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Crude Sex Jokes :) August 13, 2005 8:03 AM

Q. What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A. They can both smell it, but can't eat it.

Q. You know why they say that eating oysters will improve a man's sex life?
A. Because women know if he'll eat one of those, he'll eat anything!

Q. Why does a bride smile when she's walking down the aisle?
A. She knows she's given her last blow job.

Q. Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
A. Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

Q. What is the definition of "making love"?
A. Something a woman does while a guy is %#&!*% her.

Q. What's the only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back?
A. A police horse.

Q. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A. They're hiring.

Q. Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed?
A. Yeah...now he has no ears.

Q. Do you know how to eat a frog?
A. You put one leg over each ear.

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.

Q. How do you %#&!*% a fat chick?
A. Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.

Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog.
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Q. Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
A. Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Q. What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A. A private tutor.

Q. What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
A. Homeless.

Q. What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
A. An elephant with diarrhea.

Q. Why did the Avon lady walk funny?
A. Her lipstick

Q. What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.

Q. What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A. A pussy, cause you have to leave the bags outside.

Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common?
A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for %#&!*%.

Q. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
A. Even the pool table has no balls.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q. What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A. Well hung.

Q. What two words will clear out a men's changing room quicker than anything else?
A. Nice dick!

Q. How do you know when a Barbie has her period?
A. All your tic tacks are gone.

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 January 27, 2006 1:39 PM

what's better than roses on a piano?

tulips on an organ

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 January 27, 2006 10:21 PM

oh my!  [ send green star]
 
I don't care October 14, 2007 2:12 PM

Celibacy is for people that don't give a f_ck!

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to Andy G. January 16, 2008 6:14 PM

Hey Mr.Andy G!

I m reading your jokes. It really funny. lol. funny but true.

Victoria

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I love jokes January 16, 2008 6:18 PM

who ever best joke send me to lifeez15@yahoo.com

I love this web site because I can meet people even if long way.

Victoria

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Enjoyed those jokes May 24, 2010 10:36 AM

Thanks for the jokes.  They put a smile on my face today.  I needed that.

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reply July 20, 2011 5:34 PM

nice.. like it! thanx for sharing. philippine environmental laws | bible black episode 5

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 September 19, 2011 12:03 PM

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

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 September 19, 2011 12:04 PM

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

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