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I'm not sure March 18, 2006 11:50 AM

I've been working with a therapist - I disassociate my emotions so when they hit me it is a flood instead of a feeling.

I always thought, after each miscarriage, that I hated new moms or moms to be. She helped me realize it is actually that I envy them - that I want to wisk their baby/joy away and have it to myself.

I still find it almost impossible to be around moms and babies in places like Dr waiting rooms. I go stand outside or in the hall to get away from it. My Dr told me I need to process all my feelings and the best way to start was to journal.

He said once I've done that a while I should work up to being able to wait in the general waiting areas as I work through my emotions in my journal.

I'm not sure why I said all this, I guess I just wanted to talk.

Sorry for a thread that is barely even on topic.

Melody

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 March 18, 2006 2:45 PM

Melody,

Who's treating you?  A man or a woman?  Because you first said "she" and then "he"...  Perhaps you have two doctors?  How often do you see them?  Is the journal the only thing they recommend?  Has it helped any so far? 

What about seeing children in the street/by the school/playing with their parents?  How does that affect you?  Personally, I would be more concerned about these kinds of situations which can take place anywhere/anytime, rather than "moving outside of the waiting room" and the like!

Group therapy might be helpful and supportive because you'd meet people with the same problem, and even simply discussing it is therapeutic in itself...

Let me know how you're doing, OK?  I wish you love and peace,

Giuliana aka Princess Little Rock

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 March 18, 2006 9:05 PM

My psychiatrist is the guy and the psychologist is the woman.

I see my male dr once a month and the female twice a month.

The journaling, a sedative, and a med called Geodon oh and Lexapro too is how I've been treated so far. (I was already on other psych meds before this whole mess)

I think I'm a bit more ok when out in the open because I can walk down a different aisle, cross the street, whatever makes me comfortable. Unlike when I have to sit in the waiting room at the Pregnancy Center where I'm literally surounded by babies and pregnant women and I can't avoid it.

For two months I've been trying to go to group therapy - but there is only one group and they only meet on the second tuesday of the month. Due to medical problems I've missed BOTH of the last two meetings so now I have to wait a whole nother month!

Thank you for checking on me - its so easy to withdraw at times like this and having somewhere safe to talk is very helpful.

Melody

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 March 20, 2006 3:47 PM

Dear Melody,

I am pleased to hear you're making some progress...  taking walks and relaxing more.  Doctors can help, but you're the only one who can do some very effective healing...  I know it's a gradual, long process, and it requires time...  Hang in there!  I'll be always ready to listen, if you want to talk.

Hugs and blessings,

Giuliana aka Princess Little Rock

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