Dear Trish, From what you've said, it sounds like you stay in the Rehab area of the same facility that houses your husband. Is that right? If so, it's a good vantage point for you to keep an eye on things. It's good that you can be there and have access to computer, too. Then all of us can be there with you a little bit.
Take good care of yourself as well as your husband, OK? Love, Caitlin
Okay Trish, I understand what you are saying about the steps to take properly. I will pray for him that this is taken care of soon. No one deserves to ever be mistreated. Love is what we all need to spread in out world of forgotten kindness. I hope this gets better.
Thank you, but no thank you. There were lots of people at the nursing home today so there is a big Pow Wow going on. I would freek out if anyone initated anything without me or being able to run it by the Guardian first. The Guardian has all leagal authority over my husband and she is getting paid the big bucks to handle this quietly and in his best interest. She handles some of the most conveluded, high profile cases in New England. She is the best. Not everything happens in my time, but the wheels of justice are turning, I have been assured. I am glad you were angered and I hope we are all outraged that as time marches on this could be happening to our parents, brothers and sisters and to ourselves. Something needs to change and it will.
Thank you so much.
TRISH, IF YOU WANT ACTION ASAP I WOULD CONTACT THE NEWS MEDIA. I AM SO UPSET READING THIS. THIS IS BULLYING AND ABUSE. HERE IS A LINK TO CONTACT SOMEONE.. http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/ncearoot/Main_Site/index.aspx ALSO HERE IS AN E MAIL TO CONTACT If you suspect elder abuse, neglect, or exploitation, Click Here for state reporting numbers, or telephone
the Eldercare Locator at
This post was modified from its original form on 29 Nov, 19:36
Hi Dorothy, When I posted this the other night I got immediate response from a few very caring people on this site. I had reported the incidences to the Guardian in an early October meeting.
The advice, the support and courage of those who contacted me got me off my duff to ask the Guardian what was going on with the "Changes". I am so glad I did and you are right that the future holds more incidents like these for elders where people are not properly screened or trained. My husband lives in bucolic setting in the town where he grew up. He knows who I am and he knows he is in his hometown. He is a very positive and happy gentleman. This is an ongoing investigation initiated in October. The Nursing home is a 97 bed facility and a live in rehabilitation hospital for elders. I appreciate your input and will keep everyone up to date.
Efrem you gave the lady the best advice there is. But I wonder how things improved for her so quickly with the so called "Guardian"? It also sounds as if the husband is in a hospital as oppossed to a nursing home setting.
I think the world will see more situations like the one above anywhere and everywhere. But no matter where it is bullies can occur in staff and family as well.
Hope all goes for the best.
Glad to hear you have an ally and friend in your husband's Guardian.
Let me know if I can be of any help to you guys in the future.
I had a very productive meeting with my husbands guardian. She has told me that many things that I had told her are being checked out and are being worked on as of October 4th. The guardian is very powerful and works in mysterious ways, but I am reassured that something is happening. Drug testing is being set up for all who have hands on care with patients. Those nurses aids I spoken of and the housekeeper have all been sent to a different part of the hospital so that neither of us have contact with them and those people also have to be retrained and counseled. The guardian works in connection with elder affairs attorneys and if well known in the area of elder rights. I now fee there are invisible actions being taken on his behalf and mine. She didn't tell me anything until I asked about specifics. I really have to trust her that everything will be okay.
Three mean people don't wreck the whole place , but I feel they should be removed if they are endangering anyones life or mental health or using drugs on that job. The home is beautiful, they keep the old folks busy with live music and private concerts. They take them out as often as possible, throw parties at least once a month to celebrate all people who were born in that month. The Nurses are top notch, efficient and kind. The Doctors are thorough. I do have an issue with management alloying a bully atmosphere to exist in that setting, but that will be addressed by the Guardian. You guys were there for me and I appreciate that. Your ideas will be kept and re read so that I feel I have intelligent ideas and changes to offer. What a bunch of smart people I know and also care about someone they have never met. Thank you special friends. Trish
Thank goodness someone has concrete and knowledgeable help here. I think Efrem and Mary have the right idea. Best of luck to you Trish. If you need some help, let me know. I'm not that far away.
Trish I agree strongly with Efrem.
I'd also try to get a hidden camera in with me so I could video the lies for later proof. (I'm a gold plated b*tch)TV stations just LOVE that and so do their consumer reporters.
I have to question the statement "5 star nursing home." It certainly sounds more like a -5 stars to me.
If he would be disturbed, is there another place near by that would be acceptable instead? What's wrong with the guardian? Get in writing, everything every accusation, every statement. I believe the more you insist one them writing it down, the more they're going to back off.
Oh and don't forget feces on a toilet in that setting is a health hazard.
I will think of you. Please keep us informed.
So sorry to hear you and your husband are going through this crap. You should contact the Attorney General's Office. They have a specific office to deal with elderly abuse. Here's the link for their contact information http://www.mass.gov/?pageID=cagoterminal&L=3&L0=Home&L1=Community+Safety&L2=Resources+for+Elders&sid=Cago&b=terminalcontent&f=community_elder_abuse_protection&csid=Cago
Elder Abuse and Protection
Massachusetts seniors are on the front lines of consumer protection, health care, housing, age and disability discrimination, and domestic violence. The protection of Massachusetts seniors requires a comprehensive approach, coordinating legal, prevention, and advocacy strategies with the state, local and private agencies committed to elder safety. The AGO has forged partnerships with elder organizations to raise the profile of elder protection issues and provide training to help law enforcement and elder care professionals identify, investigate, and assist in the prosecution of elder abuse and financial scams.
Reporting Elder Abuse
The Massachusetts Executive Office of Elder Affairs (EOEA) has established 22 designated Protective Services agencies throughout the Commonwealth to respond to reports of elder abuse, which may include physical, emotional and sexual abuse, neglect by a caregiver, self-neglect, and/or financial exploitation. Elder abuse reports may be made to the appropriate designated Protective Services agency (during normal business hours) or the statewide Elder Abuse Hotline, at 1-800-922-2275 (after-hours, weekends and holidays).
The law (M.G.L. c. 19A, s. 15) defines certain professionals as âmandated reporters,â those required to report suspected incidents of abuse. Those mandated reporters who fail to make an elder abuse report may be fined up to $1000. Mandated reporters may not be held liable in any civil or criminal action resulting from the report, provided the mandated reporter did so in good faith and did not âerpetrate, perpetrate, inflict or causeâ the abuse. Anyone can make an elder abuse report, and is granted the same immunity if they made the report in good faith.
Trish, I can't tell whether you are saying this about yourself or whether this is a story from someone else. But if it were I in this situation, I think I would go to the administrators of the place, then the newspapers, then I'd move my husband. If he has Alzheimer's, it probably doesn't make a lot of difference where he is physically, he may still feel he is in the area of his youth even after the move. Which is more important, his safety or propinquity?
My husband is in a 5 star nursing home. I complained to the nursing staff, the aids that there should be no feces on the toilet because my husband is bull headed and has to go when he needs to go and I could no longer clean it up because of my health problems I complained to the new head of housekeeping in April and my husbands life and mine have hit a new low. In April I was accused of stealing and or breaking my husbands roommates hula doll. In May the roommates wife said she had taken it home. I was told I could no longer decorate my husbands windows because it was to hard on housekeeping. August I was accused of lying down with my husband and giving him fleas. Of course there are multitudes of animals coming in and out of the Baldwinville Nursing Home and many of the people who work there have pets. It was very personal. The aids would ask me if I smelled bug spray when I walked by , then they started shunning me. I found out that one of the bullies had yelled at my husband for being to slow eating and tore his paper up in front of him. He went ballistic and they reported bad behavior and drugged him so that I was unable to communicate with him. I reported this to my husbands guardian plus the fact that some of the aids were taking drugs and buying them from someone at the nursing home. Nothing has changed in the month since my report. I learned these facts from former aids who could not take the bully atmosphere. There is a bully society of young women aids and housekeepers like in junior high that still abuse me when I walk in and I have to make sure my husband is safe every day. This nursing home is the only one in the state that does not require mandatory urine test. I am at my wits end and so very tired. I am not in the best of health and my husband is 93 and wants to give me the twenty years he promised when we wed. My husband is a happy and positive human. He is at their mercy. I no longer cower and take their abuse but face them and know that I am in control of being a whistle blower. I need your support, help and advice. Thank you in advance, I can't move him because he grew up in this area. Don't know how far to go. I trust you will have sound advice to keep me sane and my husband healthy. Thank you