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First Anniversry May 02, 2005 3:07 AM

My dear friends,

Tomorrow will be the first anniversary of Tony's passing...  And I am a wreck!  How was YOUR first anniversary?  I'd like you to share it with me...  Thanks and blessings,

Giuliana aka Princess Litle Rock

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The first anniversary went by quietly for me... May 02, 2005 5:15 AM

The first anniversary went by quietly for me but did not go by without internal notice. It is almost as if you step back into time and think about how the news of their passing came to you and the feelings of loss are as fresh as they were that day. I am positive I worked that day and it was a good thing. For the first year I walked around as if I were a lost little girl myself. I always would look at the children/young people that came into where I work and note the freshness of youth, vitality and life on their faces. That would at times appease my sorrowing soul, for in that I realized that life does breath on even if she is not here physically. I do believe she is here in spririt though. I just always have this regret that I was not able to see her or physically speak to her before she passed.There is always more to the story than meets the eye and well it is the same with the many reasons behind why she left so early, way before her time. I have so many unanswered questions and I guess that I shall leave that up to her and God. I just remember feeling so helpless and being acutely aware of how there wasn't a damned thing humanly possible I could do to change the truth of her death. That's enough for now. ---ginger

for Tony...    for Rachel...

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 May 02, 2005 10:07 AM

First anniversaries are horrible!

It was like was the same day could not believe one year has gone but I rather remember the best times now hang in there takes lots of courage and tears some day you will just accept the fact that they are gone in the body but their soul is forever with us.

sending you hugs and love


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 May 02, 2005 4:31 PM

The first anniversary is a tough one, for sure. Well, the whole first year is, isn't it. Naomi died so close to our Independence Day that now that holiday is kind of tainted for me, and it used to be a happy, fun time. It'll be the second anniversary this year.

But I do feel that this is a time when our dear departed are closer to us again as the veil between us thins on the anniversary of their death, it is a good time to communicate with them. Last year, my daughters and I wrote letters to Naomi and then burned them in a simple fire ceremony to send them to her in the spirit world. It felt important to us to mark the occasion of her passing. And I did feel her presence, we all did.

((((((Giuliana)))))) Hang in there, sweetie. You will get through it. I'll be thinking of you and your Tony. 

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Hard time! May 02, 2005 7:31 PM

The first anniversary of everything is, I think, the toughest of times after a special person dies.  The first anniversary of my daughter's death, I just stayed home and cried.  Spent some of the day looking at pictures and remembering the good times, then let the sadness flow whenever it came.  It never gets easy, but it does get better with time.  (I took that date off from work for ten years - only ending that "tradition" as a favor to my boss last year.  It wasn't terrible, and I think I can can now continue to function on that date.)  As with all grief, let yourself feel what comes without censoring it or telling yourself how you "should" feel.  The grief will manifest itself at times for the rest of your life - some songs now cause uncontrollable tears for me, but at least they show I am feeling and caring.  (Just found a new one on a CD this weekend...totally unexpected, and very tearful.)

Scream your frustration to the heavens, tell the person how much you miss them, curl up with a favorite piece of their clothing, go somewhere that was special to both of you....whatever feels right to you is what you should do.  Accept what is and how you are, and go with it.

My prayers are with you....

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 May 02, 2005 9:39 PM

It was a difficult day. I found the seconf anniversry to be more difficult as the shock was completely gone by then. Then I began to really feel the emotion.
I have come to realize the pain of those emotions is quite a gift.
It is a testimony to the love for my daughter. I can embrace it (feeling the emotions) now.
My thoughts are with you.
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 May 03, 2005 9:09 AM

Guiliana, dear,

thinking of you and sending love.  the first one is tough, as Tim said, the first everything is tough.  I cannot celebrate my birthday anymore since Jenny died on my is now a day of remembrance of her rather than recognition of the day I arrived.  I recall the first anniversary as being in a fog.  little movement, muffled sounds, dimmed and misty colors.  Now I push back the fog with lit candles on the altar, and endless letters written to her.

You can get through this, it's hard, but you can.


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 May 04, 2005 2:32 PM

Guiliana... my thoughts are with you.  May you find sunshine , rainbows, and flowers to brighten your spirits. 

   Take care.

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THANKS! May 05, 2005 5:55 AM

My dear friends,

I appreciate your kind, comforting words.  May God bless you for your empathy.  Please, remember I'll always be available for each and everyone of you.

Love and hugs,

Giuliana aka Princess Little Rock

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Today I can only send my love to you all.... May 05, 2005 7:29 AM

Today I can only send my love to you all...---ginger  [ send green star]
 May 06, 2005 6:23 PM

to Guiliana sad  I can only imagine what the first year anniversary is like as I have just passed 6 months...All of those who post here have been like umbrellas to me...helping each other through this rain of life. umb

peace to all....rhonda

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Rhonda May 06, 2005 6:53 PM

  I am so sorry about the loss of your son.  I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a child.   As hard as it is...Our lives go on after losing the ones we loved.  Your loss if fairly new.  You will go through many emotions and feelings. Seek comfort from those you love.  Share your thoughts and feelings.  I hope some day you will find peace.  Your son is with you in your heart and will ALWAYS be there.   Take care. 


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