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I ned advice and help October 01, 2006 12:45 AM

Hello Cheyenne,I am looking for peace in my mind.My past just won't let go. Or should I say I can't let it go?My problem is I was raped at 17 and now at 49 I still am extremly bothered by not being able to remember.I'm having a hard time sleeping and trying not to think about the rape.This man lives within 1 mile from me.Do you have any thoughts or ideas that might help? Thank you for your time, Joan  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
Advice and help November 06, 2007 9:37 PM

I honestly believe that the only person that can understand an abuse victim is another abuse victim.

I am amazed no one replied to this thread earlier. I won't say much just yet... I'd like to make sure that posts on this group's site will be visible to members only.

One thing I will say: I do understand what you're going through.

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Thoughts and advice November 07, 2007 7:56 PM

Dear sister,

I do understand exactly how you feel, and I can offer you thoughts on this situation and perhaps it can help.

I personally would not be able to bear the thought of the person whom hurt me to live a mile away, that in itself would put me in a state of panic. Have you considered moving if it is possible? 

Also, I truly believe in empowering ones self to live without excessive fear as fear can lead to panic attacks, depression and all sorts of other debilitating circumstances. If you are having nightmares, difficulty sleepint etc., my suggestion would be to confront the essence of what is bothering you.  Some women feel the need to have closure and that varies from person to person. Maybe that would mean an apology from the agressor (I do not encourage anyone to meet their agressor), therapy, spirituality or whichever makes you feel comfortable.  It is a long and hard road to recovery but you do not have to go thru it alone!  Dont be discouraged that this has happened to you several years ago because age has nothing to do with pain.  Some people recover from pain in 2 years and others may take 20 or more, so dont think that time heals pain because it doesnt.  Only being proactive and loving yourself enough to live a full and healthy life will be the first step to feeling like a thriver and not just a survivor!

 Abuse is a wretched disease that affects mankind, but it is all in how we deal with it.  We have to get to the root of the problem and not just put a band-aid on it.

You are a bright and capable woman, and you have come very far.  Tell yourself that! It is true, and real so believe it.

I do not know the specifics, but that is what I have to offer you for now and I hope that it sheds a ray of light in your day.  If I can ever be of help, just let me know.

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reply November 15, 2007 4:05 AM


sorry to hear your having a hard time at the moment,i know it must be hard x

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