sometimes ...

By the way, congratulations on your impending doom ... I mean marriage.  

Sorry!  I really am inappropriate sometimes, but I do wish you and Caroline - who are about to embark on a future with someone - and newlyweds like Ging, the best of luck.  May you all have long and happy lives with your loved ones.  Seriously. 

Don't be silly!
14 years ago

It's never inappropriate to crack a joke I'd have it no other way my dear!

I thank you so much for wishing us happiness... It means a lot!!!

I don't think love is easy, you know... It's much work, as individuals and as separate beings.

It's not clingy, you have to know/find yourself, and, then learn how to then come together as one with as little disruption between the two.

14 years ago

Uno (June) said:

"NN ... 

I think love hurts sometimes ..."

Yes, June, I agree with can hurt bad, real, real, bad.

When Frank (my Fiance & the original NN....a truly amazing human being!) came in from the Shop last night, I asked him "Honey, have I ever hurt you?" He gave me a look I've yet to see!.. When I explained my response here, he immediately understood, and I believe, was releaved. He's a message board pioneer (from its birth), so, he very much understands the online world at hand. Unfortunately, these days he uses the web for business only, and its doubful I can intice him to post here. So, his answer was a resounding "No!". We discussed the issue down the avenue of how and why people get and feel hurt, and agreed we are quite a bit more evolved than the average person, though, we are always seeking to improve ourselves. Remember, being evolved, is hardly perfection...and to try and strive for perfection is senseless and would be boring. I believe there is no such thing,'s all a mind game, if you may. Something you must know, a long distance relationship for two years gave us the opportunity to discuss almost every aspect of life, turn over all the stones we felt we needed to, and analyze things to death (though we never really felt that way). When you love someone you make things work no matter how difficult it could get. So, I closed my eyes, listened to his heart, and made the best of it. We would often discuss how, in one "date night", a phone conversation of 7 hours, we talked (and listened) at least 5-6 additional hours than a couple that were physically together, lets say at a movie and dinner. The first mouth before meeting, we spoke intenesly...100 hours of sheer delightment. I knew he was either going to be my best friend for life, or the man I was going to love for an eternity. Each of us feels like we were once in a Hell we crawled out of, spent many years working on ourselves, without romantic relationships getting in the way, and we came together as healed, and complete (as were going to get for awhile). I'm not saying either of us won't ever be hurt in this relationship, but up until this day, a moment does not go by that one of us lets it get that way. This is us....

(I must say, he makes this relationship so easy for me...I give his wonderful, giving, heart all the credit. One of the biggest attractions I've had to him was and still is, the way he treats others... )

Here are some questions we came up with!:

Did it build up over time or did you feel it smack you dead in the face?

Does your partner take responsibility for your hurt, or reject that he/she helped to cause it?

Does your partner blame you for their hurt, or for you feeling hurt?

Is hurt always our partners fault?

Are you equally responsible? 

Do we tend to not take responsibility for our hu

14 years ago

."What is Love, Baby Don't Hurt me, Don't Hurt me, No more . . ."??

I don't find the song annoying in itself... I recall watching the skit on SNL over and over again having the tendensy to get annoying

14 years ago
I believe that LOVE is a living breathing entity that must be nurtured and allowed to change and grow as all human beings change and grow.  Love is realizing that your own wants and desires are no longer the most important needs in your life, but rather, that the happiness of another can actually make your heart flourish. 
14 years ago

This was my wedding song and I do belive the third stanza speaks well of love. When You Wish Upon A Star ~ sung by Jimny Cricket When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are Anything your heart desires will come to you If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme When you wish upon a star as dreamers do (Fate is kind, she brings to those who love The sweet fulfillment of their secret longing) Like a bolt out of the blue, fate steps in and sees you thru When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true
14 years ago
I Love that Bijou   's
14 years ago

So true... having unselfish love for each other, allows one to know they are held higher than any other human being. Can even help show a partner that has had troubles reaching that point of love, how it feels, and allow them to wish to be less selfish, even if it's the first time in their life. When in love being open for positive change, almost as if we were one huge open pore is so important. That saying comes to mind... We live and learn, and just when we get to the point of learning it all, life is over....

It sure is a journey, isn't it? 

14 years ago
so true
What is love
14 years ago
I'm stil waiting to find out what love is...I had it many many moons ago with a guy (too long ago to remember).  Unfortunately, I was too young and probably not sure enough of myself to recognize it until too late, but that man really loved ME (through words and actions).  The silver lining is that it did teach me a few lessons, about love and caring, and now I find myself wondering if it is out there.  I tend to run into types who hurt and take no responsibility for it, so I'm trying the best I can to love myself more so that if and when love does find me hopefully I'll be ready..
wow Debbie
14 years ago

That really hit home for me....

What you've just said, was me at one time....

I realized it wasn't the right time for me, I wasn't ready, it wasn't meant to be,

The one for me came waaaaaaaaay later...after mucho exploration of myself... Then, the frustration set in.... where is "he", I am ready". I did a lot of soul searching on that alone and lots of prayer.... When "it" came, it all made sense. A lot more suffering had to happen before it could happen

Your on the right track... try no to get knocked off...

It will come......


What is love 10:58 PM
I'm stil waiting to find out what love is...I had it many many moons ago with a guy (too long ago to remember).  Unfortunately, I was too young and probably not sure enough of myself to recognize it until too late, but that man really loved ME (through words and actions).  The silver lining is that it did teach me a few lessons, about love and caring, and now I find myself wondering if it is out there.  I tend to run into types who hurt and take no responsibility for it, so I'm trying the best I can to love myself more so that if and when love does find me hopefully I'll be ready..  [

ok... I'll answer before I read anything,
14 years ago

because if I do, I'll never get out of here!

There are many sorts of love.

There is this thing called "love" that has nothing to do with love - the 'love' used to hurt people and punish people and blackmail people - "you do it if you love me" - "I stay in my hopeless marriage because I love him" - "I have to get my girlfriends boyfriend, because I LOVE him!" - "You don't do it, if you love me" - "I love you and that's why I hurt you - you'll thank me later"

There is the love we feel towards our families - love that has grown by time, and is more a habit than "real" love. "Of course I love..." is usually the way to express this kind of love. Significant is that you have know the person you love for a veeeeery long time, and actually you aren't sure if you LIKE this person or not.

There is the love we have towards our close friends - the love that makes your heart sing - you feel warm and fuzzy all over yourself, suddenly your soul has grown a thick, velvety fur, just because you think of this person. Just being with this person makes you feel safe and calm and to know that everything is all right. There is nothing you are afraid to say or do, because you know that this person loves you and accepts you as you - you know it so surely, that you don't even think about it. You can trust this person with everything - both the things that are dear to you, but also things that aren't - this person knows the difference. It's ok to disagree and it's ok to quarrel. This is to be kindred spirit.

There is the erotic love - it's not lust. It is what you feel when you don't mind HOW your sex partner looks like, you just love to have sex with him or her. You wouldn't necessarily want to share your LIFE with this person, but of all the people in the world, it's this person you would have sex with. The sex doesn't even need to be exceptionally good.

Then there is lust - you would have sex with this person even if he/she was unconscious. You would walk 10 miles in a blizzard just to have sex with this person. You would walk 10 miles in a blizzard with a broken foot just to have sex with this person. And throw in a couple of earth quakes and wild horses too. You don't even KNOW what kind of person this is, and actually would prefer that he/she wouldn't talk. It would actually work to get a full-size look-a-like silicone doll.

there is the love of specific things, like objects, senses, actions - "I love food" - "I love chocolate" - "I love the lonely nights that smell books" "I love the way your hair looks in moonlight" - "I love reading" - "I love that tv-show!" - This kind of love isn't very deep - it just signifies our great liking of something, that we really enjoy something. I don't think anyone would actually KILL for chocolate, even though a lot of people SAY that.

Then there is passion - when we love something so much we fell totally into it. Passion has something desperate in it. We might not KILL for it, but we would DIE without it.

There is affection - "love light" one could call it. Instead of "loving it" we "like it". It also stands for some sensibility. We are fully aware of the downsides of the object of our affection, but we like it anyway. Actually, often the object of affection is likable only by ourselves. Like a dear teddybear, with all the fur worn off, or the scabby mutt of our memories, with only one eye, and only three fully working legs, but whole heart of purest gold.

There is desire, that is kind of impossible love. Often it is something we THINK we would love, if we had it. Sometimes we are right, but often wrong - it's like the dog chasing cars - it wouldn't know what to do with it, if it even caught one... and most often the dreams and fantasies are much, much better than the "real thing".

There is devotion - that we have promised and taught ourselves to love something and are so used to it, it has become another nature. This kind of love is usually totally blind to the faults of the object of our love. It is also very consuming. There isn't much space in our lives to anything else but the object of devotion, and we loose ourselves into the devotion.

There is the foolish enamoration - one uses a lot of superlatives to describe one's feelings, and usually says that one is totally CRAZY about this person, or BEWITHCHED by this person - to describe that the love one feels is sudden, unexplainable, mindless, out of controll, and gets one to do things one wouldn't normally do. Teenagers normally love this way. Their everlasting love is gone tomorrow, and replaced with some other "twinsoul", "mr. Right", "Prince Charming" or "The One and Only True Love".

There is attraction that isn't love at all. We just see someone, and like what we see. But it might grow into love.

There is idolizing - that isn't love either. It is called love though. The usual subject is a girl at her teens, and the usual object is someone who is "really handsome" (and really famous) and simply for that reason has all the good qualities one can imagine. If one could only marry him one wouldn't ever need or want anything else, and if one actually got to MEET this person... one would probably faint. At least one would blush and do all kinds of nervous and embarrassing things and couldn't be able to say anything but maybe "HI!" with high-pitched voice and followed with giggle-attack. One collects EVERYTHING one can lay one's hands on, and surrounds oneself with this - the room of the idolizer is wallpapered with pictures of the object - or if one is too old to dare, one has a website of this person... Perhaps even a computer modified portrait of "me and him/her".

Then there is something called 'love' that makes oneself sacrifice oneself and give everything - the usual subject is a self-sacrificing wife or mother, who just suffers and suffers - they are treated with no respect, used with any prefix (like ab-, ill- or mis-). Still they would die and kill for the object.
I really don't know what to call this kind of 'love'.

And I am pretty sure there are lot more other sorts and kinds and variations and "dialects" than this.


How do I know if I love someone? That is easy - I love someone, when I think I do.
But how do I know if I REALLY love someone? When it hurts like hell to loose this person.
That's the only guaranteed way of finding out if I REALLY love someone. (Now, luckily humans are imagining creatures, so we can imagine how it would feel to know that the person we supposedly love would be dead.)
It's not hurt feelings or anger or fear or act, but pure sorrow and pain. When you miss this person so much it's just a big black abyss, all consuming, a black hole that sucks the life of you... you are sure that you will never ever feel anything...

Funeral Blues
W.H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.


How do you know when you are "in love" with someone?
When I think of this person all the time, and just want to be with him...  [määä, Shadow Bear *_*]


Is it truly possible to love someone more than "yourself"?
I heard once that love is the most selfish feeling - because love makes ME feel good. So all I do for love, to keep it in my life and so on, is done just to make me feel love - to love and be loved.

But - does it really matter why we love? It is sweet, it is lovely, it is good, it is heaven... I love love

loving, loved, in love

Now I have read the thread...
14 years ago

good answers



great card LOL! I love "those guys in SNL"!


What is love... I was thinking of "How to make an American Quilt"
Me and my 3 sisters were sitting on the sofa watching the movie, and when it was about to end, and she found her groom sleeping in the car, 3 of us were weeping and one of us looked at the others as if we were out of our minds... she was the only single one.


Paige, beautiful


Sometimes love grows, sometimes it is born in a second, perfect and full, sometimes love evolves, sometimes love stagnates and sometimes love dies... It acts as organic material, this feeling...


Would I die for the ones I love? Yes, but if I did Shadow Bear would kill me. LOL
Would I kill for the ones I love? Definately. Instantly. Any time. GRRRR!!!
Would I steal, lie, cheat and whore for the ones I love? Yes. Anything.

"But there have been times where the person I was in love with was in some kind of ... situation ... and I'll jump right in there without a second thought."
Yes... as I suppose everyone here knows I do LOL


"My BeeLoved one is dead scared of dogs, but when a big angry dog tried to attack me she jumped right in between."

I guess you weren't so happy about that... Shadow Bear always tells me to stay out of the 'situations', because it would hurt him more if something happened to me, than what ever they might do to him.


Michael Bolton "Said I Loved You But I Lied"

You are the candle, love's the flame
A fire that burns through wind and rain
Shine your light on this heart of mine
Till the end of time
You came to me like the dawn through the night
Just shinin' like the sun
Out of my dreams and into my life
You are the one, you are the one

Said I loved you but I lied
'Cause this is more than love I feel inside
Said I loved you but I was wrong
'Cause love could never ever feel so strong
Said I loved you but I lied

With all my soul I've tried in vain
How can mere words my heart explain
This taste of heaven so deep so true
I've found in you
So many reasons in so many ways
My life has just begun
Need you forever, I need you to stay
You are the one, you are the one


Tom - Howard Jones
I agree with you both


Love hurts when it's over... or unanswered - or when you love a "Former One" instead of "Latter One"

Haddaway "What is love"

Oh I don't know
why you're not fair
I give you my love
but you don't care
So what is right
and what is wrong
gimme a sign

uoh oh..
What is love
What is love
What is love
Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
no more
Don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

uoh oh...
Oh I don't know
what can I do
what else can I say
it's up to you
I know we're one
just me and you
I can't go on

I want no other
No other love
This is your life
our time
When we are together
I need you forever
Is it love


"when is the last time someone 'fell in love' with someone they considered to be physically ugly?" - when has someone thought of their love that he/she is ugly?
I suppose my husband is concidered ugly by a lot of people, and so am I. But he thinks I'm the most beautiful girl ever born, and I think he's darn handsome

Reminds me also of other stories, like the movie about Isadora Duncan - she fell in love with a little guy she called "the frog". Just because he kissed her...
Or "Beauty and the Beast" - have been made in many forms and variations, but always builds on the idea of a beautiful person falling in love with an ugly person because of the beauty of his inside.
Love IS blind.



Love, love changes everything
Hands and faces, earth and sky
Love, love changes everything
How you live and how you die
Love, can make the summer fly
Or a night seem like a lifetime
Yes love, love changes everything
Now I tremble at your name
Nothing in the world will ever be the same

Love, love changes everything
Days are longer, words mean more
Love, love changes everything
Pain is deeper than before
Love will turn your world around
And that world will last forever
Yes love, love changes everything
Brings you glory, brings you shame
Nothing in the world will ever be the same

Off into the world we go
Planning futures, shaping years
Love (comes in) and suddenly all our wisdom disappears
Love makes fools of everyone
All the rules we made are broken
Yes love, love changes everyone
Live or perish in its flame
Love will never never let you be the same
Love will never never let you be the same

From Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical "Aspects of Love"
- lyrics by Don Black and Charles Hart


Godytess, so sweet *_*


I agree, Anon Amos - we are humans, and it would be unfair to expect "divine love" from humans - or get disappointed or condecending, because "human love" is not perfect...
people make mistakes, people don't think and sometimes think, when they shouldn't or what they shouldn't, and expect that other people are what they aren't, people get disappointed, and reflect thoughts and feelings - and even though pure love is all that, human emotions are almost never alone - there are thougths and fears and feelings and reactions and all kind of stuff.
"That's the story of, that's the glory of love..."

But I disagree with with the "if someone is treating you badly, they don't love you no matter what they say" -part. But I agree that if they treat you badly, they may love you from here to eternity, to moon and back seven times and till the oceans are mountains and mountains are the bottoms of the oceans, it still isn't worth it. Love isn't everything.

As I said, love is working seldom alone, and sometimes the other stuff is too much.


Love is unconditional, but my having people in my life isn't.

Naturally Nice, I'm so glad for you and your love


Oh... I just remembered... someone said something about "we deserve to get the love we give" or something like that... We DESERVE to get ALL love there is.


Wow, Ket ...
14 years ago

You are really into THIS LVE thingy, eh? 

Hugs back to you, darlin' ...

Well Ket...
14 years ago
Actually I was happy about it... You should have seen that dog. and just between us - I was a dog trainer for many years so I was able estimate the risk. ar
14 years ago
dog trainer what type of dogs and yes i agree with you.
Love Hurts ...
14 years ago

Ket said: Love hurts when it's over... or unanswered - or when you love a "Former One" instead of "Latter One"

Love can hurt even if it's reciprocated by the right person - yet it still feels sooo good. 

14 years ago
Only the four legged ones - all races. ('Obedience Training' and 'Problem Dogs Training') ar
This thread ...
14 years ago

makes me want to break out into song ... I think we all know this little ditty by Nazareth ...

Love hurts, love scars,
Love wounds, and marks,
Any heart, not tough,
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain,
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts

I’m young, I know,
But even so
I know a thing, or two
I learned, from you
I really learned a lot,
Really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when it’s hot
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts

Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
They’re not foolin’ me

I know it isn’t true,
I know it isn’t true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Love hurts, ooh,ooh love hurts
Ooh,ooh love hurts

[guitar solo]

I know it isn’t true,
I know it isn’t true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
Ooh ooh love hurts
Ooh ooh...

Oh Girlfriend....
14 years ago

What a sad song!!!!!!

You need a hug!!

Hope that makes things a little better!!

14 years ago

Personally, I feel if love hurts, your lovin' the wrong person.

(18 days till I become a wife!!!!! )

No worries, NN!
14 years ago

But thanks for the hug!  I was just following a train of thought

What good is love without laughs?   I to

Counting the days, counting the days ... 18 ...

14 years ago
Love I hear what he does not say I read what he does not write I know the love he feels for me Does he know what i will give to thee Our love shall not be hidden Although it is forbidden I love thee now I love thee forever I loved thee yesterday and i shall love thee tomorrow Only if thou shall love me even Z.Awada LOVE & HUGS TO ALL OF YOU
14 years ago

This is a great topic.

Well my point of view is...

Love is something very complicated, love is when you are gratefull to someone becouse he made you a better person, you thank Good every day just for breading becouse you have one more day to show your love to him. Love is when you feel like a broken glass when you don t see him in a long while. When everything seems right in your life and when you have no problems or just think so when he is by your side. When you know that he respect you and would do everything for you just like you would for him. When you would gave your life for him and you know that than you also know what love is.

Oh, you are all so special

A TP Z .........."LOVE"
14 years ago
A TO Z=LOVE Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age. Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. Choose the one who loves you, and not whom you love. Don't forget to love yourself. Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is. For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes. If you judge people, you have no time to love them. Just three words, "I Love You" , but they mean world to everybody. Kindness is love in disguise. Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. Mature love says: "I need you because I love you." Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Nothing can be as beautiful as falling in Love. Offerings of love should be made without any expectations. Precious possessions that a man can ever have, is a woman's heart. Quotes are peoples way to express their experience of love. Rose is the symbol of love. Set me as a seal upon thy heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death. There is only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved. Usually a man in love cannot be harsh. Victory of a heart is the most priced possession. Within you, I lose myself; Without you, I find myself, searching to be lost again. X-ray can not reveal a love struck heart. Yes, is the ultimate word for love. Zodiac signs are insignificant when it comes to love.
14 years ago
Love is the way Chris looks at me as if I am the most beautiful girl in the world. Love is the way time seems to stand still when I am with him, when in fact it is actually racing by, and our time together always seems so short. Love is the way he comes to see me even when I'm throwing up sick in bed all day (like today, bless his heart) and tells me that I still look incredible. It's the way he kisses me and takes my hand and holds me, and I know everything is gonna be all right. It's the way that he always knows exactly what to say to make my day better. Oh %#&!*%, guys...I think I might be in love with this man...
Yeah ...
14 years ago

Sounds like it! 

I get you on the throwing up part.  Barf

That is TRUE love! 

14 years ago
Atiq ...
14 years ago

I'm sorry you've had some bad experiences. 

As good as it feels, love can often hurt ... and hurt like a muthah, too. 

I hope you find the right love, Atiq.  Don't give up.  In the meantime, you always have your friends here to give you somelove back. 

14 years ago

Great question and great posts, I have enjoyed them all...

Love is so very simple, yet so complex...I made an art album not too long ago with some great quotes (at least I think they are) these are a few of them...

                             Love Locked Out Love Locked Out

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. ~ Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love ~

The Love Letter
The Love Letter
"Never has language seemed wondrous to me in another, or how you make me love language. Do we not speak to each other as the stars speak to earth and the earth to the stars? Just that our speech is not silence, not comic silence, but language, the language of human beings." ~ By Rainer Maria Rilke
Love is not only something you feel. It's something you do. ~ David Wilkerson
Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists.... When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence. ~ Goncourt
Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, Hast thou more of pain or pleasure! . . . . Endless torments dwell above thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! ~ Joseph Addison
Love. What is love? No one can define it, its something so great, only God could design it. Yes, love is beyond, what man can define, for love is immortal, and God's gift is divine.
We know that we love each other from a time before the earth began, from a childhood before all the ages of being, we love each other from the womb of existence, as the stars would love one another if they knew of their splendor... By Rainer Maria Rilke ~
Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. ~ Leo
14 years ago

What is love? 

A royal pain in the arse!  But something we all continue to want, need, and search for.

14 years ago

That's what I love about YOU, Jan!  Say it! 

And ...
14 years ago

Big for sweet Cyn. 

14 years ago
Cyn, unfortunately I have already green-starred you out this week, but you deserve another one for that great post. How beautiful!
14 years ago
I Just Called To Say I Love You Stevie Wonder No New Year's Day to celebrate No chocolate covered candy hearts to give away No first of spring No song to sing In fact here's just another ordinary day No April rain No flowers bloom No wedding Saturday within the month of June But what it is, is something true Made up of these three words that I must say to you I just called to say I love you I just called to say how much I care I just called to say I love you And I mean it from the bottom of my heart No summer's high No warm July No harvest moon to light one tender August night No autumn breeze No falling leaves Not even time for birds to fly to southern skies No Libra sun No Halloween No giving thanks to all the Christmas joy you bring But what it is, though old so new To fill your heart like no three words could ever do I just called to say I love you I just called to say how much I care, I do I just called to say I love you And I mean it from the bottom of my heart I just called to say I love you I just called to say how much I care, I do I just called to say I love you And I mean it from the bottom of my heart, of my heart, of my heart I just called to say I love you I just called to say how much I care, I do I just called to say I love you And I mean it from the bottom of my heart, of my heart, baby of my heart
14 years ago
Touching words from the mouth of babies.

What does Love mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of year 4 to 8
-olds, "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have
imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.  So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile w hen you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.  My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you le ft him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.  The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.  The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.  Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.  When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

"Nothing, I just helped him cry"
14 years ago
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .
14 years ago

Awwww.....You've gotta' love that!!

Kids surely know what love their love is the purest!!

Tom, thanks for sharing that, hun!

love is
14 years ago
seeing someone at their current age and imagining the person at a later age and knowing you want to be there
Love is
14 years ago

Love is when you have lost and insted of being bitter you wish for the others complete happiness, iminaging them free, surrounded by all the best that another can bring to them, invisioning them in this way no longer makes you long or cry but brings a smile at the thought of their happiness.

Love is when you can look at your ex. wife/husband and feel a deep sense of compassion and love not in a romantic way but in a much deeper way and know that you  yourself have healed.  Feeling no more pain and only the wish for their freedom from suffering.

These two senarios I know to be true as I am there.

Buddhist teachings say love is free of pain.  On that I am no expert.  But I do know love happens when I remove my own self cherishing out of the equation and can focus on the object without wanting anything but their happiness out of it. (This eliminates dissapointment).

I am not as we commonly say currently in love, but I have love all around me and try to give it a little bit everyday.  I do this now with no expectation of return.  I do not always succeed and that is when I feel sorrow and realize I am not practicing love.

Hope this makes sense.

Most every love song ever written is a lie, including the ones I sing to myself.  They talk of painful loss, regret, being done wrong or just plain stupidity of actions.

Love is not sex..., although sex in love is much more fullfilling than sex without love.

Love is touching souls....I once was graced with meeting a man named Amor (love) a poet just before he died, I met him and knew we both loved each other from somewhere deep in time, we cried when we parted.  Even thou I only knew him less than a week when he died his daughter wrote me to tell me he died, that is love,(she knew)  my response to her was the world was a much better place simply because he was here.  I keep his picture on my book case.

Love is when above and beyond your own needs you would give your last dime, shirt, food and shelter to another because you truely want their happiness above your own.

Well that is my Love stories...   

very nice
14 years ago
I enjoyed this explanation, however since I already sent you a green star.the butterfly will have to do.
14 years ago
Margaret, I love your definition . . read it twice!
Thank you guys and gals
14 years ago
Patti I didnt know you doubled for Farrah, your so modest.
14 years ago
Umm . . errr . . yeah . . . she is . . my .  err . .Mom's twin sister! Yeah, that's it! . .my Mom's twin sister.
what is Love
13 years ago

Love is full flow

of everything

love is
13 years ago
Seeing a whole person for what they stand for, not just as pyshically attractive but as someone who you would want to walk through quicksand with, march on a picket line with, kiss in the middle of central park or attend a religious service with. A person who you would support in their aspirations and dreams. Not hold onto like the sun baking a grape into a raisin.
Love is ...
13 years ago

giving up pieces of yourself to make him happy ... could be bits of dreams, time you'd rather have to yourself, or even material things so that he can can possess something he wants. 

Love is not allowing her to deny pieces of herself, but rather helping her achieve her dreams, it's giving her time to herself, or even surprising her with a little gift - a candy bar, a pretty rock, a rodent - for no other reason than because you love her. 

oh kenyatta
13 years ago

Your such a good guy.

Kiss, kiss

13 years ago
I loved the NYC parks when I lived there. I like the explanation about Buddhist teaching. Our UU church has an active Buddhist group, including our minister.
such a good kisser
13 years ago

Hey everyone Kenyatta is such a good kisser.  OOPs better not brag Cindy will be jealous.

Kisses to you too cindy.

let's start a bisexual buddhist group
13 years ago
or perhaps alternating currents. it will be difficult to kiss cindy because she is a heavy smoker.
Now that you put it out there
13 years ago
I am sure someone will be contacting you to join their group.
13 years ago
My main concern is that the two of us will fall in love with each other and then there's a soy shortage. Then what?
13 years ago

Ha!  Margaret/Kenyatta ya'll are bad!    But all you folks have some really great 'ideas about love'...Hmmmmmmmmmm...I took a few moments to 'reflect', and I cannot imagine...that's sad.

Margaret, just look at you trying to steal Kenyatta!  Ha!  But, at least you felt 'guilty'...LOL! 

Once, a man I was crazy about told me, "Love is never having to say you're sorry..."  Well, he never did apologize for the hurt he caused...Ha! 

I suppose I just love folks for 'who' they are, even their faults... I don't know about actually loving a man...maybe one of these days.    But, I do so love to hear your love stories...they make my heart feel good! 

when we hold love lightly
13 years ago
we realize no one can steal our love. we continue to love the person so much no matter where they may go they will know our love is there.
I believe
13 years ago
I believe love is saying your sorry and meaning it.
I believe love is
13 years ago
When you are feeling blue you receive LOTS AND LOTS OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, (you know who your are) (and I do too) 
Love is...
13 years ago
...gallantly volunteering to sleep in the "wet spot"
love is
13 years ago
Volunteering to change the sheets so no one sleeps in the wet spot.
13 years ago
On a more serious note:  Love is when you feel more concerned about another's health, welfare, and overall happiness than your own;  when you have become so used to the presence of another person in your life that you imagine that "regular" stimulation to be an integral part of your inner workings; it's knowing that there's someone out there whom you can trust and respect, and whom you know trusts and respects you, without fail.
13 years ago
taking responsibility for the wet spot... 
13 years ago

Dennis!!! LMAO!!

This was such a gr8 thread . .

I think the bible described what love is best:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:5-7

13 years ago

I heard somewhere that Love was like sand in the palm of your hand.

If you hold it too tightly, the sand falls out between your clenched fingers, but if you hold it very gently in your open palm it will stay there forever.

13 years ago

Love is...
 12:16 PM
...gallantly volunteering to sleep in the "wet spot"

OMG I just love that One Dennis is fantastic ...yeap that is love alright
Absolutely true
13 years ago

On a more serious note:  Love is when you feel more concerned about another's health, welfare, and overall happiness than your own;  when you have become so used to the presence of another person in your life that you imagine that "regular" stimulation to be an integral part of your inner workings; it's knowing that there's someone out there whom you can trust and respect, and whom you know trusts and respects you, without fail.

Absolutely agree with you Denden!you are true about itI can add anything is a wonderful answer!

13 years ago
Thanks for that enlightening concept of love I just love it!!!Is true and its very witted insightful !
I have to add something thou Denden
13 years ago
Yes I think I have to add something thou...

I think is one of the most honest , beautiful responce without make up , just its true as it is true, I think that sometimes we have very complicated and elaborated ideas about love, when its really simple.
I think Ill take the honest most truthfull and simple answer because I think is the closest to my mind and to my heart.

I always say learn to love like the animals do love, without fear of loosing the mate, but taking good care of them, I think we have to relearn to Love society has made of us consumers of love.
Its sad.
We have to relearn to be honest to ourselfs and to the ones we love.
Without lies without all that crap that surrounds a so called relationship. Im tired of being lied all my life!
I 'd rather want a second of absolute pure love than a lifetime of lies.

Im just tired of people pretending they love, and lying to themselfs about being in love.

13 years ago

What is Love..... That is a hard one.....  In my opinion there really arent any words to describe true love. It is the most important feeling in the word... the universe. It is not something you can explain; only feel. You feel whole, completed, full of life and happiness. You want only to make your partner happy, therefore making you happy..... The happiness reaches your soul.... You would do anything for this person without thought....True love can also hurt. There is no love without pain.

I am a divorced mother with 2 children. I am now engaged to a wonderful man. This man is not rich, does not own his own home, doesnt have the perfect body. He is a very average person. He is not perfect by any means. The things I described above are what I feel with him. And have never felt before him.... Complete Happiness.

Love Hath No Bounderies......


13 years ago

I recently watched the movie "Star Man" the main character upon being asked what is LOVE the alien who came to visit earth...I think hit the nail on the head as to how she explained love to him

It's caring about someone else more than yourself. And when they die, you feel like a part of you died as well. 

You All are Very True About Love
12 years ago
My Dear Friends I agreed with most of you. Love is to feeling the other person is part of your own. But what if you feel like that and he/she do not care about you? Or if he/she care about you but society / family do not allow him/her to be with you.
12 years ago
Atiq, You may be in love and sometimes it is not returned or cannot be returned ...  It is sort of like the idea of giving a gift - the joy is in the giving, not expecting anything in return ... the joy is in the loving, even if it cannot be returned. Try to find the beauty in the feeling itself and be thankful to have loved.
12 years ago
Love is caring about the happiness, well-being, and spiritual development of another person as much as we do our own and being willing to go out of our way to contribute to them.  Romantic love is only one type of love.  It's possible, though not necessarily easy, to love everyone we meet.
12 years ago
Ok, what a great topic 2 discuss. I have been thru so much in the last yr. with my ex. I have 2 kids with him, and I loved him, but this love wasn't a complete love, because of the circumstances. It's very hard 2 expain, how I felt. He didn't respect me, as a person, he insulted me all the time, and treated me like an object, not a human being, or someone he's supposed 2 love. I wan't very content or happy, just kinda empty inside. I knew I deserved better, but for some reason, I didn't want 2 let go. I think maybe, it had 2 do with, me being afraid 2 move on, getting on with my life, and finding someone new. Anyways, I finally found the courage 2 do what I needed 2. I think it had 2 do with someone I've been talking with, he made me see that, I needed 2 get on with my life. I can't explain how different he is, so warm, caring, and such a beautiful person inside and out. Umm, everytime I talk with him even online, my heart beat real fast, and I get butterflies in my tummy, just like a teenager, lol. Yesterday, just hearing his voice on message, made my heart feel like it was gonna come out of my chest, and I had the biggest smile ever, hee hee hee. The thing is, for some reason.... I'm afraid of the... LOVE word. I think it has 2 do with.... my previous relationship.... Maybe someone can let me kno their opinion.
                                                                                                                Hugz- Brenda*~
12 years ago

Brenda, you described 22 years of my life to a "T" -- so, ya, I hear ya loud and clear. Don't worry about the "L" word. Just give the relationship time to develop and grow without worrying about defining it.

You will be afraid of the "L" word, but remember that you do deserve this new and wonderful relationship ... you are awesome and deserving.


12 years ago
thank u very much, for your reply. It's nice 2 speak with someone who truly understands what I'm goin thru. This whole thing for me.... with Ryan is kinda strange, because of how wonderful he is. He saids such beautiful things 2 me, and makes me feel like a queen. I am not used 2 it, cause I was always told such negative things all the time, Its gonna take time, and when the time is right, I will definetely tell him... I love him. But for right now, I am just gonna enjoy what I have with him.
12 years ago

Brenda, how does a salesperson treat somebody when they want to make a sale? Do they treat them nice or do they treat them real? Possibly every human being alive is looking for someone to love them. Could it be in the quest to find somebody to love us it all backfires?

As a guy whenever I got involved in a romantic realationship I thought I was king of the world at first but I felt it was the same way a salesperson treated me when they were after the profit of the sale. It wasn't the same after I purchased something and it was never the same after I got involved in relationships. Usually it had been the relationship someone was after, not me the person so when I discovered that I'm sure I reacted the same way your husband possibly did. I knew I made a mistake and did the best I could to live with that mistake.What happens to anybody's self-esteem when they make a mistake? Does it go up or down? Do you think a person that made a mistake in a relationship can show love or they just want to get away from the mistake?

The point is that from those mistakes I've come up with a definition for love for myself. It's to be the best me I can be and share that me in a responsible and accountable manner with others. I'm very sold on the idea of having a relationship with oneself first so there is something to share with others or life won't be very satisfying otherwise.


What is Love ?
12 years ago
Love is understanding acceptance and appreciation a positive influence
12 years ago
Strange how this brought to mind two books I've read making similar use of those words. One was "The Meaning of Happiness," by Alan Watts and the other was "Actualizations, You Don't have to Pretend to be Yourself." One brought up about learning to 'accept' life the way it is and the other brought up to 'appreciate' life the way it is. My personal opinion is that it's easier to shoot for accepting it than it is appreciating it as perfect just the way it comes to me.   
According to Ms. Benatar:
12 years ago
Love is a battlefield.
11 years ago
Romance is a process to become part (deeply involve) of what we “LOVE”. The subject attracts through its ability and stimulates the person to get involved heartedly - mentally or physically. Romance is deep involvement to the invitation, through attraction of the subject, which enchants and satisfies our individuality. The process is emotional because the personality (the identity) is involved. Both brain (attentiveness) and the soul (personality) have important role to tempt to involve to seek fulfillment through the attractive subject. The subject that draws (with its qualities) our attention to act (mentally or physically) is called “Romantic”. The subject becomes Romantic because it mesmerizes and drags towards it.  We can not be in romance with anything or anybody so romance is the second stage of love.
11 years ago
is a process to become part (deeply involve) of what we “LOVE”. The subject attracts through its ability and stimulates the person to get involved heartedly - mentally or physically. Romance is deep involvement to the invitation, through attraction of the subject, which enchants and satisfies our individuality. The process is emotional because the personality (the identity) is involved. Both brain (attentiveness) and the soul (personality) have important role to tempt to involve to seek fulfillment through the attractive subject. The subject that draws (with its qualities) our attention to act (mentally or physically) is called “Romantic”. The subject becomes Romantic because it mesmerizes and drags towards it. We can not be in romance with anything or anybody so romance is the second stage of love.