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Time for a Smile on Silly Saturday???
1 year ago

Love Handles Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie. "Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!" she exclaimed. "No," said the genie, "You have been very bad this year, and because of this, I can only give you one wish." "Let's see," says Monica, "I don't need fame, because I have plenty of that due to all of the media coverage. And I don't need money, because after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I'll have all the money I could ever want. I would like to get rid of these love handles, though. Yes, that's it, for my one wish, I would like my love ( that ) word was LOVE  handles removed." Poof! And just like that......
her ears were gone.

Even if you aren't a Sports Fan this is Very Interesting!
1 year ago

36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71,
I repeat 71
cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
 
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested! for shoplifting

21 currently are defendants in lawsuits,
and
84 have been arrested for drunk driving


in the last year !


Can you guess which organization this is?
Is it the NBA Or NFL?


 



Neither,  it's the 535 members of the
United States Congress

The same group of Idiots that crank out
hundreds of new laws each year
designed to keep the rest of us in line.

 
Anonymous
1 year ago

Well I suppose that should surprise us, but when you realize how well the POTUS was vetted, then you have to realize that if they vet the rest of these misfits, proportionately, none of them had anything investigated at all ?? Possible - Probable. LOL LOL

1 year ago
HOW ABOUT A SMILE ON MONDAY
 
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
 
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
 
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
 
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
 
The defense attorney nearly died.
 
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
 
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
1 year ago

  Frank, that was great and I know a couple of attorneys that I would love to send it to, actually.  Thank you so much for starting the week off for us with a laugh.

1 year ago

 

Thanks, everyone, keep 'em rollig!

 

HOW ABOUT A "ITS ALMOST FRIDAY SMILE"
1 year ago

*An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.


A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.  Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian woman walking a dog on a leash.

Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single
file.  The woman couldn't stand the curiosity.  She respectfully approached the Italian woman walking the dog and said:

 "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My husband's."

''What happened to him?"

"He yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The Italian woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A very poignant and touching moment of Italian sisterhood and silence passed between the two women...

"Can I borrow the dog?"

The woman replied, "Get in the line."

1 year ago

LOL!!    Love those Italians!!    Seems a few women needed that dog....  

1 year ago

Frank, that made my day.  Where was this lady and her dog when I needed them?  LOL

Thank you               

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