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Top 5 reasons to blame Canada -- and thank Canada
3 years ago
| Surprise Me

From Denver's Westword..

 

Until 1 p.m. today, the Canadian consulate is hosting Canada Day festivities on the 16th Street Mall between Cleveland and Court streets. Which got us to thinking: What is most worth celebrating about Canada? And what deserves a special musical attack from the South Park boys? These probing questions led to not one but two lists -- the top five reasons to thank Canada, and the top 5 reasons to blame Canada. First, the thanks...

 

chugging beer.jpg
5. Drinking beer -- legally! -- at eighteen
In the U.S., eighteen-year-olds can die for their country but not guzzle a brewski for it. For letting young adults act like them, Canada deserves a toast! With some Molson, not Miller Lite!

 

dudley do right.JPG

oRightCast.JPG" rel="nofollow" >Dudley Do-Right in action.

 

4. Mounties!
They're heroic, they stand for all that is good and right and true, and they wear funny hats. What's not to like?

steve-nash-q-tip.jpgtwitter.com/SteveNashHere's Steve Nash (right), just hanging out with Q-Tip. No big deal. 3. Steve Nash


Nash has transformed sharing the basketball with others, instead of hanging onto it like a life raft, into a work of art.

dave-coulier-full-house-550.jpg

"Eveywhere you look, When you're lost out there and you're all alone, A light is waiting to carry you home, Everywhere you look. Everywhere you look."

 

2. Dave Coulier
The Full House staple admits to being the inspiration for fellow Canuck Alanis Morissette's vitriolic "You Oughta Know." Did she go down on him in a theater? If so, how ironic!

neil young tonights the night.jpg1. Neil Young


He's not a technically great singer -- just an awesome one. Prove it by picking up Tonight's the Night. And then Rust Never Sleeps. And then Zuma. And then...

 

3 years ago


canadian bacon.jpgCanadian bacon. 5. Canadian bacon


Come on: It's just ham. Not only that, but it's just ham too ashamed to admit it's just ham -- which is embarrassing even if we kinda like the John Candy movie named after it.

howie mandel.jpgHowie Mandel. 4. Howie Mandel


It's not just that Mandel isn't funny, has never been funny, and will never be funny. On top of that, he's getting scarier-looking with each passing year. No deal!

poutine.JPGoutine.JPG" rel="nofollow" >Poutine. 3. Poutine
Didn't think anyone could ruin French fries? Eat a serving a poutine, featuring cheese curds and brown gravy, and think again.

celine dion.jpgCeline Dion. 2. Celine Dion


Dion is terrifying in part because every time you think she's gone away, she returns even scarier than before. Her heart will go on and on, but does her career have to?

neil young trans.jpg1. Neil Young


When Young is good, he's very, very good. And when he's not, he puts out albums like Trans, or Greendale, or Le Noise. Then again, at least his crappy records are weird and unusual, not boring. On second thought, we love bad Neil Young, too. Thanks, Canada

http://blogs.westword.com/latestword/2011/06/top_5_reasons_to_thank_canada_blame_canada.php

 

3 years ago

I'd add the Trailer Boys Boys to the good things

 

3 years ago

Well, I don't know about cheese curds with fries and gravy (although I do love Canada's cheese curds! - and 'pea-bacon' ) - I've been eating fries with gravy on them since before I knew anything about Canada but that it was the land north that had 'Mounties' (which I thought were cool because they rode horses!), but...

 

picking on Celine Dion?    She should be on the list of 'thanks'  

3 years ago

Pea-bacon?

 

 

How about +1 for pristine areas of wilderness?

And another +1 for the Royal Museum in Victoria on Vancouver Island.

+1 for Vancouver Island, too.

3 years ago

Love the cheese curds!  The poutine looks disgusting but I am not a french fry fan (or crisp fan either).

3 years ago

 

1. The only province in which the legal drinking age is 18 is Quebec. In the rest of the country, it's 19

 

2. It's called Back Bacon or Peameal Bacon, not Canadian Bacon or Pea-Bacon

 

3. The Trailer Park Boys rock! I finally just got into them a few months ago

3 years ago

Two 2.5lb Roasts Canadian Peameal   yuuummmmm 

3 years ago

Canadian Treasure..Bruce Cockburn,better deal than Celene Dion anyday anytime

 

3 years ago

 

Canada Day 2010 at Parliament Hill in Ottawa when Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles visited:

 

http://goto.christianbobak.ca/1w

 

3 years ago

Angelica, above is a photo of Canadian Peameal roast ... actually it's 'corn meal' these days, but originally it was rolled in yellow pea meal.  It's the best 'bacon' (pork roast) ever.  'Pea-bacon' is what I picked up from the waitress who would use that term when we'd go in for breakfast every morning, "The usual for you - two eggs over easy, pea bacon and rye toast?"  ... "Yes, thank you!"

3 years ago

 

I haven't had any in awhile. Thanks for the yummy photo, Katii. I think it's time to make a trip to the grocery store ...

 

Top 10 ways to spot a Canadian
3 years ago

Times have changed. Except for irascible hockey commentator Don Cherry, with his ubiquitous “Eh?,” and the slightly idiotic “hot enough for ya?,” sayings that used to instantly identify us here and abroad as Canadians have more or less gone by the boards.

 

The toque-wearing hoser ethos (“beauty, eh?” ) played to perfection in the eighties by SCTV’s Bob and Doug McKenzie and even that famous “My name is Joe and I am a Canadian!” beer ad are also ancient history.

 

Today a more relevant take on what it means to be Canadian is likely to be comedian Russell Peters’s hilarious send-up of his India-born father trying to &ldquoass ” as Canadian by inviting the neighbours to a barbecue because “Canadians like to eat the barbecue,” and offering them “hoddogs,” and other “white food.”

 

To deep-six another stereotype, we Canadians are not nearly as nice as we used to be. Any car-honking, digit-brandishing drive through downtown Toronto or Montreal in rush hour will attest to that.

 

So how can you spot a Canadian these days?

 

Herewith, on this day of national celebration, my highly selective top 10 ways to spot a Canadian, circa 2011:

 

1. You are a Canadian if you spend, as a member of my family did recently, three days in a top teaching hospital, get the best cardiac care going, and on your way out, gratefully walk right by the sign that says Cash Office, because it’s all paid for, and that’s what we support and believe in: universal health care.

 

2. You’re a Canadian if you like vinegar on your French fries, think just about anything – especially barbecued salmon – goes better with maple syrup, and admit poutine could be the national dish, especially if it’s gussied up by top chef Jamie Kennedy.

 

3. You’re a Canadian if you’ve politely said, “I’m sorry” at least once in the past week to someone who jostled YOU in the subway, but you privately swear more than Americans, Brits or Aussies. (It’s true! We’re the best damn swearers around.)

 

4. You’re a Canadian if you think a Prime Minister with a divisive modus operandi and a penchant for control meets the bar to be called “a dictator.” Just don’t take that to North Korea.

 

5. You’re a Canadian if you gripe about the heat during what amounts to a measly two-month summer. And if the first snowfall in winter always seems like a personal affront.

 

6. You’re a Canadian if your country hosts a contentious G-20 conference and no one was killed or seriously injured during the inevitable street riots, but in which, a year later, you’re still rightfully calling the police on the carpet for their heavy-handed presence and egregious abuse of power.

 

7. You’re a Canadian if in public you don’t really feel like thanking God for everything; whom you pray to is still a private matter, thank you very much.

 

8. You’re a Canadian if the sound of Gordon Lightfoot singing Ribbon of Darkness moves you to tears almost as much as Justin Bieber pouting out Baby, but for very different reasons. And if you think the most pertinent fact about international megastars like Celine Dion, Michael Bublé and Christopher Plummer is that they are Canadian, just like you!

 

9. You’re a Canadian if you refile your taxes to correct a tiny mistake, wait patiently at a red light to cross the street even though no car is coming, and address a surly American customs guard as Sir even after he has menacingly threatened not to let you into his country because of some minor omission on your customs card.

 




This post was modified from its original form on 01 Jul, 9:36
3 years ago

10. You’re a Canadian if, when visiting Paris and dressed like any North American – so casually that as David Sedaris once put it, you look “like you’re ready to mow someone’s lawn” – and a resident asks what part of “the States” you’re from, you bristle and proudly declare your nationality.

 

In short, you’re a Canadian if you’re nice but not too nice, deferential to authority but still ready to insist on justice, especially when it comes to rogue cops, and if you don’t need a UN quality-of-life survey to convince you that you live in the best damn country in the world.

 

Oh and you’re very much a Canadian if you read this list and said, what the hell? She didn’t even mention hockey. Happy Canada Day.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/news-and-views/judith-timson/top-10-ways-to-spot-a-canadian/article2082282/

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