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Black Women Allowing Themselves To Be Degraded October 26, 2005 9:00 AM

I'm all for the rights of women especially our black women. However, what do you do when the black woman allows herself to be degraded and humiliated? I have a "thing" for black video chics. I desire better for them than shaking their tails and bouncing their boobs in front of a camera. Tell me, is it worth all that time and, possibly, the little bit of money they do receive? These male employers(the black man)can call you a queen and in the next breath cuss you for all you are worth. You are worth so much more, my sisters. There is much hope and a beautiful future for our black women. We are people to be respected. Don't allow yourselves to be degraded. We get enough of that from non-blacks/non people of color already. Take a stand and, if I can help, I got your back. Much Luv 2 U All, Niiki Rasheda Williams  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
Self Respect! October 30, 2005 3:39 PM

I totally agree with what your saying! But unfortunately it's women out their who think being a video hoe is the way to go and majority of why some women dont respect themselves comes from their parents either not being invovled in their life to tell them hey, i love you and repsect and you should also. But parents out here today could care less what they are teaching their kids and a result is what you see today on videos and on the street. Whats sad to me is the rappers and singers who sing dumb songs talking about we gonna cut and etc... and thinking thats romantic. Thats not romantic nor respectful but of course you got the young females who dont know no better thinking its the most romantic song in the world. I mean please dont call me shorty and think you gonna a civil reply out of me. Once women realize that acting that way and not respecting themselves is only hurting them and making them look like an ass, the faster things will start to change and maybe the black man will take some responsiblity on their part and start treating women with the dignity and respect they deserve! But ladies that will only happen when we as black women start respecting and loving ourselves.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
Okay two sides to everything... November 04, 2005 5:52 PM

On the one hand I agree i think women should respect thereselves and showing you can bounce your butt in a video aint where its at. On the other hand I think we should quit stero-typing these women cause of how the dress or "perform" in a video. See its a job to many of them and oh yea they may look crazy ( to me its a shame) but you have to know the person before we say they are not being what a respectable women is. I think that we as a society should stop looking down on what we do as an art form (ie music) but I also think rappers, singers and all should have respect for our people... But we buy the music and we bump the music and as ugly as it is we are accepting the music some of the worst degrading songs to women and to our race seems to be the most popular and that is what is so pitaful.... I guess i agree and I disagree if im making any sense to you all  [ send green star]
Two Sides November 10, 2005 12:26 PM

I disagree with you having to know an individual before you judge their profession when it comes to respecting and representing yourself as a strong black woman. Why follow the stereotypical way to "success"? There are so many avenues to becoming a person of wealth. Think about this: Why do our young black college girls drift mainly towards stripping if they are in a financial situation? It's not only because it's quick money, whether you want to believe it or not, the video chic is today's new role model for our young females. Do you really want to be known and remember as that "big booty hoe" in 50's last video? I'm not calling video chics hoes or %#&!*%. I realize by taking sociology that your position in social class, your social intergration, and where you are geographically located determines one's actions. What I'm saying is to not comform to stereotypes. We,as black females, already have so much against us. Much More Luv, Nikki  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
Lil Romeo November 15, 2005 3:35 PM

I saw some stupid video...I guess it was Lil Romeo's new video and it had a part where the girl says "you don't have to call me boo ..i wanna cut too"...Why the video girls are not sending a good message is because the males seems to pick up on everything they see. I don't know why. They see how the music artists: dress, walk, act, talk,treat the women, also what they wear, and so on. From the time they are little boys, they want to be what they see in those videos. Not all boys, but some. They seem to want to have the video lifestyle. The false luxuries. I guess there are females out there that want that too. I wish all of that would stop. These women can get a job somewhere else, they don't have to degrade themselves. BTW...about Lil Romeo...Master P..his father should be ashamed of himself...he has him up there in his videos with the girls half naked...ridiculous.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 December 07, 2005 7:53 PM

I just wonder what happened to us as a people that we have developed this new "culture" glorifying disrespect, immorality, drug use, etc. I have three granddaughters, and I fear for them constantly. It's difficult to even buy clothes for them, because of the way that clothing is cut today. I believe that i have to continually express myself to them regarding what is proper and what is not. They amy not agree, and my daughters are not all that supportive, since they are caught up in this "new reality", but I still feel that I must not jut give up and go along with things. We have so much to offer, and our young women have so muh promise, but what is to become of them in this time?  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 January 17, 2006 12:02 PM

should prostitution be illegal?  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 January 25, 2006 5:39 PM

I feel for ya. My 12 year old is doing and saying things that, well, I can't always apreciate. But didn't we all do and say and watch what appalled our parents! Show your love, Stand your ground, and most of all, UNDERSTAND what they are going thru. It will work out if you remain steadfast and a vigilent part of them! Tuesday  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
Trends February 11, 2006 12:00 PM

Trends can be dangerous. Videos with half naked women are teaching young men that is ok to look at a woman as a piece of meat. It is teaching disrespect that is evident more and more within the images and the humiliation of women being called hoes, and b!tch!es in the music.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
anonymous Here yee Here yee March 01, 2006 2:30 PM

I understnd you BLACK WOMEN have to stop anserwing to the H word, The B word, and all the other degrading things that we see on TV they also have to realize that they are beautiful and not to use their body to get ahead in life .If they use their brain ttell that n I have a name and it's not the above names we will get the respeect. I heard No more sheets by Junita Bynum and she made a good point if Black women woud stop thinking that a man is going to take care of them, he has to make six digits, he's got to have a job and be an asset, have their own. If they are the going out type or just a single woman period she should be and unreachable peach say no you will not sleep with me the first night I m a strong Black women and you will respect me things will change. I don't care what anyone says a man WILL NOT marry ad Woman or respect her if he sleeps with her the first night as black wome he are above that. Most f us have a strong woman in our famiily we should be like them not the way some of these rappers portarys us and the portary us as Hoochies nd other bad examples and we are not. *announcement* We are Queens! diamons a treasure for a good man and deserve to act and be treated like one. *diamond*  [report anonymous abuse]  [ accepted]
Queens April 19, 2006 9:53 PM

Queens you are, my friend! When some of you queens start shakkin that booty over and over late nite on BET, I wanna be the KING fo sho! All in all tho, you'll neva eva stop what the kidz are buying. Even tho some of the little girls in the videoes sorta catch my eye, I would die if it were my daughter or sister or my niece! I'm with you on this! Women,Black women especially, don't have to associate themselveves with this at all. But, men are men. They will see those bootys moving that way and the next day at work look at you and imagine you doing the same thing. Just stay strong and shake it for the one you like! Those that get it will know, those that don't will learn or die bootyless! Love and happiness to all  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 June 25, 2006 6:28 PM

I work in the medical field and I am a dancer too. As a self sufficient, strong black woman, it really makes me angry that when people hear I am a dancer, they automatically look at me and assume I am a stripper! I am not! I have been sick and away from work for awhile and when I am feeling better I am going to make a big move away from my hometown. I really want to teach dance. Im hoping to find a school close by to my new home where I can teach our young sista's that dancing is an art of beauty and grace. While I dont judge (grown women) who chose to dance in videos or strip, or in any way that makes them personally happy, I would like to see more young black girls setting their standards higher. Dancing ballet, Jazz, Tap ect. Steph you asked if prostitution should be illegal or legal? Not in the (old time) street way of man ruling prostitutes, NO! But once again (grown women) who make the choice to do what they want with their bodies, and physical and sexual safety issues are in place, then yes! It would not be a personal choice I would make! Women who do that because they want to, and can safely make their living, support their families and run a business, pay their taxes, I don't think they should be prosecuted for it! Peace T  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
Actually July 15, 2006 5:35 PM

Selling is leagle in the USA. Sex between consenting adults is leagle in the USA. The constitution protects our rights for both of these rights. Somebody, ANYBODY, explain to me how it is a crime to consent to have sex with another human being, AND ask for money before or after. Actually, prostitution is a LEAGLE term for pandering. Leagaly, anyone can get a license for a message parlor, or an escort service and sell sex. Municipalities and their judges sometimes go beyond the constitution and get away with busting some of these operations. Believe it tho, the selling of sex is actually leagle and protected by the constitution of the USA. Should we be happy because of this? I don't know! Maybe we should except this, and let those who participate in this do what they do. Require those in the buisness to be certified by the municipality like we do food service managers. If that ever happens, I would love to hear what the old health and human services employee instructs the would be prostitute workers before thier tests for certification.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
anonymous back to the original topic July 30, 2006 1:00 PM

hi. im new here and not black but i am a woman of color and C2C seems pretty lacking in people of color groups (or maybe people of color in general) so i hope you don't mind that i joined you. I think the phenomenae of women, especially of color and especially poor women, allowing themselves to be degraded is pretty pervasive in our society. i don't blame the individual women. its like a trap that we get caught up in because there is so little alternative out there. have any of you, or do any of you, live for periods of time where you discard all the sexualized stereo-types of women by not wearing those clothes or not removing your body hair or wearing make up or fussing so much with your hair? i have. its a really hard row to hoe (pun intended?). you catch more crap on the day to day that is negative and hateful. its not any more negative and hateful than if you wear pants that show your booty and have your hair perfect and lipstick to match. its just that the feedback we get when we are looking supposedly "hot" "pretty" "sexy" whatever, appears to be approval, even if it is often based in ignorance. have any of you been caught up in an abusive relationship and not understood why you were unable to leave? i have. its a form of self-hatred and its really hard to escape. its based on the same principle where you end up sticking around hoping for crumbs of approval because they guy makes you feel so bad about yourself and so degraded so much of the time. the hard part is finding the ways to feel good about ourselves so that we don't put up with that crap and are willing to hoe the hard row, to go against the grain, to be that supposed butch-dyke ball-crushing bitch, because that is the perception of too many, the reverse stereo-type. eventually, like back in the 70's, there might be a whole movement that gives us juice and energy and doesn't stereo-type us so badly in either direction. that is not today. today is hateful times for us. and i have to try and love my sisters who are caught up like i have been at times and try to find ways to provide uplift for women in general. not an easy task. and then i just think that part of being in an oppressed group is being held back in backward type thinking. that is to say that among communities of poor people and people of color, higher values are never taught or encouraged by our schools or the bilboards that seem exclusive to our neighborhoods or in what makes us money if we get into a comercial industry. its like a new kind of step and fetch it! "you can have this much, but only if you're willing to act like this." and then the message is that this is the way we are and all we can aspire to. like all those who's the daddy talk shows. those are so degrading. and they only serve to promote and continue this self-degredation. all the changes start with us. we have to be kind and understanding to our sisters while we cut a new path to walk on cause after the 70's the government made sure to cover that path as best they could. i love all my sisters and myself. its a struggle not to participate in self degradation.  [report anonymous abuse]  [ accepted]
 August 31, 2006 11:43 AM

I think you all are playing Kumbaya games with your minds. The pimp will never change his mind. The prostitute must regain her self dignity and change hers. You ask a black woman who dances in a rap video if she feels she is being degraded or a time when the very culture that we live in thrives off such 'degradation.' Is Beyonce expoliting herself when she dances half dressed in sexually suggestive poses? What about Little Kim who has been made rich, imitating Barbie, and rapping about her sexual and economic freedom and experssions? In patriarchal cultures, women are also 'degraded.' The major religions DEGRADE women and indoctrinate not only the males, but the females, that women are at the root of all sin. The Bible falsely projects women as two extremes...either Madonnas (loving mothers, loyal and virtuous wives) or as whores (Jezebel, Deliah, etc.) Black women in American have always been portrayed sterotypically. These streotypes are rooted in American social science. You all need to read early 19th century sociology, psychology and behavioral science thesis that allegedly examine Blacks and Africans. Its all rooted in white supremacy. This social science is then project via media: film, radio, TV, books, etc. The Black woman is a: * A Mammy * A Whore * A long-suffering, down beaten welfare queen * A comedic, fat woman who chases after meen * A big mouth, Saphire who degrades Black men * A hoochie * A Golddigger * A Tragic Mulatto (think Halle Berry and others) The fight isn't against self. It is against white supremacy and institutional racism that projects the image of Black feminity across the globe. Instead you all want to beat up on the woman herself, who has to adjust in order to survive. It is no differnent that our males and how our youth are protrayed (violent and out of control). The problem is many black women INTERNALIZE these stereotypes and then want to REACT TO something that is a false personality. This is called MENTACIDE. Your mind is being killed. And so forth.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
Stephanie December 07, 2007 2:48 PM

I agree. Thank you for this discussion! Please, let's continue it!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
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