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Giving Till it Hurts
3 years ago

It's very interesting and caught my attention at the start with the words "do-gooder." I think there's a confusion with 'empathy' which to me many mistake for 'sympathy.' With 'empathy' it's putting what's best for another as a priority while sympathy is putting what one thinks will be best to make another feel better. Sympathy ignores what actually best for the person which seems to be the main point of this article in a round about way. To me empathy requires one to know them self so they can understand another and knowing oneself also includes knowing what's best for oneself. 

I didn't agree with everything she had to say on this subject but do believe she brought an interesting subject to people's attention. Thanks for sharing this.

3 years ago

Well, obviously when empathy is involved, you still need to take your brain with you.

I think where it gets people into trouble is when they get into that herd mentality/ normalcy bias/ Stockholm syndrom, etc....(like Hitler pulled, and political parties pull.)

3 years ago

empathy |ˈempÉ™θÄ“|noun : the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

sympathy |ˈsimpÉ™θÄ“|noun ( pl. -thies) : feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune

   To me I draw from my own life experiences where I've fallen into doing more damage then good using sympathy where empathy requires me to good for another instead of using sympathy which I think was doing good for myself. What came to mind on the day I read the article, a guy who had his home foreclosed on stopped in front of my place. In my mind I knew this guy for quite a while. When he got his home I'd walk by and he say, "See my turtles," Pointing to statues of three turtles in his yard. He had a girl friend living with him and in front of her his conversation was one way while behind her back he bad mouthed her. So while he comes across as a real nice guy I couldn't see where he was responsible with his life and the lives of those that got near him. Just the day he stopped he wanted started with telling me he offered to pay a guy a $100 dollars to watch his dog for a couple of days, then he went on how he's working, then how he was just trying to make some money to get something to eat, then see my new car and then he wanted to know if he could park by my place to sleep at night. I mean the list of contradiction was endless and I have already opened my place up to homeless people already but  this time I said "No." From running into so many homeless I know of places that help people and one I suggested to him actually feed the homeless better meals then I make for myself. He didn't want any part of that and my mind was telling me I'd be the problem if I in any way enabled him in avoiding becoming responsible for his own life.

   It's always tempting and I think the author of the article has a good insight on what she wrote but felt the word sympathy would've made the subject a little easier to understand.

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