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What has helped you in your grief journey? July 06, 2010 3:31 PM

 Is there, any song, movie, poem, verse, book that aided you in your grief journey? As for me, this verse helped me alot:

And if I go while you're still here...

Know that I still live on,
Vibrating to a different measure
behind a thin veil you cannot see through.

You will not see me,
so you must have faith.
I wait the time when we can soar together again,
both aware of each other.

Until then, live your life to the fullest.
And when you need me,
just whisper my name in your heart,
....I will be there.---Colleen Hitchcock

I was still in the deepest depths of sorrow when one of my nieces and sisters introduced me to the movie, "Napoleon Dynamite". Sometimes I wonder if writers and comedians know how much they are loved and appreciated for the healing processes that they contribute to without knowing. I hadn't really, really laughed out loud or felt it in my belly for a long time and there is a book, but I will bring that back around after I read some responses to this thread. much love, peace and blessings to all who continue on their journeys of life and visit us here @: and via, "Your Grief Will Turn To Joy", via Facebook @:!/group.php?gid=115730841785564  with great affection---ginger meeder

We are here for you folks.
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Ginger, this is mine.... July 06, 2010 6:50 PM

When I'm gone from your side,
And all your tears have been dried ...

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow;

I am the diamond glints on snow;

I am the sunlight on ripened grain;

I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft star that shines at night.

And when you stroll in the evening hours,

And smell the aroma of beautiful flowers;

There'll be no need to sob and cry ...

I am not there, I did not die!

~ Author Unknown ~

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Janet.... July 07, 2010 2:45 PM

Janet, thank-you. I have read that and anytime I have read it, it always gets me right here. I am sure you know what I mean. Right here in the heart of it all. That was lovely and it is definitely a strong message for those that are left behind. Just sometimes, you might even wish that you hadn't been left behind, you know what I mean? peace, love and blessings upon all---ginger  [ send green star]
Sorry... August 10, 2010 3:35 PM

To be gone for so long - had computer troubles and then internet connection problems.  Great topic, Ginger!  After Laurel was killed, I read a wide variety of books and articles in spiritual and other areas - the Tao, Tibetan Book of the Dead, Carlos Castaneda are the ones that still stay in my mind, although I know there were others that gave me comfort at the time.  Read several that I did not react well to - When Happen to Good People, for instance - but that others found comfort in.  In music, my reaction to gospel music was renewed and strengthened.  Mostly, though, I think the thing that helped the most was not paying attention to people who told me what I should be feeling or doing.  I didn't deliberately ignore them, but just went with what I felt inside.  Tears that came out whenever and wherever, shed without shame.

And Monday will be 17 years, when the date she died, August 16, once again falls on a Monday as in the year she died.  Don't have any plans, but will just go with whatever feels right at that time.

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You have been missed, Tim... August 10, 2010 6:20 PM

but as I have said before - this group is like church, sometimes you don't go for the longest time....but when you need it, it needs to be there.  The group is open, and over the two years I've belonged, I have learned that you are a constant - you'll always answer.

I will carry prayers for Laurel in my heart on Monday especially.  Wherever the next stop is, I believe she's watching you from there - and is proud of you for carrying on.

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 August 20, 2010 8:39 AM

Embracing Grief
Grief is Important

Change is something that happens each and every moment in our lives. Since nothing is constant, it may sometimes seem as if we are losing something whenever things do change. Understanding that this is part of our daily existence and that there will not only be gains but also losses in our lives can help us more readily accept and deal with whatever happens.

Whenever we lose something or somebody we love, it is important for us to take time out for ourselves and truly feel the weight of what we are experiencing. Although it may seem that doing so will push us into a deeper state of sadness, truly giving ourselves permission to be with whatever arises actually creates space for us to begin the healing process. This is because the act of grieving is a natural process, allowing us to sort through the range of emotions that are present in our everyday existence. Even though it may sometimes seem easier to involve ourselves in activities that take our minds off of our sadness, this will only make the route to healing more difficult. Unless we listen to where we are in the moment, the emotions we experience will only grow in intensity, and our feelings will manifest themselves in more powerful and less comfortable ways. Once we consciously acknowledge that these emotions are present, however, we are more able to soothe the sorrow of t! he moment. In so doing, we become more open to our natural ability to heal ourselves.

Grieving doesn’t have to be a process that keeps us rooted in our thoughts of fear and sadness. For the moment we might feel despondent, but by expressing and coping with our true feelings, we face the sadness head-on. When we allow ourselves to accept and deal with our loss fully, we will then be able to continue our life’s journey with a much more positive and accepting outlook. This will make it easier for us to see that our grief is ephemeral and, just like our moments of happiness, it will also come to pass.

Giving ourselves permission to be with sadness actually creates space for us to begin the healing process.  [ send green star]
Thank you Judianne August 21, 2010 6:43 AM

Great post, very well said!

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