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Weekend July 31, 2005 9:02 AM

Dear friends,

Do you recall how your 1st weekend without your loved one was like?  I don't because when Tony passed away I was in shock for quite sometime!  I took care of the paperwork, made arrangements for the funeral, talked to people, but, really, everything was in a haze...  I don't know how I could arrange all this and forget about everything else...  I guess I handled the whole business as if I were still working at the US Consulate...  detached but very professional and  efficient...   It was as if I were doing it for someone else...  I remember crying, staying at my cousins' for a week, and taking sleeping pills...  Amazing! I suppose that was one of the tricks our minds do when the pain is too much to bear?!

Giuliana aka Princess Little Rock

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 August 01, 2005 6:58 AM

I guess I handled the whole business as if I were still working at the US Consulate...  detached but very professional and  efficient...   It was as if I were doing it for someone else...  I remember crying, staying at my cousins' for a week, and taking sleeping pills...  Amazing! I suppose that was one of the tricks our minds do when the pain is too much to bear?! ---My friend Giuliana's words

You know I am reading that book about Grief & Grieving and that is one of the many ways our minds emotionally handle it.

I had a terrible time the weekend my niece passed. We had to wait because she died so young and at home, for an autopsy to be completed. There were extreme tensions and our family was dysfunctional and sadly remains so in many ways to this moment in time but I remember calling my niece's mother, my sister and she held and maintained her bitterness even during my telephone conversation with her regarding her daughter's passing. It was a terribly long weekend and it went on for what seemed an eternity. Nobody had seen or knew of their whereabouts for two years and we had been searching for them and this is how we all came together again and it brought nobody closer or wiser because of it either. So never place any expectations on death and the outcome. I went along and did my chores since I was taking care of newborn calves at the time and did so as a robot, and maintained the norm as much as possible. But it was not a good weekend at all. I slept terribly, was restless and my mind and body were strange. I felt numb alot of the time and in a disbelief mode. I remember pinching myself several times over the weekend because everything felt so surreal and hopeless. This was a toughie to answer and relive Giuliana, but thanks for asking it. peace, love & blessings----ginger

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