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deborah leone's work September 10, 2005 12:16 PM

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excercise number a September 10, 2005 12:21 PM

Darkness reflected between the panes. Riveluets or rain water cascade in formation to form a pll at the bottom. The red, yelow, and green of the traffic light twinkle and dance merrilly through the storm. Headlight place glancing blows on all things that pass before them. Red tail light gleaming meanincingly as they speed from the crime. Sodden business suited men rush down the street, their forgotten umbrellas safe and dry at home. What are they thinking? Do they wonder about you as you wonder about them? Do they look to the sky and say "What if"?  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
your first exercise September 11, 2005 8:30 PM

I enjoyed the poetic feel to this. In particular the sentence beginning Sodden suited businessmen gave an excellent description. the onlt prob you had is minor with typos but they don't detract from your description. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Thank you for having a go.


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 September 12, 2005 11:41 AM

I Also have some things posted on Topic Writer if you'd like to check them out.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 October 19, 2005 12:11 PM

If you were not you
But sombody else
I would still know you
I would still find you
I would still love you

copywrite deborahleone 1999
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