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Evil In-Law Interference September 29, 2004 6:45 PM

Does anybody else have a hard time with their partner's family? My husband's parents have despised me since he first brought me home, and now that we've got a 3 year old, they seem to be going out of their way to make my life harder! I am a pretty easy-going parent, but I have a few hard-and-fast rules. The main one is, Will is not allowed to pretend to kill anything! No guns, no violent video games, no violent movies, etc. We explained this to my inlaws when they started wanting to babysit overnight. The trouble is, they have a 5 year old and they let her do anything she wants. They take her to R movies! I specifically requested that Will not be taken to Shrek because I hadn't seen it and wanted to check it out first, and they retaliated by taking him to Shrek2 and Spiderman 2! Of course, he had nightmares for weeks. My husband and I have tried to minimize contact with his family, but they live in town and they pointed out that we're really punishing Will by keeping him away from his aunt, whom he adores. But I can't stand having him come back from a play date and tell me to "shove it" or call me a completely inappropriate word that starts with a B and ends with an itch. He's 3!! We've tried having my 5 year old sister in law over to our place, but she refuses to follow our rules (such as you brush your teeth before bed and wash your hands after you use the bathroom) and so Will thinks he can break rules too. I really don't know what to do, and I hate that my husband keeps being caught in the middle of this mess. I would be very grateful for suggestions/ideas/examples of even worse to distract me.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 September 30, 2004 3:02 PM

If it were me, I would eliminate contact between them and my child until they agreed to respect my limits. *YOU* are not the one punishing your son by minimizing contact; *THEY* are the ones punishing him, because by refusing to respect your limits, they are "choosing" to be cut off from him.  [ send green star]
 
Good idea September 30, 2004 11:42 PM

That's a great way to phrase and explain it to them, thanks for the suggestion!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 October 01, 2004 9:57 PM

I totally agree with Alice. I am also sorry you are having to deal with such troubles. Problems with family are never easy.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 October 03, 2004 1:20 PM

Have explained to my inlaws that they are scum and will never see their son or grandson again unless they give me great piles of money. Problem solved! LOL No, not really. My husband has promised to have a "calm, rational" discussion with them (ha), but I'm staying well out of it. I deal with my family, he can deal with his. I hope. Thanks for your suggestions and sympathy!!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
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